5 tips to really work on yourself

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Stop and cure chronic hyperventilation

Years ago, a friend of mine broke off her engagement to her fiancé after being with him for nine years. She proudly told me that they were going to hold off on dating and enjoy being single because she was ‘working on herself’. I knew her life was all about working, exercising and going out with her friends. Maybe I wasn’t feeling well that day because I said to her, “What does that even mean? What are you doing specifically to work on yourself?

As it turned out, she wasn’t really doing anything to work on herself (unless a spinning class at the gym counts). It is very impressive to say “I am working on myself”. It makes you sound developed and it seems like you take good care of yourself. And maybe saying it out loud makes us feel like it’s something ‘real’, something tangible. But saying it and actually doing it are two different things.

Maybe you’re like that, or maybe you’re wondering what it means exactly, ‘personal growth’. Here are some tips to work on yourself, nourish your soul and make yourself better.

 

1. Reflect on your past mistakes

Don’t pretend you didn’t make any mistakes. You have them, I have them, we all have them. Instead of making excuses for your mistakes, try to name them and learn from them. What do you need to make the situation your own, what do you need to do to “make it up” with someone else and what will you do differently next time?

2. Read self-help books

Self-help books are the beginning of changing your reading. Spending 30 minutes less scrolling on Facebook and using those minutes to read something to improve yourself will reap huge benefits.

3. Meet up with great people

Surround yourself with people you admire. You are not working on yourself by dealing with people who only complain about their problems and never do anything to change them. This will only make you feel miserable and this does nothing for your personal development.

4. Set goals that mean something to you

These goals aren’t about doing 100 burpees or pushups. These goals include keeping a journal of everything you are grateful for, visiting family and friends regularly, and doing the homework your therapist gives you. These are the goals that matter.

5. See a therapist

Good therapy can change your life. The first therapist you go to may not be the best for you. The second and third may not. At some point, we come to a point in our lives when we can no longer blame our parents for everything. We can no longer blame our exes, bosses or anyone else. Therapy can get to the roots of your unhappiness, opening the door to creating the life you want and giving you the chance to really work on yourself.

 

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