Did you come across this article because you think you are dealing with a narcissist?
You may find it difficult to assess whether the behavior your partner or family member displays towards you on a daily basis is narcissistic or not.
I can help you with that!
In this article I will give you 70 examples and characteristics of narcissistic behavior so that you can recognize whether or not you are dealing with a narcissist. (Also, look at #12 and #62, they will surprise you).
What is Narcissistic Behavior?
Narcissism is a personality disorder in which people consider themselves incredibly important and act at the expense of others.
Narcissistic personality disorder , however , stems from an extremely poor self-image in which the displayed behavior is aimed at making themselves feel better at the expense of people around them.
The behavior is a selfish cry for attention with the aim of creating a sense of superiority.
Any form of criticism is pressed in the head or in an annoying way passed on to those close to them.
How do you recognize manipulative narcissistic behavior?
Manipulative narcissistic behavior can be recognized by the fact that you are put in front of the narcissist so that he or she looks better.
Take a look at the list of features and examples below. If a loved one, family member or partner shows one or two of these characteristics, that person is not immediately a narcissist…
But if you recognize a lot of this, then it is really time for measures to get your own life back in your hands.
Examples and characteristics of narcissistic behavior
1. Consider themselves more important than anyone else, especially you.
2. Feeling she’s entitled to everything, even if it’s something you do as a favor.
3. Need a lot of attention. Feel like the king when many people listen to them.
4. Want to be admired, the more people are at their feet the better they feel.
5. Need constant confirmation that they are doing things right.
6. Can’t stand if you don’t give them the confirmation and can react very badly.
7. Feel superior to others, even if they haven’t done anything to justify it.
8. Thinking that only people who show the same behavior are their equals because of the sense of superiority. Everyone else finds them inferior.
9. Often treat people they don’t need badly, while treating people they do need with infinite respect.
10. Living in a fantasy world that supports their sense of superiority.
11. They are often very vain, appearance is very important to them.
12. Usually know they have narcissistic behavior and are often proud of it. You can even ask them straight out of the box . They are often inclined to answer in the affirmative.
13. Let conversations always be about themselves. They know how to twist a conversation about small things so that it is about them again.
14. Can exaggerate about their own talents and what they have done and achieved in life.
15. Take advantage of others to get what they want.
16. Often don’t work well together because they don’t understand your feelings.
17. Have a lack of empathy for others. If you have a problem they will hardly care. But if they can use your problem to exert power over you, they will not fail to do so.
18. Wanting to have the last word. You give your opinion and you get the answer “but that’s probably not the whole story.” Or, “of course there is much more to it”.
19. Ignore it when you give your opinion in a group discussion. The narcissist ignores it and moves on to another story as if you hadn’t said anything.
20. Provoke a bored response from you by constantly taunting and irritating you, then saying “Hey, you’re always so aggressive”. And they are not afraid to repeat that example to outsiders in order to put themselves in a victim role.
21. Trying to put yourself in a bad light in front of the people you care about in order to make yourself look better.
22. Alternate loving behavior with behavior that wants to bring you down.
23. Interfere with your social life as much as possible in order to exercise more control over you.
24. Downplay a good performance from you. “Anyone can do that” or, “I would have done it much better”
25. Do not grant happiness to you in life if that happiness does not come from the narcissist.
26. Trying to make yourself feel bad by constantly pointing out what you’re doing wrong in order to lower your self-confidence. This manipulation technique is also known as gaslighting .
27. Compliment something and then bring it down with an annoying comment.
28. Immediately get on the defensive against negative feedback, without taking it in. “What you’re saying is just sheer nonsense.”
29. Fire negative feedback right back. “It’s your fault I’m late because you asked me to bring a bottle of wine”
30. Create problems instead of solving them.
31. Lying by making up things they have done and denying other things they have done.
32. Seek your empathy by telling sad stories about themselves (usually made up).
33. Often pretend to be nice, compassionate, and helpful. However, if you choose for yourself once, the narcissist will immediately go against it and not allow you time for yourself.
34. Don’t get discouraged if you give them negative criticism.
35. Give blunt criticism, but if it’s not right they won’t admit it, but say something like “that’s not what I meant, you’re taking it all wrong again”
36. Frequently sting with hurtful comments.
37. Almost never say sorry, because they almost never think they did something wrong.
38. As a result, they often arrive late, cancel things at the last minute or do not keep appointments.
39. Twist your words when it suits them.
40. Will speak badly about a fun hobby you have if they are jealous of it.
41. Make regular promises, but rarely keep them.
42. Feel responsible for all the good things that happen and feel that you are responsible for all the bad things that happen to you.
43. Draw all the attention to themselves. Even in situations where that is very rude such as someone else’s wedding or even a funeral.
44. Trying to suck the energy out of you for example before an event. Then there is a greater chance that you will look bad and they respond to that by drawing attention to themselves.
45. Blame you if your dog does his business once in the house.
46. Constantly arguing about all sorts of petty things.
47. Find it difficult to maintain friendships, often because others can’t stand the narcissistic behavior.
48. Take it all in if you forgot to close the window at night and use it against you again and again if they forgot to do it themselves.
49. Seek perfection in themselves and others. Because perfection almost does not exist, they are therefore constantly complaining and insufferable to others.
50. Focusing only on the negative instead of seeing the positive and negative side of a situation.
51. Are often psychologically vulnerable, if something doesn’t go the way they want, they can get completely confused.
52. Take no responsibility for anything. They prefer to pass everything on to you, even if you have nothing to do with it.
53. Give you a nasty look if you do something they don’t like.
54. Don’t like what you do. When you prepare tea they want coffee and when you prepare coffee they want tea.
55. Do not respect personal boundaries. They act like toddlers, think that everything revolves around them and that everyone thinks that way.
56. Will say that they share everything with you so that you also share everything with them including passwords from, for example, social media.
57. Check your social media with this information. They know everything you publish and also read along with your work and private communication, although they often do not admit this.
58. Are very materialistic. They tend to spend a lot on expensive things because that gives them status.
59. Can also get you in financial trouble because they think they deserve your money for their expensive taste.
60. May also compliment you on materialistic things such as success, work and achievements to get your attention back.
61. Often seem to have multiple personalities. One minute they appear caring and sensitive , the next they are hurtful and abusive.
62. Become manipulative as a relationship grows stronger. The narcissist lives with the insecurity and fear of losing you and that makes them want to control your life even more.
63. May exhibit physically aggressive behavior, if they feel more squeezed.
64. Will try to bully you if you don’t please them.
65. Make derogatory comments about you to your friends and family.
66. Can put on an emotional show in which they even cry as a manipulation technique. They try to appear helpless and thereby gain your attention and empathy and use that to gain power over you.
67. Don’t leave yourself alone if you’re trying to distance yourself.
68. Trying to act on your feelings with the most violent means when you say that you want to say goodbye to them, they can even threaten suicide.
69. May exhibit stalking behavior if you have distanced yourself from them.
70. May also stalk your new partner after you break up with a narcissist.
So, these are a lot of examples and characteristics of narcissism.
As I mentioned above, it is not a problem if you recognize one or a few of these examples in your daily dealings with someone.
Do you recognize a lot of it? Then it’s time to do something about it and take back control of your own life!