How do you give up the fight if you don’t know any better? If all you had to do was survive? Surviving in a world that has been unfair to you and taught you the tough lessons. A life that you would like to see differently, but because the lessons are or were so heavy, you could not get this clear. The pain that overshadows everything and makes you no longer see things clearly. You have the feeling that you are on your own and at times you can barely keep your head above water.
Sometimes you don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore, because you are overpowered by the dark. The dark we fight so hard against because we want to see the light so badly. But how do you do that when all you have to do is fight? How do you get out of that vicious circle of “misery” and the black hole?
Feel the pain
Something we don’t want to do all this time and that we literally run from is the pain. Not necessarily because we want it of ourselves, but because we have to. We have to survive to be able to continue in this hard world, where everyone has started living for themselves and people have a hard time daring to be open and vulnerable.
This has not happened consciously, this has grown into it. Because of the society in which we live, the work we do, the education we have received from parents, in schools, and so on. The foundation of this society is built in such a way that you can have no feeling and have to go on with your life. That you have to fight for yourself and what you stand for.
We have become slaves to the system and have lost the connection with our true selves. As a result, we no longer know how and what to do if a ‘drama’ occurs. We no longer know how we should and may feel the pain and immediately continue fighting and therefore continue in survival mode. We can’t feel the pain, because we have to move on! After all, that’s what we’re expected to do because otherwise you’re weak and you won’t make it in this world, right?
Is that true? If you look deep inside and above all ‘feel’, you know that you want things differently. You just don’t remember how or you never learned how. Feeling the pain is not fun, but it is essential to see the light again and get out of your survival mode. Recognizing it’s there and not going into resistance: resistance only creates more of what you don’t want.
So if you go against your drama or pain, you are only creating more of it. While allowing all the feelings you get in life, good or ‘bad’, can actually help you. I put bad in quotes because that’s just something we’ve labeled ‘bad’. Those parts that you push away just like that also belong to you. Those parts you don’t want to feel are also part of life. Only if you put everything away like that will you not want to acknowledge those parts of yourself. And with that, you don’t fully accept yourself either.
Love for yourself
It is important that you learn to love yourself again in the whole process. That you open your heart again to all that is. For happiness and sadness, because it all belongs to you and makes you the beautiful person you are. Everyone just wants to experience happiness, without feeling the pain. While that pain is also part of life and makes you who you are now. The pain that gives you those beautiful lessons and helps you grow and gives you air again if you have allowed that pain.
Out of love for yourself you can feel what you feel, at any time. Regardless of what anyone else or yourself thinks of it because it is your reality at that moment. You cannot push your reality away at that moment and pretend it is not there. You can’t always play in nice weather, because deep down it isn’t. Then you better have a bad day, right? And then it’s okay to feel bad, angry, sad, or frustrated, is it? Why is that bad? Why do we label it bad?
We can really be angry, you know: because underneath that anger is sadness and if you never allow that anger, the sadness can never come out. And then you are not kind to yourself, and you want to go there. Because if you are kind to yourself, you will also allow those parts that you actually do not want to feel. This will also bring you back to your happiness. That’s the way it is in life: that you can and may live on both sides. Only in this way can there be more balance in your life and in this way you learn to play with the emotions and energies in life.
Choose for yourself
So take those steps to treat yourself in a loving way and allow those things you’ve always struggled with. Get out of survival and start living again. Allow yourself and your feelings and just let yourself be. Because you are good the way you are! You are good in all forms and facets because it is what it is.
Stop fighting! Everyone has good and bad sides, you just have to learn to deal with them better. Learn to accept that part of yourself. The world was not made to be perfect. The strength lies in accepting the imperfection of yourself and your life. To embrace all there is, get to know yourself, and create that balance that you long for.
Be kind to yourself! Step by step, layer by layer, day by day, and it just keep getting better. You are a beautiful person and you should realize that. Everyone has their imperfections, only we have labeled them as good or not. We can stop doing that and finally choose for ourselves. Everything is good, you are good and everything will always be fine. Have faith in yourself and in your abilities, because this will also make you stronger and here too you will only become a more beautiful person if you are willing to see it. Namaste.