Dear Jennifer: I had a session with you several years ago, and you advised me to follow my heart as I faced some of the tough decisions I had to make, either moving house or staying close to my family.
I recently moved to India, and I am so happy here. Thank you for your encouragement. Now that I’ve manifested most of what I wanted, there’s one more thing I can’t seem to manifest, a relationship. I’m in a relationship with someone, but they’re already in a relationship with someone else, so we’re just friends.
I have done a lot of healing work and I don’t know what to heal anymore. I have manifested everything except my love partner. I am grateful for everything, but I still want a boyfriend! I know you said everything comes at once, and that’s how it went, except for this one thing.
What is my lesson in this? Why is it that I finally manifested someone, but we’re not in a full relationship yet? Is it about “acceptance” to leave him where he wants to be, as you meant on your show recently? Or would you advise that I stop this and find someone else?
Jennifer’s Answer: First of all, congratulations on following your heart. I know it wasn’t an easy choice for you, but you chose to take this important step to be away from your family. Even though it was difficult, this was not your hardest choice, that is your relationship. And that’s why you’ve chosen someone who isn’t available,
to make yourself feel like there’s someone in your life, with no real ties. What’s the lesson for you (and that’s an important question)? Why aren’t you willing to be vulnerable and bond? Here are some important answers for you, and they have to do with what you think are your responsibilities in relationships.
Once we begin our healing process, we go through a long process of clarifying what isn’t working for us, and aligning ourselves on a new life path. That can take some time, even a very long time. Then, one day, the healing is complete, and the next difficult step begins: trusting ourselves enough to do what we fear most, taking action to start living our lives differently. Healing cycles must come to an end someday,
and once they are complete we must live from our healed, whole self. Because we don’t know how to do that, it is sometimes easier to stay in our healing cycle. That is why you have chosen someone who is not available as a partner, you are not able to see that your healing is complete, and have a ‘real’ relationship.
To turn this friendship into a relationship, you need to look at what relationship means to you, in terms of obligations and commitment, your responsibilities to that other person, and the limitations that all of this brings into your life. You know that level of commitment from your relationship with your family, so do you think you give up when you share your heart with someone or open your life to them?
What does it cost you in freedom, being yourself and being able to make your own choices? When you know the answers to those questions, you can create boundaries that determine how much you give in a relationship, from your sense of obligation, and thus bring more balance so that you give and receive, without feeling that it is a burden for you. you.
As for the person you’re currently interested in, that’s what acceptance is all about – if he was more interested in a committed long-term relationship with you, you’d already be in one by now. So accept that he can’t do that right now for his own reasons.
And open your heart to find someone who does want a committed, long-term relationship with you, in which you respect your boundaries in such a way that you create a balanced and fulfilling relationship, that meets all your needs, with someone who can share your feelings and is willing and is able to commit to you in the same way.