Holding on to the known
Apparently, we prefer to cling to the known, however oppressive it may be than to take the plunge into the unknown. And we continue to hope, against our better judgment, that that which was once so beautiful, can come back with enough effort. But if you’ve already tried everything and nothing seems to work, why not recognize that it’s time for something new? Why not free yourself from all that inner tension, the eternal doubting, that constant struggle? Why not be grateful for what the past has given you, cherish the beautiful memories, and make way for something bigger that awaits you?
We are so afraid of the unknown,
of disappointment, of failure and disapproval.
We are so scared. So afraid of the unknown, of disappointment, of failure and disapproval. We dare not follow our inner call for freedom and we stand frozen on the border between the known and unknown. We lose our liveliness for fear of loneliness, which has long since crept into our hearts.
The border area between old and new
How well do I know that borderline between old and new? The place where my head works overtime with thoughts about staying or going. Fight or flight. As if there were only those two options. On the one hand keep doing my very best, against all natural movements, or on the other hand, let go completely and ‘disappear’. Both options turn out to be unsatisfactory. Whether it’s about work, relationships, or my place of residence. Fighting is exhausting, fleeing especially sad.
If I keep my attention focused on what I no longer want, the lack, the pain, the frustration, the powerlessness, the emptiness, then I keep myself trapped and frozen. Cramped in my own resistance. If I take the time for silence and reflection and if I make room to feel what my soul deeply desires, then there is no longer any doubt and only a clear knowledge remains.
When the new suddenly appears,
it is always bigger, more spacious, richer than before
Even if the contours of the new are not yet clear and I threaten to land in an unknown void, there is still full confidence that something better awaits me. New possibilities, new opportunities, space, air, and above all: relaxation. Sometimes that unknown space is just for resting and licking my wounds. To first see and feel the pain of loss, to strengthen my strength and foundation, before I can open myself to the change that awaits me. And when the new suddenly appears, it is always bigger, more spacious, richer than before. And exactly right for that moment and that specific phase in my life.
Wise Lesson from Gautama the Buddha
Gautama the Buddha taught us: ‘Be your own light’. Precisely and especially at the moments when we are in danger of getting stuck and unhappy, we need our own inner light to make our way through life. Endure your need for approval from family, friends, or colleagues, and follow the truth you feel deep inside. Only you know what is good for you and what your soul desires of you.
If there is one wish I want to give you, so on the edge of the old and new year and around the days of Christmas, it is the Buddha’s: make contact with your soul and be your own light. Follow your deepest desire and look forward to the news that awaits you.