My father was quite an introverted man. He loved to read for hours, always had several books around him, because he too, I see now, was associating. So, for example, while reading, he looked up the history of a certain event. He was also fond of music, in addition to his huge book collection, he also had an extensive music collection, from blues and rock to classical.Now that I’m grown up and have kids myself, I can imagine how he wanted to lose himself in music, without his children complaining about ‘that stupid classical music’ or ‘those annoying blues’, as my children sometimes complain about my favorite music.
I also see now how incredibly intelligent my father was and understand his tendency to dive into his own world, to be able to follow his own thoughts. So while I always loved my father, I now look with much more compassion at the moments when he was not so patient with us.
But what about compassion for myself?
I often have much less compassion for myself. If I lose my temper, I get mad at myself. I actually think that I should always be kind to my children, no matter the situation. So if I have to tell them to put their shoes on for the fifth time and it comes out way harder than I want to, I don’t think that’s okay with myself. Of course I’m still in the middle of it at that point. Looking at something from the past with compassion seems much easier.
I do have compassion for the fact that I once let it get to the point where I got burned out. Of course I now also see that I have learned a lot from it, but anyway I can look with love at that frightened bird that no longer manages in the crowds and stress she was in at that moment.Therefore, I can now write about it without charge. From strength, love and compassion.
Share your story from compassion
The moment you can feel compassion for yourself, or others, in your story, you can also talk or write about it more easily. Your story becomes more loving and powerful. For example, if you have had depression and can look lovingly at the person who could no longer see the light. Or if you were in a relationship where you were treated badly and can look gently at the woman (or man) who allowed himself to be treated that way.
It remained ‘sorry’ after the first and also after the second and third. Then perhaps you can now also see how powerful that person was who eventually found himself and walked away, or picked himself up. The person you have become.
You are not your past, you are your NOW
That you are no longer who you were then is admirable and you can see that. You can see how far you’ve come. You can be proud of who you have become. You can share that you are. You can show yourself. By sharing your story, you can help others too. Not to relive it, but to see who you were then, to accept who you were then and to show who you are now.
To show who you can become, what you can achieve. Show yourself and others how you are healed. So be compassionate for who you were and be proud of who you are now. You were allowed to be there and you may be there, exactly as you were and exactly as you are!