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Going beyond… about Indigo being “stuck”

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So many of you write to me about you indigos, locked in life, without work, interest in schooling, romantic life and still living at home. We know that this is a typical behavior of Indigos (especially young men) because life can overwhelm them and prevent them from keeping work and finishing what they start.

After a few false starts, their natural lack of confidence takes over. This makes them believe that they are not good at anything. After this they are stuck and often you as a parent are stuck with them because you have to protect your child and not let them down and evict them.

We have used the label “indigo” for many years and it has helped create an expectation regarding certain behaviors of these children. Are they doing what we expect them to do and because we are holding that energy and not being able to do anything else? It is a difficult situation and difficult to know how we can attribute this.

How can we raise them to a higher standard and prevent them from feeling disappointed and also let them know that we believe in their skills and want them to act upon them? How can we take them beyond the indigo label and what it means to us and let our children experience this energy without limits?

This phase where indigos are in is very tough for them and for us. The longer they are stuck, the harder it is for them to find the energy to move on. And the more we offer them a safe place to get stuck in, the less easily they will move on. When they get into the energy of depression, it takes a lot to get them out. So what do we do?

An important area to address is to consider what energy you hold for them. Do you believe in their strengths or weaknesses? Are you willing to accept their apologies or can you see past their fears and give them the energy of success?

Many of our indigo children have struggled and we want to help them by providing support. But our support can often be confused with tolerance for their choice to stay in the safe, even when they are unhappy. We can be tough and supportive, giving them deadlines for achievement and supporting them emotionally to get them started.

This can include finding a career or interest and taking the first steps with them together. But they need to know that we let them go and they themselves have the strength to live their lives without us holding their hand.

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