As we get older, we don’t feel like switching from one label to another. I myself feel more and more satisfied with wearing only one label, to be seen as a seeker. I’m not exactly sure when I started to see myself that way, or when I even began to understand the term. All I know is that I may know a lot, but at the same time know nothing at all. That’s why I keep looking, hoping that one day I’ll really know everything. At least that sounds like a seeker, doesn’t it?
You may see it spiritually or not, but we are all walking a path and we all want to make sure that we have chosen the right path. That’s why we regularly look at others, how they walk in their path, and whether they seem to know something that we have missed. We look, we compare and we judge. We may even try to be like them sometimes, but eventually we all get back on our own path.
And that’s good, but I don’t think it’s wrong to try things out. Experimentation is a sign of an active and healthy mind. Free experimentation is indispensable for an active seeker. And if we do it right, we can keep what we learn from it and what feels good, while letting go of what doesn’t feel right.
Yes, if we do it right.
Continuing to rely on your own judgment, your own knowledge, that is the challenge. And that challenge is why I’m writing this now and probably why you’re reading this now. No matter how much you believe in your own right, we tend to look for confirmation of that right. We do this by comparing. We look at how others live, not only to learn from them, but also to better see what our own ways look like.
We look around us, we say, but in fact we unconsciously look inward. But even if we realize that and let our Higher Self take over, we soon forget that as soon as our inner child sees something bright and shiny passing by. We like to leave our own path behind, so that like a sister to Cinderella we can put on the magical shoes of another. We try on the shoes even though we know they don’t belong to us.
Somewhere inside we know that most of the things we try don’t suit us.
And yet the temptation to try it is almost irresistible.
It’s normal to want to understand the world and yourself better, but what we might really be looking for with that understanding is peace. Do we perhaps believe that if we only know as much as possible, we can not only accept what is , but even feel safe with it? Is our quest fueled more by our animal instincts than our spiritual compass ?
I don’t know. What I do know is that a constant search for knowledge with too much intense focus makes our actions go directly against the peace we have secretly sought for so long. We are so eager to learn that we sift through thousands of articles about what we should do, what we should hold on to, and what we should give up.
In every article we hope to read the truth. We might even try some of the tips, only to find out that our wish isn’t being fulfilled. We can fulfill our goal of finding more useful information. But we find no satisfaction in that process. And yet we keep coming back to our search.
I myself am lucky enough to be able to learn many fantastic lessons from all kinds of sources. I am still often amazed at the enormous wisdom that some authors carry with them. That fascinates me and I don’t seem to be the only one who sees the value of their lessons, as evidenced by the thousands of people talking about the effects. It is often the enthusiasm of others that leads me to apply what is taught in those lessons.
I try, but most of the time I fail completely
I fail to see the effects that others are so fervently convinced of. When I see that I’m not going to make it, I usually blame my own laziness or bad attitude. Only recently have I come to suspect that it is not my own dedication or effort that prevents me from doing what others seem to do. Maybe it’s this: what I tried, looks great on another, but I’ll never be able to wear it. No matter how hard I try.
I don’t think I’m the only one who blames myself. There are probably countless people who unjustly give themselves up before we even think about taking someone else’s advice. Usually with a great sense of guilt that we didn’t immediately and in awe pay attention to the lessons of those obviously smart and successful mega-gurus.
Many more people probably continue to read books and articles that don’t resonate with them at all, purely because we think we are failing if we don’t understand the lesson. A mistake that we must correct by stubbornly persevering. Many people, myself included, force ourselves to follow principles that don’t suit us just because a famous name explains them to us. Are we sometimes afraid that people will think we are arrogant,spiritual intelligence ?
Perhaps we are not looking for a wise guru to show us the way, but for a Good Fairy to transform us. Perhaps above all we are trying to be a Cinderella, who is rescued and reborn to dance with beautiful people. All the sadness and rut, gone with some magic of a good-natured, artistic being, without our understanding of the why and the what for.
I’m sure we’re all surrounded by all sorts of helpful entities, but I don’t think there’s a Good Fairy in between. I am also sure that no one can be saved by any magic other than our own . Peace you will never find in or get from anyone else. These certainties will of course only help you if you stick to them.
I will remain a seeker to the end, so I must remember to resist the innate tendency to compare myself to others. That uncertainty is not only difficult, but also inevitable. That I only have to walk my own path, wherever it takes me, along with only those people and things that I feel comfortable with. I’ll have to remember that I can do that at a slower pace , as long as I keep walking in my own shoes. Maybe then I can follow the advice of so many personal channelings:
— “Tread carefully, my beloved child. Be careful, be peaceful and trust.”