Thursday, December 1, 2022
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Letting go of old relationships – with the help of a ‘kindred soul’


It probably happens to anyone who is on the path of transformation. It’s completely normal. But that doesn’t make it any less painful. Saying goodbye to old relationships. Having to let go of connections to people, situations or places that we have attracted from our old patterns and no longer serve our growth.

When something no longer serves our growth, it becomes ‘toxic’ and it is time to let it go. But when you have invested energy and love in those connections, it always hurts.

Some time ago it happened again. Two old connections that it had become painfully clear were no longer good for me. Even though I knew that letting go was the best thing to do, I couldn’t stop crying. I instinctively looked for anything that could ease my pain: pink flowers, heart-shaped pillows, pink, lots of pink… but I kept crying. I couldn’t let go of the feeling that I was the victim of something painful and unjust.

Suddenly I became aware of a strong tingling in my left leg. I’d been feeling it for a day or two, but now it was so strong I couldn’t ignore it.
I know that tingle. It is the energy of Áyra, a special and extremely sensitive child of mine from a past life. Because I was his father in that life, he still calls me “daddy.”
“Why are you crying, Daddy?” he said.

“I’m so disappointed in people,” I sniffed through my tears. “So disappointed… it hurts my heart.”
“But Dad… did you run into the wrong people with your heart?”
I laughed and laughed through my tears. He was right!
There was nothing wrong with me, or my heart, and I was not a victim of the arbitrariness of the universe. I had just run into the wrong people with my sensitive heart!

And by wrong I mean people who are not good for me. Not that there is anything inherently wrong with them. But as is often the case, like many highly sensitive people, I had especially seen the potential of the persons in question, their true selves, and the old soul relationships I had with them. The past lives and loves we had shared.
What I hadn’t seen were the unhealed and dark bits that ultimately killed the relationship.

Now unhealed pieces are not a problem in themselves. We all have them. As long as we are aware of them and have enough self-reflection, and take the responsibility to face them, they will not stand in the way of a healthy relationship or friendship. On the contrary. With enough (self) awareness and trust, relationships are ideally suited to bring those pieces to light and heal them.

It only becomes a problem if they are not recognized. As the famous psychiatrist Carl Jung so beautifully puts it: “A person does not become enlightened by thinking of light figures, but by becoming aware of the darkness.” Your own darkness only becomes a problem if you don’t recognize it, because then it starts to rule you and your relationships.

I sat contemplating with Zyra on my lap, imagining how I’d been giving away my heart energy in places where it didn’t belong.

When we enter into relationships with each other, we also enter into a connection energetically. Something of our own: our love, our loyalty, our innocence, our hopes can linger with the other long after the relationship is broken. And vice versa, we can have become carriers for the energy of the other.

That is why it is often so difficult to let go of a relationship, no matter how unhealthy it may be: we instinctively feel that there is still something special, something precious of ourselves with the other person. The craving for an unhealthy other is often actually a craving for ourselves.

I saw little pink hearts, mini versions of my heart sitting with the others and went into meditation to bring them back. Then I surrendered all the energy that was not mine, but the others’ to the angels to take to the light. Then I asked Archangel Michael to lovingly loosen the connections. So! That was a relief.

The tingling continued and I turned my attention back to the child who was with me.
Again I ‘heard’ Zyra’s voice:
‘Are you disappointed in yourself then?’
Another good one. Yes, I’ve fooled myself again. That I’ve ignored signals for too long. That I didn’t want to see it. I have yet to forgive myself.

What still amazes me in the whole process is the love and loyalty of those I was allowed to call family long ago. When life gets a little too much for me, they are immediately ready to comfort with their hugs and wisdom. And the greatest wisdom, as so often, came from a child!


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