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I miss you! How do you deal vigorously with your heart’s desire?

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I miss you and it doesn’t stop! He or she is not with you and that hurts. What would you give to see your family member who has passed away or lives at a distance? Maybe a loved one you’re not done with. Even someone who is with you can evoke a loss. It is a tough lesson that we as humans are confronted with. What actually happens to you when you long so deeply for someone else?

What desire does

A healthy desire makes you realize how much you care about someone. This is useful from a biological point of view, people are social beings and through attachment we increase our chance of survival. Yet that explanation is of little use when your longing for another is strong.I miss you! How do you deal with heart's desire powerfully

Missing someone evokes thoughts and beliefs. For example, about not seeing how you’ll ever get over this. That what you shared together you lost forever. Maybe even that you don’t deserve love. What do your thoughts look like? Or do you distract yourself by compensating for the lack? Do you do that through hard work and doing your best to get closer to the other person?

When the desire for your loved one kicks in, the move to move away from your own heart is quickly made. Your attention shifts to the other. Or to your head by reasoning it well. You put it in the future, maybe it will be there. You may be beginning to believe that he or she has run away with some of the love.

“When your heart indicates that it wants to feel love, we often move away from it ourselves .”

Love is anyway…

The realization that you yourself are moving away from your own heart seems paradoxical. The other one is gone with you, right? You couldn’t prevent it. You didn’t want it that way!

Gone is the attention of the heart, because there is pain. The thought stings that your loved one, and therefore love, is absent. Consciously or unconsciously, we come up with solutions and protections come into effect. Rightly so, when a loss is too much to deal with at once.

In addition, we have expectations. Love is a great togetherness, isn’t it? We should cherish the moments when this is the case. Unfortunately, sometimes life takes a different turn and reality looks different.

The realization that you wrongly keep hoping or adjusting to be with your loved one is bitter. Giving up hope in the other and embracing your own desire is a brave act.

Recognize and recognize strong desire and stay with it

Notice when you desire, however hard. It pays to stick to your own heart then. Moving away from your heart can become more painful in the long run than staying with it. If so, the old protection is no longer useful.

Also notice how your attention shifts to your thoughts or somehow moves away from your heart. When you are ready, gently bring your attention back to your heart. It may help to put your hand on it. Feel what this is like for you. Is there pain? Is your heart open or closed? If you don’t feel anything, that is also an observation. Try not to judge it. A heart’s desire can be great and with it your built-up protection as well.

subtleties

If you have dared to look at yourself this far, then you have already made great strides. What you can do now is touch with compassion all that you perceive. Is there pain in your heart, pet it. Feel it close, breathe. If you think there’s nothing there, fill it up with compassion.

Don’t expect to experience an intense feeling of love afterwards. You can pat yourself on the back for your courage. And your intention to repeat this. Subtly, the process will become more bearable: have I kept to myself in a situation that is so difficult? Did I touch my pain? Have the raw edges softened?

That is also love. Touching your heart with compassion when you need it most. In this way you take responsibility for your own heart’s desire and you give yourself the chance to heal. Love will therefore flow more. Like a flower unfolds its leaf to reveal the tender heart.

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