What is the opposite of love? The first thing that might come to mind is “hate” or “anger”. But how about “resistance”? Resistance to what is. That you would actually like something different. The same goes for self-love; resistance to what is within you. Suppressing your fear, anger, sadness, frustration… Suppressing these emotions can eventually lead to suppression of your immune system.
Unconsciously, many of us separate our head from our body. A lady recently came to my office in her early sixties. When asked exactly what she felt in her body, she replied: “I’m actually never that concerned with what I feel”… As if the body is just a vehicle that has to do what the driver, the head, asks of it. And if the vehicle falters, it must be fixed. Preferably as soon as possible.
Body and mind are inextricably linked
Head and body are inseparable. We can describe it separately: the brain, stomach and intestines, heart and blood vessels, hormone system, immune system, emotional system… But it is all connected. The head communicates with the gut through the nervous system, hormones and blood cells communicate with each other through chemical processes. Emotions also have an effect on the body. The moment you start your dream job, you will go to work with a lot of energy and enthusiasm. But when you no longer enjoy your work, you have less energy.
How does our emotional system work? When we like someone, we will embrace that person. We will allow him or her. The same applies to certain situations. We will seek out the places and circumstances where we feel comfortable. Those who don’t respect us and where we don’t feel comfortable, we tend to avoid. We prefer not to come into contact with that. In short: we let in what is good or feels good. We exclude what is bad for us.
When does this lead to disease? What happens if you keep suppressing what is really good for you? If you keep doing that every day that actually doesn’t feel right? When there is always something different than you would like, it creates tension. The body can handle a short period of tension. Stress hormones are activated as adrenaline and cortisol. Your breathing speeds up, your heart rate goes up, your muscle tension increases. Ready to flee or fight.
But if this continues for a longer period of time, it will work against you : high blood pressure, palpitations, muscle complaints, reduced functioning of your immune system. Then not only does a virus have an earlier chance of striking, but complaints can also arise as a result of, for example, thyroid disorders, rheumatism, gastrointestinal problems and diabetes.
Choose from desire
Just to be clear, no one is to blame here. You are not “guilty” of your own illness. This is an unconscious process that often has its origin in the fear of losing the connection. The connection with those people and circumstances on which we feel and have often made ourselves dependent. When our desire indicates that we actually want something different, we may suppress these feelings for fear of losing. That inevitably leads to resistance. Your own resistance undermines your immune system.
Here too, the solution lies in learning to choose again from your desire instead of from fear . And learn to guide yourself in the difficulties you encounter.