What is control?
As mentioned above, taking control is taking responsibility for yourself. It can help you organize inner chaos and reduce the feeling of being overwhelmed. You learn to give your experiences and feelings the right place by seeing them in the right perspective. When this is done, you can confidently enter your inner darkness to order the inner chaos. You can free yourself from the struggle with your emotions and your inner turmoil.
The eight aspects of control
1. Speak correctly
Right speaking means that you do not let your judgmental, inner voice determine you and that you do not talk yourself into a pit. We often tend to identify with negative comments. These grow into the inner voice that constantly criticizes us and has no faith in us. And of course, it doesn’t do us any good if we talk to ourselves in this way for a long time.
Proper speaking comes from relaxation and tranquility. You respond with compassion, curiosity, and kindness rather than from a critical and reactive attitude. Try to become aware of the way you talk to yourself and try to speak to yourself in a positive way.
2. Acting Right
Doing the right thing is often easier said than done, as it is difficult to break free from your habitual patterns. It is important that you keep in touch with meekness, that you choose tranquility and that you do not fight against yourself or get into resistance. Acting right is something that directly benefits you. Some forms of this are self-care, setting boundaries, making clear decisions or doing nothing at all.
3. Right Livelihood
A healthy way of earning a living should be seen as a job where the effort and return are in balance and the income is sufficient for you and your loved ones. What you do should contribute to yourself and others in a healthy way. You cannot limit proper livelihood to one particular aspect of your life. It pertains to your whole life.
4. Right Effort
This aspect has to do with regulating your energy. The way you approach things you need to do and with what effort is very important. Not what we do, but how we do things has major consequences for our well-being. See how much energy you put into the things you do and how it makes you feel. Are your energy levels and efforts to get everything done in line?
5. Proper Attention
Right mindfulness is an attentive attitude in the here and now, including the way you relate to yourself. This attitude is especially important when it comes to the parts of yourself that you like less, but also when interacting with the people around you.
6. Correct concentration
With the right concentration, it’s about what we focus our attention on. For example, if you find yourself sinking further and further into worrying, it’s important to know that you have the ability to focus your attention elsewhere. You can do this by watching your thoughts as if they were clouds and watching them rise, appear in your field of attention, float by and disappear again. Make room to perceive a thought and, as it were, take a step back.
7. Right Thinking
Right thinking is not about thinking right or wrong, but about becoming aware of the intentions behind your thoughts. This manifests itself in the way you approach a situation. Right thinking, for example, could prevent you from being swept up in a vortex of negative, incorrect thoughts about yourself or your place in the world. It also means that you become aware of your state of mind and become the observer of your thoughts and feelings.
8. Right View
Right view means that you pay attention to what is on your mind right now. It includes the image you have of yourself, the world, and your place in the world. You observe how you look at things and how you act on them. In addition, it means that you perceive your feelings at the moment and acknowledge and respect the point of view of others.
The way we think about the world determines the way we relate to our environment. What we believe is true and forms the framework of our actions. Doubting the truth of your own thoughts and ideas is therefore a good way to free yourself from limiting beliefs and expectations.