As a child, I was always in awe of these noble animals. To me, they were grand, certainly beautiful, and immensely powerful. I found them especially impressive. I would prefer to stay as far away from it as possible. At an appropriate distance, I followed the graceful movements with full admiration and felt a deep respect for these sensitive animals. How they mirrored me and I had no idea. Over the years I realized that I came into contact with horses more and more. At the time, my father-in-law was active as a volunteer at a riding school where horse therapy was given.
I moved to a village where horses were kept in several pastures. Someone came into my life who worked in the mounted police and more and more people around me had a special bond with horses in one way or another. I myself became more and more attracted to the beauty of this animal and collected photos on a bulletin board, regularly visited the horses here in the village during my walks, and everywhere I went horses seemed to be surprisingly present. It was obvious and I still didn’t get the message.
Deep connection with the power of animal
In the meantime, something special was happening. Step by step. As I got more and more eye for it, the horse galloped lovingly into my life. During the many restless nights, the horse often visited. Always loving and patient. Inviting. And the day came when I let loose the reins. We grew closer. To trust. That was the message. In this way, I approached and learned to trust. A close bond was formed. A connection that I could not experience before and encouraged me to walk.
Then I knew; the horse has more to tell me. It was on December 13, 2013, that I wrote the following: “Every ending has a new beginning; The past year has many times contained great farewells and unexpected welcomes for me. It taught me to detach, observe and be even more deeply. The new year is all about horses. This power animal has found me several times for which I am deeply grateful. One of Paard’s most important messages has become very clear to me: Keep walking, always keep walking… I thank those who walked with me over the past year, you are all beautiful and sincere! And I wish everyone a nice journey in the coming year.”
Encounter with a powerful animal
And I proceeded. My feet took me to the wonderful place where I would physically meet my power animal. The horse is going to help me heal I knew. I feel grateful for all the helpers on my path that I have experienced so lovingly and devotedly. Even now. I am warmly welcomed by the woman I have not met before and already know. Because of the contact via social media, which we have had for a number of years, it feels so familiar.
It is recognition that we feel. We see it in each other’s eyes and feel it with our hearts. The heart that is so broken and so in need of healing. And that’s what Angelic from Angelic Insights | Practice Manipura does; giving healing sessions with and for horses.
I can surrender myself to her and her beautiful Andalusian horse Cariño. How appropriate this name which means “sweetheart” in Spanish. All old feelings towards horses immediately float to the surface and of course, Cariño reacts immediately. He walks away. Bright. Clear. Those are the messages from horses always. Patiently Angelic gives me directions and explains what is being mirrored. Surrender, I want nothing more.
The tensions build up in my tired body and make my jaws and muscles tighten even more. I don’t have to say anything; Angelic feels the almost unbearable cramps in her jaws and Cariño’s teeth make imperturbable circular movements. “Keep your jaws tight no matter what!” It is not necessary here.
I can tell Cariño everything. He already knows and listens anyway. I approach and touch him. heart connection. So soft, so tender. I inhale his blissful scent deeply and feel the soul connection. Then put my hand on his heart chakra and feel recognition. Recognition. Everything may be there. Tears flow. I’m afraid; afraid to live, afraid to die. It may finally be here. I may be there.
In Angelic’s strong embrace that follows, I feel huge. For a moment I think that it will become too much for her, that slender body of hers that seems so fragile and yet envelops me so tightly. And then I let it go again, it may be there. I listen to her breath. It seems so unreal; how is it possible that such a powerful primal sound can arise from such a slender woman? Then I let go of that thought. It calms me, the deep soothing rhythmic sound of her breath. Deep, deep sighs.
It is the sound of her breathing that reminds me of the lifestream of a powerful old Oak. Deep-rooted. grounded. And the embrace makes me feel completely embraced by this tree. She is that tree. Safe. It’s as if she wants me to feel that it exists and what that feels like. Safe on this earth. An old wise strong tree can always rely on its roots. The infinitely powerful life energy that can start flowing again. That wants to flow. It is my first session and together we make a follow-up appointment afterward. The second session has already taken place. I would like to write about that special experience next time.
It has been an impressive experience that will have a deep after effect on me in the weeks that follow. And Carino? He’s with me. He comes to visit me at night. When necessary, when I ask. When it’s so dark and the fear so paralyzing, there he is. All the time. I invite him, I welcome him.
It is late at night and I am bathed in fear sweat, shivering from the cold. I connect to his heart chakra. I see him before me, his eyes meet mine and I carefully place my hands behind his back. I can smell his sweet-smelling skin, his mane slipping through my fingers. A warm, comforting feeling spreads over my entire body. From the meadow, in the distance, I hear the deep sounds of neighing horses in the darkness…