Being true to yourself is one of those typical slogans that you come across a lot in coach-land, but what does it really mean? For me it means that the me-with-me relationship is good. That I can look at myself in the mirror and say, “You’re doing great! You live from your heart, feel the freedom to follow your passion and let everything that is important to you freely into your life. You dare to take the necessary steps to achieve your goals and you experience the process towards them as joyful, sometimes extremely frustrating but always instructive. And it always takes you further than you were.”
In addition, for me there is an extra dimension that obviously does not apply to everyone, namely my relationship with God, the Divine, the source or the universe (all the same for me). Where I come from and go back to and where I am always an essential part of, and so in the now is part of my I . A me-with-me relationship is good to me if you feel complete, with yourself as the only company. Then you do need others to fulfill your social needs, but your partner and friends do not have to confirm you in parts where you cannot do it yourself. That to me is living in freedom.
Relationship with yourself: being true to yourself
I still have a number of steps to take in this, but over the years I have already let go of a lot of people who could not unite with what is crucial to me. That is not fun, very painful even, but afterwards turned out to be so valuable, because only then could I feel how I let myself be limited by the opinion and/or lifestyle of others. This is entirely my own fault for not being able to sustain the me-with-me relationship in those relationships in question.
The only relationship that you can be 100% sure of that will last your life is with yourself (and therefore God in my case). That’s why I think it’s so worth investing in that. When I’m old and almost perished and when I look back on my life, I don’t want to conclude that I made everyone happy, I was always the support and refuge for the whole world, but I lost myself in that picture. That I have not always been able to be true to myself.
No, I want to remember how I followed my own unique, self-inspired path and encountered many special, like-minded people. And hopefully I have been able to inspire many people. One lasted a few years, the other maybe a lifetime. But it was always with positive energy and enriching for my life.
Take care of yourself
For years I have cared for others better than for myself and have experienced the consequences of that, which is why I now turn it around ; If you don’t take good care of yourself, how can you take good care of others? Be true to yourself. If you are in a friendship or relationship that you feel is not coming into your full potential, that you are giving up a part of yourself, what is the motivation to continue like this? Fear of the unknown? Fear of being alone? Afraid you won’t make it? Feeling of obligation?
But if you feel that you are slowly shriveling inside, that your light is fading very slowly and you are simply unhappy, is it worth it? Don’t get me wrong, I’m really not promoting here that you should end your relationship and put your friends on Marktplaats, but that you should take a close look at your relationships and see if they still match who you are, your identity. And if not, then there is work to be done.
It can also be very refreshing and innovative, for any type of relationship, to run an APK on it. Often that is enough to get back on the same wavelength. But of course it can happen that you have both developed/grown in different directions and that staying together for both parties means that they will do themselves and the other short. And then…. then love is letting go.