7 Common Relationship Problems & How To Solve Them

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Ways To Resolve Insecurity In A Relationship

Few romantic relationships are always rosy.

Relationship problems crop up in everyone from time to time.

But if you often think ‘I can’t stand my man anymore’ then you probably don’t feel comfortable in your relationship.

Let me say right away that this is not so strange.

There is a big taboo about this, but my experience has shown that more people sometimes think this way about their partner.

Purpose of this article:  In this article we will look for the most common relationship problems and what the causes are. I also give you some tips to solve relationship problems.


Relationship problems: what to do?

Ending a relationship is not easy and luckily it doesn’t always have to come to that.

However, are you suffering in your relationship to such an extent that it has completely lost your self-confidence or that you have developed a very  negative self-image?

Maybe it’s time to think about ending your relationship for the sake of self-preservation.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves and take a look at the most common relationship problems.


Examples of relationship problems

1. Bad communication

Communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship.

In the ‘rush’ of everyday life, partners often forget to really communicate.

If you also avoid communication or do not dare to express your opinion, then there is more going on.

A bad relationship is characterized by not talking openly about problems, by avoiding difficult issues, and by not listening to each other.

A study by the American Psychological Association of 136 couples who divorced during the first four years of their marriage found that poor communication was the cause. This turned out to be a more important cause than a lack of dedication or too much stress.


2. Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse happens when your partner tries to control your life.

This can be through intimidation, but it can also take other forms of manipulation. For example, gaslighting or  ghosting. These are typical manipulation techniques of narcissists or even psychopaths.

Freek and Marie have been together for a while. Freek seemed like a loving and affectionate guy. Marie liked that. She needed someone who was always there for her.

Gradually, however, she noticed that Freek was becoming very possessive. When she went out with her friends, Freek suddenly appeared there too. When he wasn’t there, he showered her with messages to ask if ‘everything was okay’. When Marie came home full of stories, Freek just walked out the door.

Marie became increasingly insecure about herself and about Freek’s good intentions.

This behavior is actually meant to keep an eye on Marie and prevent her from doing things that Freek has no control over.


3. Non-existent sex life

Let’s be honest: if you lead a hectic life and are overstrained by stress, your mind is often not focused on sex.

Yet there are often other reasons why your sex life is as good as non-existent.

If you can no longer tolerate your partner, it is quite normal that you no longer feel like having sex with him.

Stress Resistant Under Pressure And Tension

Maybe your partner has different desires than you. Narcissists, for example, can be very dominant and make unreasonable sexual demands.

Sometimes a narcissist finds himself so interesting that he doesn’t think anyone is good enough to have sex with, not even his own partner.


4. Bad Habits

As long as you don’t get annoyed by your partner’s bad habits, there’s nothing to worry about. We all have bad habits.

Relationship problems arise when bad habits start to irritate you so much that they don’t make you happy at all.

“Ah…how much does he have to brag about his job again.”

“Gosh… how he enjoys all the attention from his friends.”

“What he says is not true at all. This is a big lie!”

Recognizable?

The examples I have cited are typical characteristics of narcissists. A narcissist likes – very much – to be the center of attention. He will do everything he can to make himself as interesting as possible. That can really get on your nerves.


5. You don’t do anything together anymore

Happy couples do things together. This ranges from furnishing their home to sitting on a terrace together (and enjoying it too). But doing new things together is also characteristic of a good relationship.

Research  published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that couples who participate in new and exciting activities together have better relationships and are more passionate about each other .

Has doing things together become quite a task? Do you or your partner go your own way when it comes to hobbies and social contacts?

Having little to nothing in common with each other makes you feel disconnected.


6. You don’t see a future together anymore

People change over time. That is normal.

Maybe your partner is no longer the Adonis you fell in love with. Maybe your partner’s job takes up a lot more time than when you were first together.

Some couples survive these changes well; they change and grow together into a more mature version of themselves.


7. You don’t trust each other anymore

Sometimes you have no reason at all to doubt your partner’s trust, but you do it anyway. Often such a lack of confidence has its origin in childhood, several studies have shown.

However, sometimes there are clear signs that can indicate infidelity. Does your partner always take their phone with them? Does he often leave the house when he gets a text? Does he have to work overtime very often?

These signals can – but do not always have to – indicate infidelity. If you are unsure and wondering if you can trust your partner, ask them if there is any cause for concern.

In a healthy relationship, partners try to reassure each other and have a constructive conversation about this.

If your partner throws a tantrum and reacts very aggressively to this question, this could indicate a  narcissistic personality . A narcissist may even accuse you of cheating on them.


How do you solve relationship problems?

An unhappy relationship is emotionally draining.

Your relationship should be a source of comfort and support, not a source of stress and anxiety.

When a relationship is shaky, even the most innocuous comments can spark conflict. There always seems to be something simmering beneath the surface. You may avoid each other to avoid disagreements.

Am I Overwrought

Solving relationship problems can be done by rediscovering each other and by communicating efficiently, openly and respectfully.

The main condition, however, is that this ‘work’ must come from both sides and that both partners must be prepared to invest in the relationship.


What destroys a relationship?

Almost everyone starts a love affair with the best of intentions.

I use the word ‘almost’ very deliberately here.

Narcissists, for example, are very calculated when it comes to entering into a relationship. They also enter into relationships with the best of intentions. However… only for himself.

A narcissist is so thoughtful when entering into a relationship that you don’t even realize that you are being abused. This realization comes much later…

If you are about to end your relationship, chances are you have experienced one of the following:

  • Stop being kind to each other
  • Lack of respect
  • Being humiliated
  • Endless pointless discussions
  • Feeling lonely and lost after a fight
  • Infidelity, both physically and emotionally
  • The feeling of being manipulated
  • Hide things from each other
  • Egoism
  • Don’t stand up for each other
  • Not being able to let go of mistakes
  • Lack of support

How do you know that love is over?

If you’ve come to this article, you’ve probably asked yourself this question many times.

It is a question to which only a subjective answer is possible.

Does he like me?

You have been through a lot together and you feel a certain bond with each other. But if annoyances keep cropping up and result in relationship problems, where does love lead?

  • Until staying together out of habit?
  • To a life side by side?
  • To daily annoyances?
  • To a general unhappy feeling?

At some point, you may also ask yourself, “Why should I love someone who doesn’t make me happy anymore?”

Once you have reached this point, often comes the realization that the love is over.


What to do about a bad relationship? 5 tips

If your relationship doesn’t feel good anymore, that’s a sign on the wall to do something about your bad relationship.


1. Check if your relationship can still be saved

Only if you both show equal commitment to overcome relationship problems with open communication, honesty and self-reflection can a toxic relationship be saved.

If one of you is not willing to do this, saving your relationship will of course be very difficult.

Does your partner continue to lie, cheat and withhold things from you? Will manipulation techniques continue?

Unfortunately, your relationship will not change and then it is better to each go their own way.


2. Acknowledge responsibility

If you both realize that your relationship is going to be difficult and you both want to work on this, then you are on the right track.

Recognizing responsibilities that harm your relationship is essential. It reflects insight into self-awareness and self-responsibility.

Both of you need to be able to acknowledge your part in this unhealthy relationship, from resentment to jealousy to not expressing concerns and disappointments.


3. Claim space in your relationship

In a toxic relationship, there is often one partner who cannot or should not express themselves or their own needs.

You have your own opinion but you find yourself constantly doing something different from what you would like. You do this to prevent relationship problems from escalating.

If you are the one who is afraid to speak your mind, then it is necessary to claim your own space within your relationship. Let your partner know how you feel and that you occupy an equally important space in the relationship.


4. Make your voice heard

Do you often walk on eggshells not to upset your partner?

Do you avoid saying things because you are afraid of your partner’s reaction?

These are important warning signs!

In a relationship it is essential that you feel relaxed.

Let your voice be heard and tell honestly why you feel distance between each other. Ask your partner to acknowledge your feelings so that you can restore trust in the relationship.


5. Find healthier ways to criticize.

Criticizing your partner is possible and allowed, as long as this is done in a respectful way and is also regarded as such by both partners.

If your partner criticizes you in a judgmental way, it crosses the line for constructive criticism.

When everything is criticized and you have to hear what you did wrong or how you could have done things better, it is very difficult to feel appreciated.

It is better to build a dialogue where both of you can listen to each other’s point of view.

However, if you start thinking of your partner as an ‘enemy stranger’ then things really don’t look good and it’s probably too late to save your relationship.


How do you end your relationship?

There’s no point in clinging to the bars of a relationship that you know won’t get any better. If you feel you are no longer happy and your relationship is hurting your confidence and self-esteem, don’t resist letting go.

The end of your relationship will be accompanied by confusion and sadness. Losing someone, even if you’re the one ending the relationship, feels like losing a part of yourself.

Will this create new scars? Doubtless. Allow these emotions in as you will also have the opportunity to discover other aspects of yourself.

If you are convinced that you want to get out of your unhealthy relationship, plan your breakup well in advance.

Let your partner know clearly and respectfully that you want to end your relationship. In a toxic relationship, it is better not to delve too deeply into the underlying reasons. After all, there’s a good chance that your partner will pull out one of his manipulation techniques like  love bombing .

After the break up, cut off all contact with your ex-partner. This avoids falling back into old patterns. Hoovering may be one of your ex-partner’s favorite techniques to win you back.

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