From shame to self-love: this is how you get rid of feelings of shame in 4 steps

From shame to self-love: this is how you get rid of feelings of shame in 4 steps
It’s something we rarely talk about, while we all suffer from it: shame… This article shares a 4-step plan with which you can free yourself from this painful emotion. “As soon as we judge a feeling, it ‘sticks’ to us. It is therefore essential to fully experience and accept shame.”

Love, peace and fun have a high frequency: 500 to 700 hertz. Shame resonates at the lowest frequency, 50 to 20 hertz.

The lowest energetic frequency

Do you struggle with feelings of shame? Shame is a painful and unpleasant emotion. When you feel ashamed, you feel that something is wrong with you. It also often goes hand in hand with fear. We experience the fear of being rejected.

Every feeling, including shame, has an energetic frequency, or vibrational speed. Feelings are an expression of energy and energy vibrates at a certain height. These vibrations are denoted by the unit hertz. Love, peace, and fun have a high frequency (500 to 700 hertz). In contrast, shame resonates at the lowest frequency: 50 to 20 hertz. Like-minded energies attract each other. As soon as you experience feelings with a high frequency, you attract this positive energy like a magnet and vice versa. Now that you know this, it’s even more important to deal with shame in a constructive way.

Beliefs from your childhood

When you experience shame, you disapprove of something in yourself or the other. Shame goes hand in hand with limiting beliefs you have about yourself. Negative ideas that there is something wrong with you. Shame is also linked to the norms we were given as children. We initially learn from our parents that we have to behave in a certain way in order to be accepted. Then we are taught norms and rules by other family members, school, associations, etc. We learn what is desirable and what is not and how we ‘should’ behave. As soon as our way of doing things deviates, shame often sets in.

What do you want to hide?

From shame to self-love: this is how you get rid of feelings of shame in 4 steps

You can experience shame in different areas. You can be ashamed of a mistake you made. You can also feel ashamed because you eat too much or suffer from an addiction. You may also be ashamed of certain character traits such as jealousy, aggression, selfishness, or stinginess. And finally, you can be ashamed of someone else, such as your mother, father, partner, or child. Whatever it is that you are ashamed of, the feeling is the same for everyone. Shame makes us want to keep something hidden. The red blush on our cheeks or the red spots on our necks often betrays our feelings.

Don’t push away but experience

Feelings are dynamic. That’s what makes life so interesting and exciting. We prefer to constantly experience a high energy frequency, with pleasant feelings. That’s not how we humans are put together. We can go through a wide range of emotions, sometimes they are pleasant emotions and sometimes they are less pleasant. Emotions are energy and energy is in motion.

You don’t have to push or hold onto the feeling of shame. You can just experience it and be present. Open yourself to the shame. If you are completely open to it, the feeling will let you go and there will be room for new, positive feelings.

Exercise: from shame to self-love in 4 steps

This exercise helps you to lovingly let your feelings of shame disappear.

From shame to self-love: this is how you get rid of feelings of shame in 4 steps

1. Name what you feel

It is very important to name what you feel: ‘I am ashamed of… and that feels bad.’ By nature we want to get away from unpleasant emotions, we resist the experience. We judge the emotion or want to control or manipulate it. Once we do this, the emotion ‘sticks’ to us. It is therefore essential to fully experience and accept shame.

This can be a big challenge because we often haven’t learned to actually feel and experience emotions. For example, feelings such as shame can be circumvented by taking antidepressants, exercising, watching Netflix, etc. Calling the emotion by name reduces its intensity. It immediately gives you a subtle sense of relief.

2. Allow yourself to have this experience

This step is about dwelling on the feeling of shame. You can experience this in your body: where exactly do you feel the sensation? The feeling sometimes makes us want to make ourselves smaller. We prefer to be invisible.

3. Say Yes to yourself and the emotion

Once you understand where the shame is felt, you can do the following. Close your eyes and go with all your attention to the place where you feel your emotion. In this way you open yourself to the feeling and say Yes to yourself and your emotion. Saying yes to yourself also means accepting and accepting yourself completely as you are. If you actually dare to open up to your shame, it becomes soft and friendly.

4. Kindly give yourself understanding

We often want others to understand us, but understanding ourselves heals us the most. It is an act of love. Understand your sense of shame and you will notice that you will experience more love for yourself.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here