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Is it the purpose of life to stop feeling attacked?

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“I’m 100% sure!” Or: ‘I don’t have to think about that, I’ve arranged it’. Do you know that? You defend yourself and at a quiet moment a voice comes into your head that asks a question: are you really sure? Did I really do it or was I just thinking about it….?

Oh dear, a crack in the certainty. Often that is the beginning :-). Admitting that it could be different than you initially thought is sometimes good to swallow.

Often the hardest step is admitting to yourself. Giving in to someone else afterwards is a little less difficult. Pfff… it feels good to admit it. Admit you were wrong. Without having to bring yourself all the way down. More from an attitude, as you might approach another: ‘oh well, can happen. You are human. After you admit it, you immediately receive an opening in which you can look at the situation from a new perspective. You can look from this new opening that sheds a new light on these – or other – situations.

to stop feeling attacked

An example: my husband asks me if I want to turn off the tap properly from now on, otherwise it will continue to drip. I feel attacked and react ‘I always close the tap properly, that happens automatically, I don’t forget that’. Then at a quieter moment follows that sentence: do I always turn off the tap? Could it be that I sometimes forget? Suddenly I see the image in my mind that I was in a hurry this morning and I must not have turned the tap off properly.

Okay, I admit to myself that I thought I always turned off the tap. A part of me wants to be right (ego) but the wise part of me allows me to forget it and probably forget it more often. The wise piece shrugs her shoulders and gives space to my human being. I will also come back to this with my husband. So, that was that.

Light shines in the opening that has been created. It’s a little crack because my ego is still trying to brick everything up. It doesn’t matter, I let it be there and focus on the light. As a result, relaxation follows and the light can expand. The crack gets bigger. In the space that is now being created, I see myself in a different light.to stop feeling attacked

I see that it is difficult for me to see myself as I am completely. I let myself be in those areas where it takes no effort for me. In those areas where I’d rather brush it off, I feel attacked.

Like that colleague who asks if you have thought of anything to do. Or a stranger in the store reacts to the content of your messages. Or the teacher at school who says something about your child. Or while walking your dog, there is a reaction. Is there an example that you recognize? Otherwise you can probably come up with one.

We feel attacked because the other shows us where our hidden shadows are. We often know that it is not about our child, dog, groceries or the leaking tap. But that doesn’t change the fact that we can feel attacked.

Is it the purpose of life to stop feeling attacked? I do not think so. Perhaps you notice a difference throughout life that you can more and more easily keep situations outside of yourself because it no longer affects you. That’s a nice bonus.

Furthermore, I think that life shows us where our shadow sides are hiding in order to free us from them. What do you think? I think the way we can get rid of it can be very simple.

And for now? Just put your arms around yourself extra when you feel attacked. Because you really thought you knew for sure.

Let yourself know ‘it’s okay’. I’m sure of that. It’s okay

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