How do you get from chaos in your head to peace in your head?


For as long as I can remember, my head has been filled with many useless and repetitive thoughts. Not just thoughts about what I wanted to eat or what pants to wear, but mostly fearful or angry negative thoughts . If a difficult conversation lay ahead, a hundred different versions would have passed through my mind in the days leading up to the conversation. I rehearsed entire conversations in my head, to evaluate them all afterwards. How would it have been understood? Was it clear? Was I too smart? And so on…

Afraid of the judgment of others

Even after talking to friends or family, I afterwards doubted whether I had expressed myself correctly, whether I had reacted well and whether they were not annoyed about something. What did colleagues think about me and my work? Why didn’t I feel good enough in relationships?

At some point I began to see that this continuous flow of thoughts and feelings was costing me an enormous amount of energy. It caused me to sleep less well and that I never actually rested even in moments of relaxation. I felt the energy drain like a huge leak that was around my never still brain. And I wanted to do something about that at all costs.

Personal issues

I have devoured many books, some of which opened my eyes. I dutifully did all the exercises from the books by Eckhart Tolle and Esther and Jerry Hicks. These made an essential contribution to clarifying my thoughts. With these insights, I began to see that these were not simply meaningless thoughts.

These thoughts pointed the way to my underlying traumas and patterns. Like a puzzle, I began to trace the thoughts back and they brought me to my most important personal issue: the disappointment in relationships in which I felt myself unappreciated, not seen or limited in my options. In my mind, the cause of this always lay with the other person, because he or she did not appreciate me, did not compliment me, did not see me or limited my freedom.

Am I causing my own problems?

However, when I started to recreate these thoughts, I came to myself. Was it possible that I was causing my own problems? The fact that I didn’t feel free was actually not due to my partner, because I didn’t feel free without a partner either. And no matter how many compliments I would receive, I always managed to catch a comment that made me feel small and useless.

I once had a great need for recognition and to be seen, which I sought from partners, family and colleagues. To get that recognition I wanted to prove myself, but deep down I never felt good enough. As a result, for example, I was rarely satisfied with the results of my work. I got tired of this worrying and eventually I didn’t have the energy to prove myself.

I was able to bring this whole chaos of thoughts back to patterns of behavior and trauma. But how could I actually solve them?rest in your head

Befriending my subconscious

The solution came when I started working with the subconscious. Our subconscious directs our behavior, our thinking and our feelings. And vice versa, our thoughts and feelings tell what is in the subconscious. The subconscious may not be conscious, but it is constantly communicating with us through our thoughts and feelings.

The energy present in the subconscious has a certain vibration and attracts similar vibrations. This made me realize that because of the energy in my subconscious I was attracting certain people and situations to point out the presence of this energy. So that I could finally do something with this.

Through my training as a Shafierha therapist I learned to make contact with the subconscious through the heart chakra. By visualizing this vibration of, for example, recognition, by applying forgiveness, the energy could be increased in terms of vibration. Eventually I was able to remove the need for recognition from my subconscious through the heart chakra. That subsequently influenced my thoughts on this theme. I was less concerned about what others thought of something or of me. This process of removal continued until I was no longer triggered and released this particular vibration of recognition.

All kinds of themes around self-love, sadness or my deep-seated insecurity – I found them all back in my subconscious and cleared them through the heart chakra. And the clearer my subconscious became, the calmer my mind. Until I finally came to the conclusion that my head had actually gone quiet.

Rest in my head

This made it possible to meditate, which previously gave me headaches rather than soothing. Also the conversations with my inner counselors and spiritual guides became more and more pure. The polluting energies of doubt and recurring thoughts used to work like noise on the line. The frequencies were now more and more aligned, my energy came back completely into my body and I finally felt grounded and completely balanced.

In retrospect, I am very grateful for my crazy thoughts and feelings. For they have been the signposts to my interior. Even in situations where I felt I was being treated unfairly, I was able to see that I am responsible for how I feel about this situation. And if I’m responsible for that, I can fix it too. Our subconscious and our body give us so many wonderful signals, unfortunately sometimes through pain in the body or crazy thoughts. However, if we start to listen and act on these signals, we can eventually achieve an energetic body and stillness in our head.


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