Highly sensitive people have a great empathy, sense what is needed and what needs to be done. They are so focused on their environment that they often feel the needs and feelings of others better than their own. They also have a strong sense of responsibility, which makes them want to be there for others. They don’t seem to realize how often they are not there for themselves. However, this realization is of great importance because it offers the opportunity to work in a different way. It opens the eyes of highly sensitive persons (HSPs) to another life, in which they can fulfill the life task or mission.
Always wanting to do your best
How are most HSPs doing at work? Usually not so good. The unconscious highly sensitive person does their best, out of fear and feelings of emptiness and dependence. They also often feel that they are small and powerless. They quickly feel pressured, and they live from an idea of ’must’. This need is in themselves but is quickly touched by what others say or do. They are very sensitive to what others expect of them, even if these expectations are not even expressed. And out of their need to fulfill and do well, they set to work diligently.
HSPs can’t stand it when people tell them how to do their job or watch them closely. They have a great need for independence and autonomy, and want to be given the space to do their work in their own way. Preferably at their pace, because deadlines that others set can make them feel rushed. They usually get them, but don’t ask how! This (soul’s) need for autonomy is usually accompanied by a kind of contradictory sense of dependence. Somewhere in everyone there is also the need of the ego or inner child to gain approval and confirmation. This can lead to an inner struggle that undoubtedly also sometimes takes on an outer form, such as conflicts with others.
HSPs are sensitive to atmosphere and tensions
Tensions in the department, games people play, subcutaneous emotions and unspoken issues can go unnoticed by others; for the HSP they become unbearable after a while. Because they feel them. But what can they do with it? They don’t always know how to deal with the difference between what people say, for example in a conversation or in a meeting, and what they feel somewhere in their gut that is really alive or going on. So they shut up and are left with a knot in the stomach. Or they make a clumsy attempt to discuss the issue so that it appears to be their problem and nothing else changes.
No, the unconscious HSP at work is not something to cheer about. Just like the unconscious HSP itself usually doesn’t get really happy when they do their job in this way. It is therefore high time for a change in the Calimero attitude of the HSP. They get to see that they are a star, a versatile and powerful star, and behave as such. How can you as an HSP go through this development?
Quality of the HSP: tuning
The unconscious HSP is attuned to the environment and feels what is going on there. However, they are rarely (well) attuned to their own being, to their own feelings, ideas, desires and needs. As a result, they often do not know what they want or which way to go. Their direction is therefore regularly determined by others. The first phase in the development of the HSP is therefore the transition from being attuned to the ‘outside’ to become attuned to their own inner self. Attention should be directed ‘inwards’, so that contact can be made with ‘I feel’ and ‘I want.
However, development needs to go further. Precisely because the highly sensitive person feels and sees more than others, he or she has a task or responsibility to consciously deal with these abilities. In order not to get entangled in the ‘I’ and possible ego-needs that go with it, the HSP must attune himself to a higher power or wisdom. Focusing on this gives a sense of stability. By detaching from his or her own opinions and needs, he or she achieves a certain objectivity. He or she will know and do what is necessary.
On the way to fulfilling your life task
How can you achieve this attunement? Relaxation exercises, meditation, yoga and also prayer are good ways to turn the attention inward and to get in touch with that greater wisdom, life force, oneness or God. It is important that you focus your attention on a fixed point, for example your breathing, and not let your restless mind go in all directions. This brings you into a peace and quiet and an experience of peace and unconditional love.
HSPs have to face something in their development, starting with their Calimero attitude, which is sometimes very confronting. It seems that their lives are more difficult than many other people’s and that they carry more responsibility. As long as the HSP is unconscious and feels responsible for things that he or she is not, such as the happiness, feelings, and lives of others, this responsibility weighs more than necessary. If, on the other hand, the HSP only takes responsibility for what he or she feels and needs and to consciously deals with his intuitive abilities, then it never becomes too much for him.
Accept your otherness
The HSP feels different because he or she is different. Because of their intuitive gifts and their pure sense of responsibility, harmony, and justice, they stand differently in life and in the world than many people around them. This leads to an idea and feeling of being ‘less’ in the HSP and makes him or her very insecure. However, the opposite is true. The highly sensitive person is or does not have less, he or she has more, namely that better (developed) capacity for attunement to the higher, the true, and the pure.
What are the qualities of a highly sensitive person, and how do you discover your qualities?† In my experience, HSPs often have enormous creativity and versatility, and great imagination, and imagination. However, in a world that is (for the time being) very one-sidedly focused on ratio, order, and norms, this ability is not seen and valued. As long as the HSP continues to demand from the other that he or she sees him or her, confirms and values him or her in who he or she is, in all his (different) being, he or she will remain insecure.
The other cannot see the HSP as it is, on the one hand, because he or she does not have the necessary capabilities and on the other hand because the HSP does not show itself either. The point is that the HSP sees who he or she (really) is. He or she can achieve this by tuning in to his inner self and to the higher. They then come to see the truth, their true selves. Then they will also see the true (self) in others. Others no longer need to see and confirm him or her, he or she can now go and confirm others.
Tune in to the unit
If you see things in their true light and you begin to see what is needed in a given situation, then you can do the right thing. And this, in my view, is the most important task of the hsp. It is their life task to attune themselves to the unity or the divine and to do the right things from there, namely to inspire the world with its light, love, sensitivity, creativity and imagination. To bring change in the world.
It doesn’t really matter what kind of work he or she does and where and with whom. You can encounter HSPs in all kinds of disciplines or fields of work, it is important that they do work that suits them and that does justice to their qualities and desires. They must first recognize these, of course. For me it was a turning point in my career when I realized that I only wanted to work with people, as a career coach, and definitely no longer wanted to arrange and organize.
The right working environment for the HSP
In addition, HSPs should preferably do their work in an environment that suits their sensitive nature and that meets their need for autonomy. For example, I feel too constrained if I have to work at fixed times. In the large and impersonal office building of a ministry, where I worked for years, the stuffy atmosphere bothered me a lot. For me it is, therefore, necessary to work as a self-employed person so that I can organize my time myself and do my work in a workspace furnished to my taste in which I feel completely at home.
The HSP should create this environment himself, by coming out and standing up for what he or she feels and needs. With that, they take responsibility for themselves and then they are really over Calimero. Nothing or no one can then make them feel small or less. And even though they sometimes still feel fear of the unknown, they still take the step. Because they feel or know that it is the right step.
As Shiatsu therapist Annuska puts it: ”When I enthusiastically told a friend about my Shiatsu training, he asked why I didn’t start giving treatments yet. My excuse was that I didn’t have room yet, whereupon he said he knew a room for me. I went to have a look and it was quite exciting, but when I stepped over the threshold I knew ‘This is it! I can do this already and I will do it’. Everything was right, from the color of the room to the contact with the people there. I will never forget how much strength it gave me to stand up for what I can do.”
The job of an HSP: serving the world
When HSPs are attuned to a higher power, a determined “Thy will be done” guides them through life. They can then see the ‘ups and downs’ that go with it as an inseparable part of the development process they are in. It’s no longer good or bad what happens, it’s all experiences. Each consciously lived experience brings you to a higher level of consciousness. And that is the goal, the destination, of the hsp.
Becoming more and more aware, and lighter, stronger and more loving. So that they can serve the world with, among other things, their feeling, intuition, love and light, consciousness and attention, their creativity and their human orientation. In a world that focuses unilaterally on professionalism, efficiency and increasing profits and which is therefore becoming increasingly colder and more inhumane, this is also urgently needed.