Authenticity: How do I find myself again?

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High sensitivity
I need space to feel myself. emptiness. I notice that every time. That is why I also organize retreats. I love following or guiding a retreat. I come home again and I take others with me. Enjoy together. Come home together. In the emptiness I come into balance and I rediscover the meaning of everything.

The meaning of life

There is an innate ‘meaning’ in everything that lives. A tulip desires to become a tulip and not a tomato plant. She wants to become a tulip, with a beautiful flower and a good tuber. Therein lies the meaning and fulfillment of its existence. The tomato plant does not want a beautiful flower and large tuber. He is completely satisfied with the small flowers and would prefer to grow 35 tomatoes. This is how everything wants to unfold as it is meant to be. Therein lies the meaning and significance of life: expressing your innate potential.

What is it really about in my life?

But what is that potential with me? And how do I get to it? I don’t know who I am anymore and struggle to feel and find why I’m alive! I know many people who struggle with these questions. And although I seem to follow my own path since childhood, that question also sometimes crosses my mind. It is a question that keeps coming back: “What is it really about in my life?”

In that sense we are not a plant. We are more complex as humans. That question: “What is my life really about?” so will come back. That’s because we grow and change. And that also changes the direction that suits us. Always taking different steps. Time and again intersections and moments of choice.

Those moments of choice require a certain amount of space. Choosing rationally alone is generally unsatisfactory. And very often what seems sensible, turns out not to be the right choice for our happiness in life. Space is needed to determine course. emptiness. Room for that which is deeper; essential. This is where the core reveals itself.

Coming home

After a few weeks of constantly dealing with everything that had to be done, I lay in bed last night and ‘woke up’. Not only literally, I also woke up figuratively. I could observe my insides again. And by that I mean my body consciousness and also my own ‘being present in it’. It brought me back in touch with an experience of being. A knowing – beyond words – of who I am, why I am and what possesses me.

I came home again. My body started to release tension and after that I slept wonderfully. More than all the healthy food, vitamins and exercises I know, I experience this as deeply beneficial. healing. When I get home like this, I don’t have to do anything, nor know or understand.

The blueprint of your being

There is ‘something’ inside that knows and does it. You could call this the inner healing capacity, driven by the blueprint of your existence. It is that blueprint that has made your body grow from the fusion of two cells into a fully-fledged human being. It is the blueprint of your being, your Divine blueprint that is connected to the Divine plan. You don’t have to understand it. You can trust them!

The great thing is that this blueprint is given space when I calm down my ‘frightened, controlling self’ and open up into the void.

In the crazy mill of life, one seems to follow the other faster and faster. And then you are also continuously disturbed by messages popping up on your phone and computer. All that disruption, all those things in your head. They are all things that draw your attention outward. Away from yourself. Away from your core. And away from THE core; the meaning of life. You are lived.

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