About the Pain Paradox: pay attention to complaints and they can reduce (or even disappear)

Emotional exploitation: what is it and how can you recognize it?

We tend to run from pain, fear and sadness, because we don’t want to feel that. Holistic GP Juriaan  recommends that you consider your complaints. He calls it the Pain Paradox . “By going to the pain, looking it in the eye and dealing with what is there, she gets the opportunity to dilute and dissolve.”

The road to a healthy body and a healthy mind is not only through ‘happy’ meditation and positive thinking. That way goes through the pain.

Body scan

The tears are in her eyes. She wants to answer my question what she came for, but she can’t articulate it. Just the thought of having to say it. The burden on her shoulders, the pain, so intense that only her tears can speak. “We’re going to do it differently,” I say. “If it’s okay with you, we’ll start this conversation from your gut feeling.”

At my request she scans her body with closed eyes. When asked which part of her needs attention at the moment, she says with a contorted face: “I feel a huge pressure on my chest.” If she brings her attention further to her chest, she wants to get away from it. She opens her eyes anxiously and says she can’t. Don’t want to, don’t dare. I reassure her. She agrees to my further guidance and closes her eyes again.

Attention to sadness

Not much later she tells with tears down her cheeks that because of breast cancer she is so afraid to say goodbye to her breast. After she has paid attention to this pressure, this grief, and allowed herself to find this very complicated, it slowly diminishes. By always wanting to get away from the pain, the pressure in the chest, neck and shoulders only increased. Now it got attention and her complaints decreased. On sight.

Avoiding and denying pain

Everything in our system is geared towards not having to feel pain. No sadness, no fear and no uncertainty… And whenever we experience that, our system will help us move away from it. Extremely useful and extremely efficient. At least, so it seems. Our head tells us: I don’t want this feeling. This can not be true. I want something different. From the conviction that if you keep shouting long enough that you want something different, or that something else has to come, if you shout loud enough, it will change. Or we’re going to do something .

We choose action to replace the negative feeling with something else. And often this works. Short. The pain, sadness or uncertainty remains and comes back just as hard at another time.

Lying to your body

By constantly moving away from it, we are not actually recognizing what is there . We want something different than there is. I don’t want uncertainty, but there is uncertainty. I don’t want sorrow, but there is sorrow. And I don’t want pain, but there is pain. Every time you tell yourself you want something different than what is, you are actually telling yourself a lie. Your body knows and feels that. How does it feel when a lie is told to you? Every day you get up with the thought that there should be no more pain, but you know that there is pain… How much resistance do you think that creates? How much energy do you think it takes to maintain this lie?

The Pain Paradox

The road to a healthy body and a healthy mind is not only through ‘happy’ meditation and positive thinking. That way goes through the pain. It is about daring to see, feel and acknowledge the pain. And allow yourself to find situations and feelings difficult. From that place you can learn to accept and accept. Can you stop fighting. I call this the Pain Paradox . By going to the pain, looking her in the eye and dealing with what is there , she gets the opportunity to dilute and dissolve. How do you think your body will react to that?


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