Doctor Juriaan: how escaping your straitjacket contributes to your happiness

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Doctor Juriaan: how escaping your straitjacket contributes to your happiness
General practitioner Juriaan Galavazi specializes in holistic medicine. Regular medicine is and remains the basis of his practice, but it offers the opportunity to look at complaints from a broader perspective. Sometimes with a complaint, you need a different vision in which you let go of old thinking patterns. In this article, you can read more about how escaping your straitjacket contributes to your happiness.

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I think there is something wrong with me…”. He is 67 years old. This gentle-eyed man sits slightly tense in front of me. He would like to learn to feel more. Better to be in his own skin. He has had several examinations and was given the sticker “Asperger’s”, an autism-related disorder. Terms such as ADHD have been mentioned before. The proposal was to take medication. He wanted to talk to me, in the hope that I could do something for him…

Let go of what is ‘normal’ and live your own norm

He is an artist by profession and says; “I don’t feel that much.” Immediately the question comes to mind; artist and not feeling so much… how true is that? Anyway, I’ll just wait and listen. “If other people are emotional, sad, or angry, it doesn’t affect me that much.” A silence follows.  Then I say the following to him: do you realize that a large part of the people who come here come with the question to learn this a little more? He looks at me questioningly.

I continue. The stickers that we get stuck on, the sticker that you get stuck on, that doesn’t mean much to me. It mainly tells me how “we” think what “normal” would be. And with that, we put everyone against a yardstick of how it should-should-be and if it deviates slightly from that we try to explain that, give it a name and bend it to the norm.

You are precious in your own way

octor Juriaan: how escaping your straitjacket contributes to your happiness

I see it differently. I start with the preciousness of each person. I see the fact that the emotions and feelings of others do not affect you directly and do not bring you down as a quality rather than something that is “wrong with you”. I don’t think it’s about changing this. But that you may learn to embrace it and learn to see it as a gift, a unique quality.

He hadn’t seen it that way before. “So I don’t necessarily have to change anything?” Does it bother you? Do you wish it were different? “No, it doesn’t really bother me…” A cautious smile appears on his face. What do you notice when you say that? He thinks: “Yeah, not that much actually…”. How does ‘not so much’ feel, I ask. “It doesn’t feel as much as… peace, space, it feels light. Very nice actually…”. Could you say that you do feel?

Asperger’s, ADHD, and depression; are diagnoses that exist, but are all too often used to make people conform to a straitjacket that completely ignores the person they are. With protocols and medication made into machines that fit into a certain system.

Do not be fooled

It touches me when I see how many adults and children are forced into a straitjacket these days. Perfection is the new norm. If you don’t meet that, then you better do your best. If you do not, you will receive a lower school recommendation. Recently I had a conversation with a twelve-year-old girl.

She had received KBL advice. I tell her it’s just a statement by the yardstick of our school system. Don’t be fooled by such statements. It says nothing about your qualities. In my eyes, you are a girl who is very social, and creative and has a feeling for dance and horse riding. Properties that are very valuable, but are not measured. You have qualities and you can stand for the preciousness that you are.

A diploma or training is not an affirmation of your heart’s desire

Doctor Juriaan: how escaping your straitjacket contributes to your happiness

The degree to which you are successful and valuable does not depend on a diploma or education. Many people have also achieved that without finishing their education. In fact; a significant portion of graduates and graduates have become what they didn’t want to be at all.  They have fallen open-eyed into the ‘if-then trap’. If I have a diploma, I will get a job, if I have a job, then I will have an income, if I have an income I will be successful, if I am successful I will be free, happy, relaxed… Nothing could be further from the truth. “ A diploma full of lies stating that you are an adult ” (Stef Bos).

Break with the straitjacket

A tear rolls down her cheeks. She is silent when I ask what touches her so much. Then I continue; sometimes people are touched because they are finally met in who they are. That what they hear feels right to them. “I’ve been doubting myself so much lately…,” she says. It is precisely these tears and this pain that bring you back to who you really are. Something in you is telling you that the straitjacket you’re being pushed into isn’t right for you.

So it is important to pay attention to that and not push it away and continue your path blindly; the path in which you must become what others think you should be. You are unique, you are precious and you have the right to do whatever is right for you. Your way. Don’t just believe what others say, use it as a signpost. Your body tells you exactly which way to go. Even if that is a different path than your environment would like. Let yourself be fed instead of drained. Perhaps this poem I made will give you strength:

Tune in to all the others
You’ll never do that
Stop changing for them
You live your life
Those who really matter
Will give you space

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