Dealing with grief and sadness; seen from Chinese Medicine

sad, grief

You are sad. Perhaps you have lost something or someone dear to you. Perhaps you have not been able to make things right, have never been able to say and now that other person is no longer there. Or maybe you’re grieving for what you never had. There can be many causes for sadness. Letting go hurts. Grieving means going through the pain of loss. It’s a way through the pain. According to Chinese medicine, it is very important to share or express your feelings so that you can better process your sadness or other painful feelings.

Unprocessed emotions

Unprocessed emotions, and especially those feelings that are too big or too difficult to live through, sink in, as it were. They tax the organs. They will – literally and figuratively – affect your life and your health subconsciously. Some people believe that you should ‘be strong’, that crying is weakness or that you should try to stop the bad feeling as soon as possible. The advantage of ‘hiding away’ is that you can now focus on work, obligations and fun things. The downside is that it’s not gone. You have not grown because of it. It hasn’t taught you anything and it’s going to screw things up under the skin.

Does that ruin your body and your life? How?


The emotions tax your organs. They’re stuck. Your feelings have gone under the skin. They unconsciously determine your actions. You live from beliefs, but not from your deeper being. Living from your deeper being requires that you engage and resolve things. Unresolved issues are like clouds to your inner sun. They make your life chilly and cold.

How ‘going through it’ deepens, heals and liberates your life

By allowing your feelings, sharing them and healing them, you grow as a person. You develop compassion, compassion for yourself and others. After all, you encounter your own vulnerability. That’s difficult. It asks for protection and love so that it is safe. And who gives you that? You can give that to yourself. In fact, it is a prerequisite for healing and growth on the deeper layers. By letting in your feelings, you learn to be your own best friend. You develop wisdom and you get to know yourself in your deeper being.

Letting go of the old

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In essence, this applies to any difficult feeling, but especially to mourning and sadness. In Chinese Medicine, sadness is associated with the metal element. It belongs to autumn. In the fall, the old leaf sheds and the energy retreats into the root. The old must be released so that something new can take shape. What is the old? Those are your old handholds, your beliefs. Sometimes also the people around you, the things that were familiar and comfortable.

Letting go hurts and brings grief. But in that sorrow, and under the mourning is the gold (the most precious metal/metal element). After all, you mourn for what you loved. That love remains. It clarifies and strengthens. The essence beyond the form becomes your hold. Trust is created under everything. That is an immensely important force in your life.


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