I have known intense fears for years. Fear turned into panic and I could barely go out for a year. the fear paralyzed me so that all I could do was lie in bed and try to survive. The fears and panic continued to dominate my life for more than three years. I was desperate at times because I couldn’t deal with it.
Many times the panic was stronger than myself, which even led to me taking too many medicines several times, resulting in hospitalizations. As a therapist, I knew it was about accepting and facing your fears. Look the dragon in the eye as it is said in Buddhism. Easier said than done when the fears are so strong and deep.
Because of my high sensitivity and spiritual attunement I experienced everything much more intensely than the average person. I learned that certain fears are much deeper than others. The fears associated with being here on Earth were the strongest. When I went in and tuned in to the fear, I experienced a fear greater than anyone else. You can call it fear of existence.
I want to become it more precisely. When you come to earth as a baby, you are still connected to a very rarefied atmosphere. A sphere of love where you come from. An atmosphere with which you are deeply connected. We all know the endearment and feeling of awe and wonder when we hold a newborn baby in our arms.Still completely in itself and enveloped by a quiet and serene atmosphere.
Mothers who have experienced their pregnancy consciously are also drawn to that serene and sacred atmosphere. However, the earth and the people around us are not so refined and thinly tuned, which causes a disturbance early on and that creates fear in the very young baby. I myself call that spiritual fear because that fear is still closely linked to the spiritual world.
In my years of experiencing fear and panic, I got to know that mental fear better and better and also learned to tune in to it. You may recognize the shock when you have to deal with people who are rude or when you have to deal with violence. That fear can strike deep inside.
This fear touches on spiritual fear. The tension you experience when you are with people who are not as sensitive as you are also related to the fear of that very young baby. That baby still lives in you and me and reacts to your environment.
Many people who are highly sensitive are easily disturbed and overstimulated, feel insecure and start to doubt themselves. They are often unaware of the fear associated with the spirit world. They try everything not to have to feel that fear or shield themselves by means of visualizations.
I’ve done all that too. Have known periods in which I spent a lot of time in the spiritual world. Now realize that it was a way of surviving and feeling my fears that were still unconscious at the time.
What has helped me to deal with my fears and panic is the realization that there are different fears. The fear of the vulnerable boy or girl is very different from the fear of a very young baby. It’s about learning both the fear of the child and the baby in you embrace and connect with it.
That is only possible if there is a distinction between you and the fear. There is awareness and there is an adult who approaches the child or baby in a gentle and tender way. From love and understanding. You really try to empathize with the fears that exist and gradually an ever deeper understanding and insight arise.
This allows you to be with your fears and also to experience their deeper spiritual meaning.Fear does not have to go away and is not, as is often said, a bad counselor. It brings you closer to yourself.
Acceptance is therefore a condition. And help is essential. Someone who helps to support you in periods when the fear is too great and too heavy. So that you can learn step by step to bear your fear. Gradually, a transformation takes place. The adult in you learns to be loving to your fears so that there is room for light and love.