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How do you distinguish between a real and a ‘false’ guide?


Recently I had a consultation with someone who had been misled by a non-physical being who claimed to be her spiritual guide. The question is: how do you recognize such an impostor? And what are the chances of this happening to you if you try to connect with your guide?

In the ten years since the publication of my book Featherlight living and working with spiritual guides ,  I have been able to help many people to get in touch with their guide. Never did I hear about unpleasant experiences, although I knew of the existence of entities that can bother you. I always assumed that if your intentions are pure, you are psychologically healthy and not addicted, you are unlikely to have to deal with them. So it was the first time I encountered it.


The woman who came to me had, more or less by accident, got in touch with her ‘guide’ through commuting. Now this is a method that I used myself in the beginning, with good results, but my guides advised me against recommending it to others, because it is a reliable tool for few people for contacting their guide.

My client’s ‘guide’ came across as very reliable and helpful at first. Among other things, the woman used some sort of angel cards to communicate with him, and the answers she got in that way seemed very wise and appropriate. She wanted to develop further in a spiritual direction and he offered his help. He told her how special and special she was and how they would start guiding people together.

She got physical symptoms, which would show that she was being worked energetically to prepare her for this. In the beginning she saw this as proof that what her guide said was correct, but it got out of hand: she hardly slept anymore and started experiencing all kinds of pain.


Then she called me. She shared that she felt that this guide was using methods that she sometimes felt uncomfortable with. He also gave her assignments which she initially carried out without suspicion, but which gradually made her feel more and more uncomfortable.

I immediately felt wet when she told me this and the moment I suggested that she was being manipulated and a real guide would never do that, she was shocked and her suspicion that something was wrong after all was confirmed.

Guides like to stay in the background

I explained to her that the mark of a true guide is that he or she will never manipulate you, always leaves you free and at the most kindly makes proposals that you may or may not accept. the groceriesthe ones you get are always loving and supportive and a guide doesn’t need their ego stroked. He or she prefers to stay in the background and give you a gentle push in the right direction, or wise advice if you ask.

Guides also don’t care that you know what they look like or what their name is, although sometimes you should know that. Their methodology depends on how you deal with the contact: are you dependent on your guide(s), or are you strong enough to stand on your own two feet. Sometimes it is simply not the intention to have a more conscious contact with your guides, if you are still very shaky in your shoes, because then you would focus too much on them and lose yourself in the process.

Then your attempt to contact will not succeed because they do not cooperate.

Guides are good teachers

Guides are generally very good teachers and therapists and they have known you as a soul for so long, they know exactly what you need and what you can handle in terms of responsibility. In that sense, you can rely on them and let them guide you.

It’s about keeping the right balance between surrender and independence, or sometimes even stubbornness. The latter is better than uncritically following your guides, or even putting them on a pedestal. No one is served by that. It makes you vulnerable to entities that find it extremely interesting to pose as your guide.

If you do come into contact with such a being, you can say: “If you want to be a guide so much, first go to the light and develop further, so that when you are ready, you can learn for it. to go.” Because only when someone has worked out (almost) all his own issues, he can start fulfilling this task.

Guiding people on earth as a guide is one of the specialties that an advanced soul can choose and it is a very responsible task.

The difference between guide and companion

Now, in addition to guides, there are also other souls who are sometimes with you for a while as a guide. That could be deceased relatives who care about you, or members of your soul group who did not incarnate with you in this lifetime, but who do feel strongly connected to you. They have a different role and are themselves guided by your main guide, who keeps an eye on whether everything is going well.

Bad experience as a learning process

If your main guide is so attentive, how could the woman who came to me be so misled by a so-called guide? Shouldn’t he have saved her from that? The answer was simple: her guide made her go through this experience as a learning process, precisely because she is sensitive to these kinds of situations.

She appeared to have a tendency to throw herself into new experiences every now and then, being quite ambitious and sometimes not too critical. Qualities that can make you vulnerable to influence and temptation by people who are after power. They can also come your way in physical form. Fortunately, this woman’s intuition worked well enough that she quickly sensed danger and broke contact.

What does the contact do to you?

If you are looking for contact with your guide, it is important to feel very well what the contact does to you. Does it make you restless and insecure? Do you feel manipulated? Are you being made all kinds of promises that are too good to be true? Then be on your guard.

Real guides will make you feel that you can value yourself more than you do, they will strengthen your self-confidence and sometimes show you special qualities and possibilities that you are not or insufficiently aware of, but they are honest and do not flatter you. They also help you in a loving way to face your shadow sides. And sometimes it can indeed be the case that you notice that you are being worked energetically, but that should never harm you, on the contrary: it will do you good.

The valuable and enriching contact with your personal guide

How can my client best deal with the situation now? For the time being, she should better not contact her real guide and first learn to stay firmly in her own center and to ground well. She may need some expert help with that, possibly also to permanently remove this intruder from her energy field and send it into the light.

Only then can she enter into that contact without risk. Perhaps in the future, precisely because of this negative experience, she will be able, together with her guide, to help people who have gone through a situation similar to hers. In this way she could make a good contribution to the valuable and enormously enriching contact that people can have with their personal guide.


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