1. Situations where you have to process a lot of sensory stimuli
These are situations in which you have to process an abundance of sensory impressions, such as a lot of noise, bright lights, and possibly in combination with people around you. Examples are people around you at work, at the Saturday market in the city, or on the train or bus.
The downside of these situations is that sometimes you can’t avoid them. The advantage is that you can learn to lose less energy!
Tip: keep your focus on yourself
Try to keep some of your attention to yourself, instead of focusing entirely on everything that’s going on around you.
You can use your body or your breathing as an anchor. Bring your attention there and let everything else around you just be there. Let it flow through you, as it were. You don’t need it. You don’t have to hold it and you don’t have to change it. You are with what is.
Whenever you feel overwhelmed, go back to your breathing or the awareness of your body. Every time that is your center, your point of rest.
2. Worrying about what others think of you
Another kind of energy leak occurs when you worry about what others think of you. Even then you go out with your attention and energy, to the other person. As a result, you lose the connection with your own center and your energy.
In addition, the thoughts and worries can cause physical and/or emotional tension, so the energy loss can go twice as fast.
If this bothers you, you can remind yourself that:
- what you think others think of you is often a judgment you make of yourself. If you accept yourself more and more, it is less important what others think of you and you can experience more relaxation in your contact with others;
- you have virtually no influence on what others think of you because everyone reacts from their own history, patterns, beliefs, fears, and emotions;
- whatever you do, there will always be people who love it and people who don’t like it at all. That too has to do with how the other person sees the world and much less with you than you might think.
3. Fighting against yourself and what you experience
When you fight against yourself and against what you feel or experience, you can quickly lose a lot of energy.
For example, if you are in a crowded place and get angry about the crowds around you, you will lose a lot more energy than if you are in a crowded place and accept that it is the way it is and that you feel what you feel. If you can look at yourself and what you feel with compassion, that already makes a big difference.
Even when you are angry at yourself for what you feel or angry at your sensitivity in general, you are fighting with yourself. And that takes a lot of energy.
Acceptance = supporting yourself instead of getting in the way
The solution to this is gentleness and gentleness towards yourself and all that is there. Also the frustration, the judgments, the anger, the fear, the feeling overwhelmed. The whole package. See if you can always take a step back in your perspective:
- try to accept what is there and what you experience
- if that doesn’t work: observe your judgments about the situation or yourself and look at those judgments with a mild eye
(as you would look at a small anxious child, with love, gentleness, and acceptance)
- if that doesn’t work, accept that accepting won’t work for a while!
That way you can support yourself instead of getting in the way and that gives you peace of mind. This is a process you can learn. It doesn’t happen overnight. There will be times when you will remember to be gentle with yourself and accept what is. There will also be times when you forget or simply don’t succeed. That’s part of the process. If you can also look at that with gentleness, you have come a long way!