Self-awareness is beautiful, but it can also get in the way if you constantly scrutinize yourself or criticize yourself a lot.
Talking to ‘yourself’
Throughout the day I have the necessary conversations with my ‘selves’. Just out loud while I fold the laundry or wash out the kitchen cabinets. I laugh, raise my voice, and answer questions I silently asked myself. I can imagine that if someone else would see me this way, it would come across as strange. But it’s not that strange. We all talk to ourselves all day long, in our constant stream of thoughts.
The inner critic
I am aware of my thoughts, perceive a lot, feel everything and reflect on it. Tiresome indeed, at times… Over the years I learned to add a spectator to the motley crowd in my head. A kind of mediator who listens without judgment to what is said. This friendly listener has humor, is mild and puts the situation into perspective if I take myself too seriously or threaten to get lost in my thoughts. He makes sure that I don’t completely coincide with my thoughts and feelings.
Self-awareness is beautiful, but it can also get in the way if you constantly scrutinize yourself or criticize yourself a lot. Of all the selves in you, the inner critic (sometimes disguised as the perfectionist) is often noisy. Subversive statements that torment you are, for example:
‘ How stupid of me . †
‘ I am not doing that right . †
‘ I’m always like that …’
‘ I must stop with …’
‘ Can’t I do that now ?! †
‘ I am falling short. †
‘ I feel so … ‘
How do you stop self-criticism? Exercise in self-acceptance
They are all expressions of criticism of things you do, think, or feel. You constantly beat yourself up. Basically, this self-torture stems from a lack of self-love and self-esteem. You judge yourself. Why? Stop that and be kind to yourself. You are a good person. Feeling or feeling love and appreciation for yourself is the basis for self-acceptance.
How do you stop self-criticism? By accepting all self-critical thoughts and feelings that they are there. How? If you observe debilitating thoughts and feelings, listen and then say to yourself, “Yes, of course!” Speak to yourself as a kind parent or loving friend who says to you, “Yes, of course, you think that, do you do this, do you experience this, do you feel this…”
A good tip
I did not come up with this myself, it is one of the spiritual lessons from the book Helen with the Akashic Records by Linda HoweIt may sound too simple, but it isn’t. It is a profound spiritual practice in self-acceptance. It gives a lot of peace and space when you address yourself in this way. I highly recommend this book if you suffer from self-criticism. Even if you only manage to speak to yourself lovingly once in the coming week… Experience what it does to you.