19 Best Tips To Gain Confidence Fast

best tips to gain confidence fast

Best Tips To Gain Confidence Fast Purpose of this article: Many children of narcissistic parents deal with  low self-esteem and the feeling of never being good enough.

Self-confidence can be briefly described as the confidence you have in your skills and in your worth as a person.

Sometimes it is used synonymously with self-esteem and it plays a huge role in the success in your life. Low self-esteem can make you feel defeated and depressed.

In addition, it can ensure that you do not grow to your full potential, that you make bad choices or, for example, end up in a destructive relationship.

On the other hand, too much self-confidence is not good for you either. People with too much self-confidence are called narcissistic and are so full of themselves that there is little room left for others.

They have trouble building deep and equal relationships and so, like people with low self-esteem, can become unhappy because of their self-confidence.

best tips to gain confidence fast

Both too low and too high self-confidence is therefore not so good for you. It’s best to be somewhere in the middle of the continuum. To believe in yourself and in your own abilities, but to be realistic.

For example, you know that you are good at your job, but you are also aware of your pitfalls.

The hallmarks of a healthy level of self-confidence are:

  • being confident
  • being able to say no
  • A positive expectation of the future
  • Recognizing and acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses
  • Negative experiences do not have a major influence on your general vision of the future

In contrast, low self-esteem is characterized by:

  • Insecurity
  • Having a negative expectation of the future
  • Not being able to express your needs,
  • Focusing on your weaknesses
  • Feelings of shame
  • Depression or anxiety
  • The belief that others are better than you
  • Difficulty accepting  positive feedback and performance anxiety

In psychology, self-confidence is seen as a type of personality trait that is fairly stable throughout life.

It encompasses a variety of beliefs about valuing characteristics of yourself such as your own appearance, your beliefs, your emotions and behavior.

A healthy level of self-confidence helps you navigate life with a positive, assertive attitude, believing that you are capable of achieving your goals. Self-confidence therefore plays a significant role in your motivation and in achieving success.

According to a well-known psychologist named Abraham Maslow, self-confidence is one of the most important human motivations.

In Maslow’s hierarchical pyramid of human needs, self-confidence belongs to the highest level and matters once the other basic necessities of life have been met.

Maslow argued that it is necessary for people to have both recognition from others and an inner self-confidence. Both of these aspects must be fulfilled in order to grow into an independent individual and to achieve self-fulfillment.

Factors Influencing Self-Confidence

To know how to get started with your low self-confidence, it is useful to understand to some extent how self-confidence is created.

During your life, various factors influence the emergence and development of your self-confidence.

After all, you are not born with a load of self-confidence, but the starter package to expand this further is built into your genetics.

best tips to gain confidence fast

Self-confidence therefore develops over the course of your life and its course depends on a number of factors.

For the sake of clarity, we look at it here from the psychophysiology model, which is currently prevalent in science.

First, there are the genetic factors that have a major influence on the formation of your personality. Think of your temperament.

For example, some children are more active and more focused on the outside world and contact with people. Others are very shy and prefer to withdraw.

Secondly, parents or educators have a major influence on the way in which self-confidence develops.

Children who grow up in an environment where they are constantly criticized, rejected or rejected are at risk of developing low self-esteem. Narcissistic parents  have an incredible impact on a child’s development.

But the so-called ‘key children’, whose parents have little time for them, are also at risk. Thirdly, there is the social environment that often exerts its influence later in a child’s life.

You can think of boyfriends and girlfriends, teachers and sports or music schools. As you can imagine, being bullied at school is a factor that can have a major negative impact on your self-confidence.

All these factors together and in interaction with each other have thus ensured that your self-confidence has become the way it is. In addition, there may be other additional factors such as physical health.

For example, imagine that you grew up with wonderful parents who supported and encouraged you outright, but that you had a long illness as a child.

This can cause you to have little confidence in yourself and in your own abilities. Fortunately, supportive parents can help you get over this.

Gain more confidence in relationships

Men and women don’t have it easy these days.

This has everything to do with the amount of images we are exposed to on a daily basis via Tinder, Facebook and Netflix. A high ideal of beauty of the perfect man and woman has emerged.

The perfect man is tall, strong, handsome, has a washboard and a thick head of hair, is independent, intelligent and capable of both repairing machines and solving complex social problems.

In addition, of course, he has a fantastic job with a huge salary, an expensive car and a beautiful house. He is the hero who stands up for the values ​​he believes in, but is also sweet and tender.

The ideal woman has a bikini body that every woman is jealous of, she has many friends, a super fun creative job with nice colleagues and a perfect family.

What if you do not fit this perfect picture and you are not confident but doubt yourself?

If you’re short and thin, have lost your hair, or if you’re petite, clumsy, or don’t like going to the gym?

Or you’re not a size 36 anymore, you’ve got some marks from your precious children and you don’t always know how to dress perfectly.

Then you can quickly get the feeling that you don’t really count and can’t compete well with the other men and women

best tips to gain confidence fast

Sometimes you can really feel confirmed in this if you rarely have matches with nice people on Tinder. Instead, you’ll only get matches with weird men who only want sex and women who later turn out to have emotional problems.

If you don’t give yourself the stamp of the ideal Tinder match, that doesn’t mean you will be single for the rest of your life! Who knows, you might even land a partner who doesn’t quite fit the ideal picture.

Perhaps it’s reassuring to know that scientific research has shown that for women, the appearance of the man is less important than the other way around. On the other hand, research has shown that, in general, men don’t like size 34 at all.

If you are still not reassured and want to boost your self-confidence a little further, here are a few tips.

One way that works well to tackle this problem is to look differently at the value you assign yourself. Realize that everyone is different and that it is your unique characteristics that make you interesting to women.

So take a good look at your qualities! Maybe you are very sweet, honest and reliable.

Those are definitely qualities that women find attractive. But a good sense of humor or being able to deal with children are also popular.

  • Practice dating

Suppose you have a nice match on Tinder, but you get so nervous that you hardly dare to say anything during the date and hardly dare to look at her.

In such a case it helps anyway to just practice more with dating. Practice makes perfect! The more you expose yourself to your fears, the more they will diminish.

Try to control your nerves a bit by breathing slowly, talking slowly and moving in a calm and calm manner.

Also remember that not shooting is always wrong. Watching Netflix alone at home on the couch won’t get you much further.

  • Go to the gym

If you feel insecure about your appearance, go to the gym and do cardio or train your muscles.

This can boost your confidence in a short period of time. It can also help to adopt a more confident posture.

It is important to realize that dating is often a game of attraction and repulsion. It is precisely this playing with each other that can make it exciting and exciting.

So should a woman make a dismissive comment, respond playfully and bounce the ball back.

Also Read: 14 Simple Tips & Exercises To Reduce Stress

More confidence at work

A large number of people feel hindered in their work due to low self-confidence.

If you’re one of these people, you’re probably very self-conscious and especially aware of what you’re not doing right.

You feel inferior to your colleagues and spend a large part of your workday comparing yourself to others.

In addition, you probably often doubt your skills and have difficulty making decisions. Because what if you make the wrong choice?

As a result, you are often looking for confirmation and approval from your colleagues or supervisor. A shame, because this makes you look insecure!

Some people feel so insecure that they are afraid of losing their job. As you can imagine, this causes a lot of stress.

Which in turn leads to a decrease in your performance and so you end up in a negative spiral in which you dare less and achieve worse results.

best tips to gain confidence fast

If this situation continues, it can spoil your job satisfaction and possibly even lead to depression or burnout.

Self-confidence at work is therefore very important for a successful career. Because if you don’t believe in yourself, how can you expect others to?

So get started with your confidence! How do you handle this now?

See some tips here:

  • go do things

The more often you do something, the more confident you will become that you can do it. Think back to your driving lessons.

At first you were probably very nervous and could hardly imagine that you would end up driving on a major highway.

But after a few lessons and some years of driving experience, it becomes so automatic that you can listen to music or chat with a passenger while driving.

  • Judge yourself by what you can do instead of what you can’t

According to Einstein, anyone can become a genius, but don’t judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree.

That would just make you think he’s worthless all his life.

Therefore, research what your qualities are and make sure you can use these in your work. Consult with your manager about other, more appropriate, activities.

  • Make your own decisions more often

Instead of mulling over for hours and relying on the opinion of others, you start making decisions yourself.

When making decisions, take a deep breath and think about the outcome you are striving for and adjust your decision accordingly.

This way you learn which things work and which don’t work and how you would do it differently next time. This will help you learn to trust your own intuition more.

  • Accept it if you make a mistake

See yourself as someone who is still learning and don’t expect perfection right away. Accepting mistakes makes you more confident.

  • Speak about yourself in a respectful way

Be careful not to talk about yourself in a negative way. Talk about yourself respectfully as if you were your own best friend.

You will soon notice that others will also treat you more respectfully.

  • Learn to say ‘no’

In addition, it is important to learn to say ‘no’.

Because if you always say ‘yes’ to everyone, it seems like their interests take precedence over yours. You are then so busy for others that you neglect yourself and this can lead to a burnout.

Finally, it is important to say goodbye to your perfectionism.

By setting high standards for yourself and your performance, you put unnecessary pressure on yourself and this leads to stress.

Also Read: 10 Dangerous Symptoms That Indicate A Narcissist

No self-confidence? 8 Best Tips To Gain Confidence Fast:

 If you want to boost your confidence even further, here are some general tips that can help you.

Tip 1: Visualize yourself as you want to be

Maybe you have an ideal picture of how you would like to be. First, examine the characteristics of this ideal picture.

What kind of body position does this involve? In what way do you talk? What are you doing? How do you interact with others? Write down all the characteristics.

Then you try to imagine that you are really like that. Think of it as a kind of movie in your head.

best tips to gain confidence fast

For example, how you bring in a big job at work and all your colleagues look at you with admiration or even envy.

Or how you are in the pub and you notice that the opposite (or the same) sex is secretly admiring you or starting to blush at your sight.

The more often you play these kinds of videos in your head, the more it will become reality because you start to believe in them more and so your self-confidence grows.

Tip 2: Do something often enough

Practice is the key to success. Talent is not an innate fact, but something that arises through frequent practice. a

If you feel insecure and think you’re not good enough at something, work on it!

The only way to improve skills is to simply do it often.

If you want to get better at a certain sport, train a lot. If you want to get better at dating, arrange as many dates as possible.

Please note that you do not immediately expect great end results because practicing is already a goal in itself.

best tips to gain confidence fast

Tip 3: Follow your progress

To keep yourself motivated, it is important that you become aware of the progress you are making.

Of course you have an end goal in your head, but be aware of all the small steps that lie on the route to that end goal.


Perhaps you can inform people in your area about your plans and ask for feedback from time to time.

That way, they’re more likely to compliment you when you’ve done something right. This will immediately boost your confidence and motivate you to keep going.

Tip 4: Sports and exercise

Exercise is good for both your mental and physical health. It is a positive and relatively easy way to boost your self-confidence.

You literally feel stronger because you gain muscle and are in better physical condition.

In addition, sports can show you how to push your limits and get better at something.

Low self-esteem is often accompanied by negative expectations about what you are capable of.

Through sports you can see that these expectations are incorrect and you can think  more positively and form a more realistic picture of yourself.

best tips to gain confidence fast

Tip 5: Realize that failure is part of it

Nobody is perfect and everyone makes mistakes, that is insurmountable.

Precisely by worrying about failure, you cause more things to go wrong. It is like a  self – fulfilling prophecy .

The art is therefore not in preventing mistakes, but in accepting them.

If something doesn’t work, don’t think “See, I can’t do it” but form a more constructive thought like “Too bad, it didn’t work out now, better next time”.

That way you don’t have to worry so much beforehand whether something will work for you.


Tip 6: Change your body language

A low level of self-confidence is often accompanied by a certain posture and body language.

Other people automatically pick up on these signals and will act accordingly.

That is why it is essential to adapt the language your body speaks. First, make sure you are standing upright.

Don’t let your shoulders slump, but put your chest forward and your chin a little up. In addition, it is important to look people in the eye when you talk to them.

Insecure people often make too short eye contact and look at the ground more often. Therefore, try to maintain eye contact longer and not look at the ground but keep your eyes at eye level.

Continue to move in a calm manner and avoid touching your face and neck while having a conversation.

A final tip is to give a firm handshake when meeting others.

best tips to gain confidence fast

Tip 7: Set realistic goals

The low self-esteem you experience probably didn’t happen overnight. It has probably been a process of years, perhaps from childhood.

So keep in mind that rebuilding your confidence can also take time.

After all, there are no tricks to inject a dose of self-confidence in one go. So set goals that you know you can achieve.

Because it is precisely by setting too high goals that you become disappointed in your own abilities and confidence in yourself can be damaged again.

So start by setting very concrete and small goals. For example, in the case of the gym, it can be a goal in itself if you manage to go there once a week.

best tips to gain confidence fast

Tip 8: Work actively on yourself

Overcoming low self-confidence is a tough job that you really have to get started with. So make sure you work with it every day.

When it comes to your self-esteem, only one opinion that really matters – yours!

We tend to be our own harshest critics. We all have a story or story that we have made about ourselves that shapes our self-perception, on which our core image rests.

If we want to change that story, we need to understand where it comes from and why we think that way.

Sometimes automatic negative thoughts like “you’re fat” or “you’re lazy” are repeated in your head so many times that you begin to believe they are true.

These thoughts are learned, which means they can be unlearned. You can start with affirmations. What do you want you to believe about yourself? Repeat these phrases to yourself every day!

Also Read: When Does a Narcissist Come Out? 6 Best Signals


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