Take a good look inside yourself. Is there even the slightest trace of annoyance or reluctance? If so, observe that on the mental and emotional levels. What kind of thoughts does the mind produce about this situation? Then look at the emotion, which is the reaction of the body to those thoughts. Feel the emotion. Does it feel pleasant or unpleasant? Is it an energy that you would really choose to allow into your inner self? Do you actually have a choice?
You are responsible for your inner space
Maybe someone is taking advantage of you, maybe the activity you’re doing is really annoying, maybe someone around you is really dishonest, annoying or unconscious, but none of that matters. It doesn’t matter whether your thoughts and emotions about this situation are justified or not.
It is a fact that you resist what is. You make the present moment an enemy. You create unhappiness, and conflict between inside and outside. And your unhappiness pollutes not only your own inner being and the people around you, but also the entire human psyche of which you are an integral part. The pollution of the planet is but the outward reflection of inner psychic pollution:
Say what you feel
Stop what you’re doing, talk to the person you’re talking about and say exactly what you’re feeling, or stop that negativity that your mind has created around this situation that serves no other purpose than to reinforce a false sense of self. It is important that you see its futility. Negativity is never the best way to handle a situation. On the contrary, in most cases you will be stuck because of this and the negativity will hold back real change. Everything you do with negative energy becomes contaminated by it and in time leads to more pain, and more unhappiness.
Furthermore, any negative inner state is contagious: unhappiness spreads faster than a physical illness. By the law of resonance, it stimulates and amplifies the latent negativity in others, unless they are immune, that is, very consciously. Are you polluting the world or cleaning up the mess? You are responsible for your inner space, you and no one else, just as you are responsible for the planet. As inside, so outside: when people clean up the pollution inside, they also stop the external pollution.
How can we let go of negativity, as you suggest?
By letting her go. How do you let go of a glowing ember that you hold in your hand? How do you let go of heavy and useless luggage that you are carrying around?
By realizing that you don’t want to feel the pain anymore or don’t want to carry the weight anymore and let it go. Deep unconsciousness, such as the pain body, or other deep pain, such as the loss of a loved one, usually has to be converted through a combination of acceptance and the light of your presence—your uninterrupted attention.
Many patterns in the ordinary unconscious, on the other hand, are easy to let go of when you know that you don’t want them anymore and don’t need them anymore, once you know that you have a choice, that you are not just a bundle of conditioned reflexes. All of this implies that you have access to the power of the Now. Without that access, you have no choice.
But when you call certain emotions negative, aren’t you saying that they shouldn’t be there, that it’s not good to have those emotions?
My view is that you should allow yourself all the emotions that come to you instead of judging them as bad or saying you shouldn’t have them.
It’s okay if you feel resentment, it’s okay if you’re angry, annoyed, moody or whatever – otherwise you’ll just suppress it and get inner conflict or denial. Everything is fine as it is.
Of course. Once a thought pattern, emotion, or reaction is there, you must accept it. You were not conscious enough to choose. That is not a judgment but a fact. If you could have chosen or realized you can choose, would you choose suffering or joy, comfortable or ill at ease, peace or conflict? Would you choose a thought or feeling that cuts you off from your natural state of well-being, the zest for life deep within?
All such feelings I call negative, which simply means the same as bad. Not bad in the sense that “you shouldn’t have done that,” but just bad as a fact, like when your stomach hurts. How is it possible that humans killed more than a hundred million people in the twentieth century alone? That people hurt each other on such a large scale is beyond imagination.
Not to mention the mental, emotional and physical violence, torture, pain and cruelty they continue to inflict on each other and other sentient beings on a daily basis. Do they behave this way because they are in touch with their natural state, the joy of life within them? Of course not. Only people in a very negative state, who feel very bad, can create such a reality as a reflection of how they feel. Now they are destroying nature and the planet that feeds them. It’s unbelievable but true.
Humans are a dangerously insane and very sick species. That’s not a judgment, I’m just stating a fact. It is also a fact that beneath that insanity there is indeed sanity. Healing and redemption are available at this time. To come back to what you said, it is absolutely true that if you accept your annoyance, moodiness, anger, etc., you are no longer forced to live them out blindly. It also makes it less likely that you project them onto other people.
But I wonder if you’re not kidding yourself. If you, like you, have practiced acceptance for a while, there comes a time when you have to move on to the next stage, when those negative emotions no longer arise. If you don’t, your “acceptance” just becomes a mental label that allows your ego to continue to indulge in unhappiness and reinforce the sense of being cut off from other people, your environment, and the here-and-now. As you know, the sense of being cut off is the basis of the ego’s sense of identity.
Real acceptance would immediately transmute such feelings. And if you really know deep down that everything, as you say, is ‘good’, and which is of course true, why would you still have negative feelings at all? If you don’t judge and resist what is, such feelings don’t occur to you at all. You have the idea in your head that ‘everything is fine, but deep down you don’t really believe it, so the old mental-emotional resistance patterns are still there. And that makes you feel bad.
That’s fine too
Are you now standing up for your right to be unconscious, your right to suffer? Don’t worry, nobody can take that away from you. If you realize that certain foods make you nauseous, would you continue to eat them and insist that it’s okay to be nauseous?