How can you be less preoccupied with emotions and feelings?

How can you be less preoccupied with emotions and feelings?
Stress, worrying thoughts, anger, sadness… In your deepest core lies inner peace, but these emotions and feelings overshadow it. Buddhism speaks of the ‘Five hindrances’, namely desire, aversion, drowsiness/drowsiness, restlessness, and doubt. All our emotions of anxiety are part of these obstacles. For example, you may experience stress because you are restless and dread a difficult conversation. Or when you have to meet a deadline and it doesn’t seem to work: that makes you wish things were different and makes you restless.

How can you deal with emotions?

How can you handle this well? How can you make sure you are restless less often? And how can you be less preoccupied with these emotions?

1. Provide acceptance and loving attention

First of all, it is important to develop a good attitude towards emotions. Both the emotions that you like and the emotions that you, at the very least, experience as not pleasant. First of all, it is important to notice that there is an emotion and to ‘open up to it. When you want to get rid of emotion immediately, your resistance increases and you add fuel to the fire. Being with that which is, is therefore the core of meditation.

See the presence of unpleasant emotion, on the other hand, as an exercise to achieve a greater growth of consciousness. ‘No mud, no lotus’ is a phrase in Buddhism that refers to this. I can confirm this from my own experience and it applies to many people who have found (the) enlightenment. For example, Eckhart Tolle, was seriously depressed and even suicidal until his thirties, after which he was immediately Enlightened.

However, for most people the ‘ awakening ‘ does not happen overnight, it is a process. It takes practice and insight. This practice can be done with all emotions if we approach them with mild, loving attention.

2. Explore the emotions without identifying with them

How can you be less preoccupied with emotions and feelings?

By examining your emotions you can gain insight and achieve personal growth. Once you understand what triggers an emotion, you may be able to change the conditions for its occurrence in the future. If you understand how emotion works and if you can see through it, you can make the emotion less intense. If you then know which factors cause the emotion to disappear, it is possible in the future to make the emotion disappear more quickly.

If you really see through the emotions, it is possible to no longer identify with them. You can then release the identification with it.

As indicated are not obstacles, but in our deepest core, we are calm and joyful. This loving, clear consciousness is only temporarily overshadowed. Consider every emotion as an appearance that is separate from yourself. As it were, you look as a spectator from a distance at the phenomena that present themselves. You can also call these phenomena visitors. You don’t send these visitors away, but you acknowledge that they are there and you give them your loving attention. This is what is practiced with insight meditation (Vipassana). Insight into the nature of the phenomena that arise.

3. Develop further refinement and deepening

If you deal with that which presents itself in this way, you will notice that this is an ongoing process that deepens. Often the obvious insights come to light first, such as going to bed earlier to make the ‘drowsiness’ hurdle come up less often and less strongly. But as you gain more and more insight into the workings of your mind, this becomes much more refined.

You gain insight into the most subtle causes of stress and emotions. An example is the power of one thought. You know, you’ve been quiet, peaceful for hours or more. There’s nothing wrong with it until you suddenly think of a certain thing. One sentence leads to another and before you know it you are in a fierce storm.

Through regular reflection, you can develop more wisdom and compassion. You will see that the sun appears more and more from behind the clouds.



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