When we become aware that past choices are the source of current problems,
guilt and shame arise. This leads to fear of making future choices and deadlock. How do you make sure you don’t fall into this trap?
Ingredients for awareness
In order to grow in our consciousness process, there are 2 important conditions that we need to provide ourselves:
“daring to look at yourself honestly” and “taking responsibility for your own life”.
We all realize this on a deeper level, yet it often proves difficult to do this. Perhaps it is the most difficult thing for a person? Acknowledging this is an important first step: it is also tough. This is also a process that takes time and in which we must give ourselves time to grow.
The cause of our problems
Gaining insight into the cause of problems is essential. And dead at the same time. Because suppose that you unconsciously caused your problems yourself? Because of the choices you have made in the past?
To rise above our fear of awareness, it is important to change the way we view things.
From “own fault big bump” to “cause and effect”
The problem is not in the choices themselves. It is the meaning we give to those choices. Rather than looking at them from a cause-and-effect perspective, we often label them as “guilt”. From childhood, the phrase “your own fault big bump” is stored in our subconscious. To peep out when we realize that we have a part in the situation we are in.
From judging to learning
Everyone probably recognizes this. We have all made choices in the past that, with the knowledge of today, we would have made differently .
That doesn’t matter. It becomes problematic when we start to judge our past choices. If we come to regard them as “good” or “bad”. And let that influence us negatively in our current choices.
The essence of man is “growth”: developing and learning. In addition, the earthly concepts of good and bad are quite limited. How can you learn if you only allow yourself to make the right choices?
Looking back on previously made choices that led to problems is not pleasant. They bring out painful feelings.That makes us prefer to keep these doors closed.
Cleaning up creates space
We have parked the choices of the past and the accompanying painful emotions in our subconscious. Because these are still present in us, it is more difficult to make better choices now. Old pain blocks access to our intuition. It is important to clean these up.
By working on an energetic level, you release these feelings from your system. And do you understand the underlying cause, why you made certain choices at the time. Often this has to do with family patterns and is not just your fault.
But is it a karmic pattern that has been passed down to you from previous generations? You subconsciously maintain the pattern of your ancestors, because you have energetically inherited it. In addition, you may also be influenced by other energies: people who are part of your life. Insight into the energetic relationship you have with the other person is very enlightening.
Letting go of this energetic connection on a deeper level is liberating.
It is also important to allow yourself to release repressed feelings: cry, scream, use your pain in a creative form. With this you take responsibility for your emotional life. When these feelings are (partly) gone, space is created within yourself. This space offers you the opportunity to make better choices.
The energy of guilt
Feeling guilty is an emotion that is accompanied by a stagnant energy, your life energy flows less well. When these feelings continue to increase, we get stuck. You drag the ballast from the past with you and that makes progress difficult. People experience that because of these feelings they get stuck in their growth process.
Women are especially good at feeling guilty a lot. And if you are highly sensitive as a woman, the chance is even greater that guilt feelings regularly crop up. Your internal registration system is constantly on and you have an indefinable feeling in your subconscious.
Fear of the future: choice paralysis
In the past you have made choices that did you no good. To what extent can you still rely on yourself? Will choices in the future lead to more growth and satisfaction?
Making choices becomes more and more difficult, because the fear of making the wrong choice grows. In that case, not making a choice or making a safe decision is an attractive thought: “choice paralysis”.
It is not wrong to walk “the safe way”. And keep your life as old as possible. One possible downside to going the safe way is not discovering your true potential. It is precisely experiences that lie outside familiar territory that are often valuable and lead to development, to growth.
The past has mainly created fear and disappointment and “trust” does not just magically appear. The only way to grow your confidence is to walk your way one step at a time.
The way that leads within, into you. By making choices based on your intuition. And thereby experience where choices based on your intuition lead to. Choices from your deepest self are always the best.
These can also be mini choices. There’s no need to quit your job, move, or take a big trip while you’re not ready. Sometimes it is good to stay in an existing situation and slowly grow from there. When you notice that choices you make from within are good, you dare to trust yourself more and more. Over time, the experiences expand and you come into contact with other energies and other dimensions. You experience more and more that the universe helps you on your way: through spontaneous hunches and people who cross your path.
Our divine potential
Let’s face it: it’s pretty tough to walk your own path. You are thrown back on yourself and can no longer blame others for your situation. You also become more and more aware that things don’t just happen to you. It is much more comfortable and easier to remain under the illusion that things are happening to us and that we are a tiny doll in an endless universe. Nothing is less true!
As you progress on your path, your perspective changes. Where it was initially scary to be aware of your own influence in your life, this is increasingly turning into an internal force. As we experience more often what we are capable of as an energetic being, the realization grows that we are creators with divine potential.
And we get help from other energies, in the form of insights, “coincidences” and special encounters.
Be kind to yourself
What I often tell clients is “be kind to yourself”. Constantly judging yourself and your choices will not get you any further. You are human and the core of being human is evolution.
A beautiful quote from Jiddu Krishnamurti :
“The highest degree of intelligence is the ability to observe yourself without judging yourself.”
Perhaps these starting points will help you on your way:
Look at yourself honestly. What were the choices based on in the past? On your mind or on your intuition? How big was the influence of others on your choices? Do you dare to make your own choices now? And if not, what is the underlying belief? Does this correspond to reality? How do you see yourself? Is this true or are the beliefs of others about you? Do you see yourself as you really are?
What are your (limiting) beliefs about who we are as humans, our potential? Are you willing to let it go and walk your way with an open mind? So that you can experience for yourself that your potential is much greater than you might have thought possible?
Create moments of silence in your life. When you live in strict schedules and keep running around, it’s impossible to feel your intuition.
When you have to make a choice, turn inside. As you do this more often, you will learn to distinguish between your mind and your intuitive self. At the end of the day, look back: what choices did you make today, no matter how small? And what were these based on? Did they work out well? Did they lead to satisfaction, satisfaction?
Don’t compare yourself to others, focus on your own way. We all walk our own path with our own obstacles and challenges.
Have patience and compassion with yourself!