Excessive caring for others, neglecting yourself, feeling less yourself, not indicating your limits, pleasing… these are the patterns that indicate a disturbed relationship with yourself and others. What you would like is to be who you are, do what suits you and propagate this steadfastly. You wish that you dare to be yourself in peace.
The energy you need for this can be found in abundance with the goddess Hestia . She is one of the independent goddesses and urges you to find your spiritual direction: the path you walk with yourself and for yourself. Others can accompany you for a longer or shorter period of time, but the direction, route and pace are entirely up to you.
Connect with Hestia and listen to what she whispers to you…
Hestia is the goddess of domestic peace and is symbolized by the fireplace. She can guard the peace at home because she has found peace within herself. With Hestia’s energy you can completely immerse yourself in what you are doing, without being distracted by the needs and wishes of others. And yet Hestia is also binding; it is subservient to the greater whole. Without having to be in the spotlight, but also without giving herself and her energy away thoughtlessly. Hestia feels what is needed and then does it in her own way.
What Hestia teaches you:
Be true to yourself
Hestia does not deny herself, even if it means making unconventional decisions that others do not always understand or even disapprove of. She is uncompromising in life and calmly and decisively goes her own way. From this energy you notice that your choices do not always please others, but this does not mean that you give in to their wishes; the pain of self-betrayal outweighs the pain of disappointing others, and you consistently choose yourself.
Guard your limits
Hestia is certainly prone to stress, but this isn’t a big deal as she knows when to hold back. She senses very sharply when her limit is being approached and then adjusts in time by creating extra time and space for herself. You could say that Hestia does have a predisposition for overstrain and burnout, but that the close bond with herself ensures that this predisposition is not expressed.
Know what you’re worth
Hestia is convinced of herself and takes that for granted. You won’t see her exhausting herself in making excuses for who she is and what she wants, she’s just being herself and doing her thing with conviction. In doing so, she does not need the admiration or applause of others, she does not seek other people’s approval for following her path. Hestia just knows where her way leads and walks it without too much ado. In this way she can present her work in this world, even if it may not (immediately) result in social recognition.
What does that do for your relationships?
If you look at life in this way, many things within relationships are suddenly no longer a problem:
With different wishes
If your partner wants something different from you, that doesn’t mean you automatically change direction. Instead, you continue on your way and see in what form you could possibly merge together. What you don’t feel is the fear of losing the other person, because you stand very firmly within yourself.
With high demands
Just because your family places high demands on you, that doesn’t mean you’re running from one place to another to please everyone. You do what is in your power and what suits you and thus take care of others without wearing yourself out. What you don’t feel is the guilt of not doing enough for others, instead you are there for them, just like yourself.
In case of rejection
Being rejected, abandoned, or cheated on by your partner hurts you, but you don’t succumb to self-doubt. You know what you are worth and you can easily pick yourself up again. The connection with yourself is also so deep that you can easily access the healing and comfort within yourself. What you don’t feel is the despair and powerlessness of not being good enough, what you do feel is your true pain and beneath it your further anchored self-esteem.
How do you activate these qualities in yourself?
· Consciously go your own way, even if it feels uncomfortable and exciting. Experience this uncomfortable feeling, you often feel it physically. You eventually learn to bear this feeling and eventually it even disappears.
· Make time for yourself and plan this in your agenda. A deal with yourself is just as important as a deal with someone else, so stick to it. Your partner and your family can also manage without you for a while, you can rely on that.
· Feel what rejection and betrayal do to you and thus strengthen the connection with yourself. Don’t succumb to the temptation to flee into drama, but experience your true pain and use it to grow.
Be true to yourself in connection
If you set out in this way in your life and love, there is no longer any question of putting yourself aside for the other. There is also no question of separation or loneliness, because Hestia is naturally connected with herself and the greater whole. It is in that connection that she experiences the fullness of life. The more you learn to trust this too, the richer your life will be.