Sunday, December 4, 2022
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I want to move forward but my partner is holding me back

Dear Jennifer:  I’ve been in a relationship for ten years. What started as a loving, supportive partnership has changed in the last two years.

My partner is often mean, critical and unsupportive. He hasn’t worked for the last two years, and I do the housework alone. Recently I received an offer for a new job that would involve moving, but my partner does not want to come with me.

He also says I can’t leave until he gets his life back on track and he wants me to wait six months. If I do, I’ll lose that opportunity, and it’s my ‘dream job’.
How can I move forward if he stops me?

Jennifer’s Answer:  How long do you think your partner would be willing to hold their breath, when it came to life and death? Probably not too long.

But he does do this in his life, and he makes you feel responsible for his choices. You want to evolve and move forward, he wants everything to stay the same, because as long as you take care of him and allow him to hold his breath, so to speak, he doesn’t have to change.
He gives you a chance to resist your life changes, and you let your fears make your decisions.

So what are you afraid of in your life? Are you afraid of being alone, or that the relationship will end, and you will not see a positive result for the ten years you have devoted to this relationship. Are you afraid he won’t succeed, and you’ll be responsible for whatever happens to him?

There are many past life themes playing out between you, and that is what drives your behavior and his. In this situation, you may have been responsible for his failure in a past life, directly or indirectly, and now you are giving him every chance to succeed by supporting him in every way.

And yet, whatever you do, he makes no effort to change. He probably didn’t in those past lives either.

Are you afraid of being alone?

Maybe you are also afraid of success, afraid that you will not achieve your goal and expectations, and he is playing on that fear to keep you in the relationship. If you leave, it will make his life more difficult, as he will have to support himself,

but he will learn to get his affairs in order, and to breathe on his own, the moment you stop doing this for him. You need to remind yourself that you are not responsible for his choices, but you are responsible for yours. The impasse is here: he wants you to do what’s best for him, and you want him to do what’s best for you.

But an opportunity to transform your life also means changing how you support your dreams, and how you expand your dreams to a higher potential for yourself. And even if you think he has no power, he is powerful enough to direct your life, and influence your choices.

He is not weak, he is powerful enough to make you doubt your abilities. And he will continue to do so until you no longer allow it. You have been given an opportunity here that you can get or refuse, but in any case you have to make a choice. The greater the need for change, the more important and unavoidable the choices. Your choice can focus on what’s best for him, or what’s best for you.

I suggest that you set your intention to expand to your highest and best potential, that you choose what is right and best for you.

When you let go of your own resistance, the path of your heart will become crystal clear, and you will no longer be afraid to choose what is best and right for you, nor will you be preoccupied with someone you love. let you hold off.


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