#40 Old fears and pains are like hidden and forbidden rooms in our mind

#40 Old fears and pains are like hidden and forbidden rooms in our mind
Old fears and pains are like hidden and forbidden rooms in our minds. You can imagine that in the middle of such a room lies the fear or the pain, like a fiery red orb. Guards have taken place in front of the door, who want to prevent you from entering this room. Such a watchman can be a secondary emotion, such as anger, sadness, or guilt. Worrying can also be a watchman.

Each man creates his own watchmen and has them guard the door of the old sore. Whenever you experience something that resembles the old fear or pain, the gate to the room opens. Now the guards will wave their flags and banners wildly to prevent you from entering. You feel anger, sadness, or shame or you worry.

However, the guards have no weapons, they can neither hurt nor touch you. You could just enter the room between the guards and meet the emotion of the past.

Old emotions

Often people are hesitant to start feeling old emotions. ‘I have already cried so much, they say, ‘I have already been awake so much, leave the lid on the well.’

Entering the room, however, is surprisingly unspectacular.

It takes us to get used to a feeling of tightness or a burning sensation that we didn’t even notice before. By dwelling on it, it diminishes in intent. The many tears and restless nights were precisely the results of suppressing the original feeling.

#40 Old fears and pains are like hidden and forbidden rooms in our mind

When the gate opens, accept the invitation. Make sure you can’t be distracted and go inside. Take your time and familiarize yourself with the fiery red orb. Feel her pulses and accept her energy. Feel how she warns you and wants to help. Be still and listen. Relax as much as possible. Over time, the emotion will diminish in strength. She cannot do otherwise, because it is her nature.


The guards will watch the spectacle in astonishment. When you have walked in and out of this gate several times, they feel embarrassed. “What are we doing here?” they say to each other. ‘We are here for Jan Joker. Let’s go.’
From this moment on you will find that it is easier to talk about the old sore. You can interpret and explain it. When the subject comes up, you are no longer as emotional and you no longer have the urge to leave the room. The old sore has been processed.

Old sore constantly presents itself to us anew. And no matter how annoying it may be that old wounds open again because they are rubbed against, it always offers us a chance to process. Today’s events are also echoes of the past. They call to us and ask to be felt now.

This story comes from the chapter ‘Processing old sore’ from the book  Good Feeling,  emotions as medicine, written by Paul Loomans. Every week Paul posts a blog on Inspiring Life in which he gives advice on how to return to a basis of peace and trust, often illustrated with personal experiences.


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