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Can a relationship survive if one of the partners is more spiritually developed than the other?


As souls, we come to Earth for a human experience, each of us seeking different lessons to learn and different people to meet. We are all on a different path of our own, and for those of you in relationships, you may find that your own path may be different from your partner’s. Do you feel more spiritually evolved than your partner? And if so, what does that mean?

Thinking you are “more spiritually evolved” than the other may indicate…

To assume that you are more spiritually evolved than any other being may indicate that you need to work on your own self-growth. This way of thinking can create a separation between yourself and others, an illusion that does not reflect your inner Divine presence. Part of ‘feeling more spiritually connected’ comes from the practice of non-judgment.

If you find yourself judging others on their “level of spirituality,” it may come from your Higher Self encouraging you to do more inner work. We are all a reflection of each other, so judging others as less spiritual may be your soul’s way of telling you what you need to go inward more.spiritually developed

There is also a common belief that once you have “become a spiritual being” you must demonstrate it through meditation, yoga, veganism, and other manifestations. While the practice of these practices has supported my personal development, it does not mean that they are necessary for spirituality.

Moreover, there is no such thing as ‘becoming a spiritual being’, since we are all spiritual beings already. So if you think you are developing more spiritually than your partner, it could be your ego, which can eventually put pressure on your relationship.

For example, four years ago I started with a plant-based diet to fuel my interest in spiritual development. I immediately started encouraging my ex-partner to do the same because I thought it would do him as good as it did me.

It took me a long time to understand that this, in some ways, was not having a good effect on my relationship with my partner. We will have to accept that there is no good or bad when we are in touch with our Higher Self. We are all on our own spiritual journey and there are countless paths that lead to enlightenment.

How do you promote a healthy relationship when walking different paths?

Within the New Age Spirituality Movement, there is a misconception that it is better not to have relationships with people who do not hold the same spiritual beliefs as you. However, you don’t have to get rid of your old relationships ; in fact, you may learn more from these relationships than from relationships with like-minded people.

And as for your own relationship, remember that there is no need to share your thoughts with your partner or force your knowledge on him. By focusing on your personal growth and raising your own vibration, you also raise the vibration of the collective consciousness and especially the vibration of those closest to you.

My ex-partner and I were together for four years. We have both changed a lot during our relationship. Our standards and values, our beliefs and interests changed drastically; however, we maintained a loving and healthy relationship, by having an open mind to each other and avoiding imposing information on each other.

Don’t get me wrong, we learned a lot from each other and constantly stimulated each other to new insights, but we also understood that we were not always ready to receive and accept the same knowledge at the same time. We discussed many of our beliefs with each other, but also knew when to shut up, which ultimately led us to grow together rather than individually.

Perhaps you are more “spiritually evolved” than your partner.

To be clear, in my view we all walk our own path of truth and there are no exact definitions of more or less spiritual. However, if you’re struggling with the fact that you and your partner are both walking very different paths, here are some qualities I’ve seen in people who I believe are “aligned” on their spiritual path:

  • Non-judgmental
  • Loving, compassionate and kind
  • Open minded
  • Willing to talk about anything (including difficult topics)
  • Educated (not necessarily through conventional education, but rather through a deep curiosity about the cosmos and society)
  • Not self-centered
  • Don’t compare success and money
  • Altruistic and generous
  • good listeners
  • Practicing detachment
  • Honesty (also honest to oneself)
  • No shame in feeling extreme emotions, especially negative ones (I see that a lot with New Age Spirituality, that there is a stigma attached to having negative emotions. If there was something really wrong with feeling emotions, have not chosen our souls to incarnate in a body with such a broad spectrum of feelings).

It’s okay to be in love with someone who doesn’t embodies all of these qualities; it’s even beautiful! However, if you’re bothered by the fact that your partner doesn’t have one or more of these qualities or you’re working towards achieving these qualities and your partner doesn’t, then it may be time to rethink your relationship.

How do you deal with letting go of your partner?

spiritually developedThinking that you are developing more spiritually than your partner can also be intuition, a sign that your soul is telling you it is time to move on alone. People come in and go out of our lives with a greater purpose, each human being teaches us an important lesson. If you recognize that your partner has fulfilled his/her purpose in your life, then it is okay to let that person go.

Be thankful that you’ve been in a relationship and learned from each other, but also have the strength to let your partner go when the time comes. If you choose to end your relationship, or vice versa, if your partner chooses to end the relationship with you, try to put yourself in your partner’s shoes. Empathy is one of our greatest allies in navigating dark times.

Dive into your heartDuring the last months of our relationship, my ex-partner expressed his insecurity about our future. I struggled to understand why until I tried to see our relationship through his eyes. As soon as I stepped into his shoes, I finally understood why he felt this way and I knew deep in my heart that letting go of him was the best decision for both of us. Instead of splitting up, we called our separation a sabbatical.

That made our “sabbatical” easier, as it wasn’t meant to end our friendship or the innate love we feel for each other. We appreciated each other and were grateful for how much we had learned from each other, but in the end we knew that the romantic aspect was no longer serving either of us.

One last thought…

We all define spirituality in our own way and you will find that your own definition changes as you grow. If anyone believes other than you, recognize the beauty in individuality and duality. Remember that love can block you from knowing when to release your partner, and on the other hand, the ego can blind you and prevent you from seeing your partner’s true beauty. Whether you’re in a relationship or not, know that the love you share with another can also be nurtured within yourself.

“The moment I heard my first love story, I started looking for you, ignorant how blind that was. Lovers don’t just meet somewhere. They’ve been together all the time.” – Rumi

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