Friday, December 2, 2022
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Letting go of your birth family

It gives me great pleasure to be with you again. You are all brave warriors. Your mere presence here in a physical body on Earth shows tremendous courage and also a fighting spirit to fight the dark energies and the blockages that you encounter within yourself. The word “fight” I use here troubles Pamela.

But I use the word here anyway because you are fighters, in the sense of fighters who overcome difficulties not only with the love of the heart, but also with the sword of discernment. Discernment means: being able to recognize very clearly when energies are not in agreement with yours (so that you can release them from your energy field). Discernment is the energy of the sword, the male energy,

I want to speak of the transition time as you call it, the time referred to as a transition from Pisces to Aquarius, or from the third to the fifth dimension. You have come up with all kinds of names for this energetic transition that is currently taking place in your earthly realms.

I do not like to speak of that transition in external terms, in terms of predictions of what is to happen on your Earth. For example, about the number of earthquakes or disasters that still have to take place before the change can take place.

I want to speak about the changes in the heart.loose

In many of you there is a need for a certain hold. That is why you sometimes rely on transition theories and predictions that you read or hear about. You are guided by motives of fear and/or curiosity. But in doing so, you sometimes lose sight of the fact that there may be very obscure energies involved in these predictions.

Therefore, when you take note of these thoughts and ideas of others, always ask about the source from which it comes. Ask this from your heart, just feel what energetic source these speculations, these transition theories come from. Wield the sword of your discernment!

I am a big believer in understanding this transition time in inner terms. That is why I speak of the transition from an ego-based consciousness to a heart-based consciousness. In the first instance this concerns an inner transition, which you can all internally observe and test.

There is nothing outside of you that you need for this change, and there is nothing outside of you that can hold you back. There is also no ‘deadline’, no time at which you must have achieved something. It is an inner transition that you, personally and uniquely, take step by step.

In this channeling, I want to illustrate this transformation process (from ego to heart) through a theme that all of you deeply relate to: your relationship with your birth family. How you relate to your family says a lot about your own progress in moving from ego-based to heart-based consciousness.

Your birth here on earth can be compared to a kind of fall into darkness, but then without all kinds of associations with sin and guilt. It is about a deep dive that you consciously take from a certain layer of your soul. Once you have taken that plunge, however, you are in a state of ignorance, for you are immersed in the material world. At that moment you have arrived in your mother’s womb.

On the one hand you have a very clear energy with you, the energy of Home. You remember what it was like on the other side, you remember the obvious love and the connection with all that is. These energies of Home are still strong with you as you descend to Earth as an embryo. But at the same time you are confronted with what I call ‘the paradigm of the parents’.

Paradigm is a word that actually means something like worldview, but it encompasses more than that. It includes not only the thoughts and beliefs of your parents but also their feelings, their deepest emotions. That whole ‘safety net’ is the paradigm you dive into as a new soul coming to Earth, at the beginning of a new incarnation.

You are immersed in the reality of ‘the third dimension’, or as I would say it: the world of ego-based consciousness, as it is represented in the parents. This is an energetic reality in which certain illusions strongly predominate. I want to mention the three main illusions here.

Losing your mastery

The first is the illusion that you have lost your mastery. This illusion causes you, as you live, work, and live on Earth, to forget that you are the creator of everything that happens in your life. You no longer recognize what is in your life as your own creations, you sometimes feel like a victim. You believe that there are powers greater than you that can determine and shape your life. This is the loss of your mastery.

The loss of unity

With that dive into the deep, that dive into the paradigm of your parents, who have been living in the illusion for quite some time, there is also the loss of real connection with all that lives. You lose the sense of the unity between you and the world, you and the other. There is a belief within the ego-based consciousness that we are all separate from each other, each in a separate body. And that we live in that body and that it takes a lot of effort to make contact with the other. It is the illusion of the body as a prison. That is the second illusion.

The loss of love

The third illusion I want to mention is the loss of love. In the sphere from which you come to Earth, the energy of love has been a natural food. If you come here in a relatively dark world, where there is a lot of lovelessness, you start to confuse love with all kinds of energies that are not love, such as admiration or emotional dependence. I will come back to this confusion later in this channeling.

I want to take you now to that moment when you are born here, with one leg still in heaven and the other leg on the earth, in that paradigm that you don’t really fit into yet. There are always specific points where your parents are very attached to that paradigm. There are also points where they are detached from it; those are the aspects where the heart energy has broken through in them. But there are also always some points where they are very much stuck to the ego-based consciousness paradigm.

And you come in there, fresh, so to speak, from heaven. What then happens in the child’s development in relation to the parents is that it first becomes very attached to the parent’s paradigm, and then gradually lets go of it as it grows older. This growth process is very similar to the transition from ego energy to heart energy that takes place in the collective consciousness of humanity.heart

As it happens on a large scale, it also happens on a small scale, at the level of the individual. The transition from ego-based to heart-based consciousness on a micro level often comes down to rising above the limiting, fear-charged energies you were given by your parents in childhood.

I like to describe this consciousness transformation on a small scale, for example in terms of the parent-child relationship, because it is so recognizable to all of you on an experience level. I don’t like predictions or announcements that don’t match the experience, that are not recognizable in your own heart, in your own feeling.

That is why I ask you again: when you read or listen to texts about the transition time, always check in your heart whether it fits with your own experience. For you are no longer students, you are all masters. Your own experience is the touchstone.

Your hearts are filled with intuition, tender and gentle, of that which is to come. Trust that. How this inner consciousness shift is going to take shape outwardly, in the physical reality on Earth, is not so important at all. We’ll see that again. It is the step of the heart, the step inwardly in the life of feeling, which really counts in the transition to the New Age.

The moment you start life here on earth as a child, you meet reality primarily through your parents. When you arrive here, you carry the memory of Home with you and you also feel a vague nostalgia.

Earlier we spoke about the cosmic birth trauma, which you as a soul receive at the very beginning of your journey of incarnations (see first channeling of this part). Every time you start a specific earthly life as a child, this birth trauma is repeated. I am mainly referring to the psychological trauma of the goodbye from Home that you take every time and the need to adapt, to find yourself in the energy of the earth.

The parents belong to the energy of the earth at the moment of your birth. They have already adapted to this dimension, to the laws that apply here. Often these are restrictive laws, in the sphere of social norms and ideas that the parents have absorbed very strongly, but which are not at all obvious to the child.

The parents thus represent the ego-based consciousness for the child, the paradigm of the three illusions. The child becomes acquainted with this through the parental home, and the way in which this paradigm has taken shape in the parents will strongly influence his further life.

Of course, parents were once children themselves and have also experienced this same process. The parents do not consciously impose their fears and illusions on their children. But by the time they have children of their own, adults have unknowingly absorbed a great deal of energies from the old ego-based paradigm, the paradigm formed by the three illusions mentioned above.

The child enters here fresh and new and notices that reality does not answer, does not correspond to what he was used to. The child is in a rather passive state of consciousness at that early stage of life. It is very open in its being, in its mind and its feeling, and it absorbs everything. Especially in the first three months, the child’s absorbency is incredible,

He drinks up the energetic reality of the immediate environment, usually the parents, and experiences it as reality. On the other hand, there is still that little bit of heaven in him, that core of pure, unconditional being that has not been tainted by the illusions. These two energetic realities collide, but the child keeps it hidden from himself. It is in fact too painful to experience in this extremely vulnerable state, in which the child finds itself as a newborn.

In order to hide this clash, this inner conflict from itself, the child bends to the environment. He wants to find confirmation in the environment for the energies of love, connection, and mastery, which are still naturally present in him. The child is still master of his reality, he feels connected and one, he has love, but he wants to see it confirmed by his environment. He goes looking, but often he gets confused messages back from his environment.

His parents want to give love, but there is also so much fear in them. There is so much blocked energy that cannot flow that they forbid themselves to flow. There is also a longing, a nostalgia present in the parents for their own mastery, their love, their natural connection to All That Is, but they are this state of consciousness long gone.

They have already become so accustomed to earthly life with those illusions that they have come to regard those illusions as true. So, unnoticed, parents are raising the child with energies that confuse it.

And again, the parents can do nothing about that to a certain extent, in the sense that on a conscious level they often do their very best to take good care of their child. When a child is born, the parents often have a opening to more light and love.

A core of divine, unconditional love is touched in the parents at that moment. They feel the sanctity of birth and of the little being entrusted to them and to life. When a child is born, their hearts are wide open, and they make contact with their own divine, sacred being. This can temporarily cancel the illusions.

But it is often temporary, because after that everything starts to ‘settle’, to adjust to the existing energetic reality of the parents before the birth of the child. And so the opening to the heart-supported consciousness that was there can close again and often it is.

The parents then fall back into their old pattern of thinking, feeling, and wanting. And what happens to the child now? that grows up? Most children adapt themselves so much to the parental paradigm that they lose contact with their original soul energy, which they were very aware of before the beginning of their incarnation.

In this first phase of life (until puberty) they are so preoccupied with orienting themselves to this world, and receiving love and attention from the parents, that they themselves forget who they are.

The child has an unbridled desire for love and security and if the parents cannot give it enough, the child will struggle to get it anyway. It will then create delusions of love. It comes to mistake wrong energies for love, for example the pride of a parent when the child achieves something that is considered good-looking and good in the outside world. This kind of parental pride actually goes over the child’s head.

It is not the pride of an inner achievement, but of an outer achievement which does not necessarily come from the inner impulses of the child. That kind of pride can come to a child thinking of love. And often in later life it starts to work very hard and as an adult he does not understand why he always has the urge to work so hard,

A second distortion or delusion of love is when the child starts to confuse love with emotional dependence. Many parents themselves have experienced a lack of real love in their youth. As children they felt insufficiently included in an atmosphere of warmth and safety. When they have a baby of their own, they embrace it with a double gesture.

On the one hand there is genuine love, on the other hand there is an unconscious need to make up for that lack. Parents try to heal the emotional wound in themselves by rediscovering in the relationship with the child the love and security that they previously lacked. When that happens, the child receives very confusing messages from the parent.

Energetically, the messages ‘I love you’ and ‘I need you’ become inextricably intertwined. This entanglement makes a child associate love with need. This delusion creates an emotionally dependent relationship between parent and child, which can be very destructive not only for the parent-child relationship, but in the longer term also for the intimate relationships that the child establishes as an adult.

In adult relationships with other adults, he or she can easily come to think that “being needed” is an essential part of the love in that relationship. It can then begin to interpret feelings of dependence, even jealousy and possessiveness, as a form of love, when these energies are diametrically opposed to love. ends up causing a lot of confusion in the beginning, say in the first half of your life.

You are, as it were, led astray, and at some point opportunities and possibilities come into your life that invite you to find out, to untangle the knot. You can end up in an identity crisis, in which nothing is certain anymore and you constantly doubt who you are and who is not. This is described in Part II of this book as the first stage of the transition from ego to heart.

The essential disentanglement of your illusions and delusions occurs when you make contact with the energy of the heart. To your parents it means that you can really let go and forgive them inwardly and go your own way.

You have been a victim of your parents in a sense, your parents insofar as they represented the ego-based consciousness in your childhood. You have lived temporarily and partly according to their illusions. In a sense, you couldn’t help it, as a child of theirs. Getting beyond this victimhood is one of the most powerful breakthroughs you can experience in your life.

It makes you a free person when you can distinguish the deepest energetic impressions, which you have acquired in your youth, as ‘own’ or ‘non-own’. If you can discern this, you can decide what to keep and what to let go. This is mastery. You then no longer unconsciously adapt to the wishes and desires of your parents, if they are not your own. But you don’t resist it anymore. You can see the alien they wanted to burden you with as something that doesn’t belong to you, period. You don’t have to judge them (anymore).

You don’t have to fight anymore. You become acquainted with the ego-based consciousness through your parents and you transcend it again through your parents, namely by letting go of them in love and forgiveness and recognizing yourself as the independent master who you are. This is the claim of your mastery, the realization that you are the creator of your life and that you have chosen everything, including the astray you have dwelt on.

if they are not your own. But you don’t resist it anymore. You can see the alien they wanted to burden you with as something that doesn’t belong to you, period. You don’t have to judge them (anymore). You don’t have to fight anymore. You become acquainted with the ego-based consciousness through your parents and you transcend it again through your parents, namely by letting go of them in love and forgiveness and recognizing yourself as the independent master who you are.

This is the claim of your mastery, the realization that you are the creator of your life and that you have chosen everything, including the astray you have dwelt on. if they are not your own. But you don’t resist it anymore. You can see the alien they wanted to burden you with as something that doesn’t belong to you, period. You don’t have to judge them (anymore). You don’t have to fight anymore.

You become acquainted with the ego-based consciousness through your parents and you transcend it again through your parents, namely by letting go of them in love and forgiveness and recognizing yourself as the independent master who you are. This is the claim of your mastery, the realization that you are the creator of your life and that you have chosen everything, including the astray you have dwelt on. You don’t have to fight anymore.

You become acquainted with the ego-based consciousness through your parents and you transcend it again through your parents, namely by letting go of them in love and forgiveness and recognizing yourself as the independent master who you are. This is the claim of your mastery, the realization that you are the creator of your life and that you have chosen everything, including the astray you have dwelt on.

You don’t have to fight anymore. You become acquainted with the ego-based consciousness through your parents and you transcend it again through your parents, namely by letting go of them in love and forgiveness and recognizing yourself as the independent master who you are. This is the claim of your mastery, the realization that you are the creator of your life and that you have chosen everything, including the astray you have dwelt on.

Lightworkers and their parents

At this point I want to speak especially about the lightworker souls. When they are born, they too dive into the paradigm of the parents they themselves have chosen as souls. Now, lightworkers often carry an extra charge in relation to the parents or parental paradigm. Lightworkers, when they come to Earth, intend to plant the seeds, the germs of the Christ consciousness, the energy of the New Age. .

To an even greater extent than other souls, lightworkers intend to start putting the paradigm of the heart into the earthly reality. Precisely because of this – and this may seem paradoxical – many lightworker souls incarnate precisely in families where there is quite a lot of darkness. By darkness I mean the illusions I spoke of before,

So while lightworkers come to Earth with a developed consciousness, with a refinement or ‘old age’ in their souls, they end up in families where something is going on, where a certain illusion is experienced to the extreme.

By the nature of their mission, lightworkers are almost like magnets seeking out situations where the energy has become trapped, where the energy hangs out like a dead end. They feel it is their job to let the energy flow there again. And that’s why lightworkers are often born into difficult families.

When they begin life, lightworkers often have a strong confidence that they will find the way out, that they will overcome that limiting energy.

However, when they are born and grow up as children, they encounter exactly the same dilemmas and confusions as any other child. In a way they experience that confusion even more strongly and more deeply. Because they carry much of the energy of Home within them, they collide (internally) head on with blocked energy patterns in their environment and this affects them deeply.

Thus, the lightworker’s passage into those places of darkness or error involves a certain amount of risk. It’s a dangerous mission. Don’t forget why I call you brave warriors, that’s why. Your birth here is like landing in an inhospitable landscape with only yourself, your own inner knowing, as baggage. There is little resonance with the environment, little recognition and confirmation of who you are.

As a lightworker you look for the strange. As a lightworker you are a pioneer who wants to turn something around, want to change something, and you are always the first to do so in that environment. So you don’t meet your like-minded people. And that hurts, that’s hard on a human soul. As a spiritual entity you have consciously chosen this, but as an earthly human being, as a child it can be very rough on your liver.

Therefore, I ask you to feel and recognize that pain within yourselves, for only in that way can you work with it and break free from it. It is the pain of the child who is homeless and never finds confirmation of his individuality. The child is strange in that environment.

the earth
the earth: overcoming that limiting energy

The whole journey from the child to adulthood and even old age can be seen as a challenge to find your own original light again. The challenge is to know and feel completely from within yourself again: ‘this is me, and this is what I have come to bring here.’ This is especially true for lightworkers.

Their primary task is to become themselves. In doing so, they fulfill their mission. It’s not your job to make the world a better place. Your job is to find yourself. And yes, the world will be better for it, because your light will shine in a natural and natural way. But you don’t have to ‘work’ for that, it just happens.

The real work is in letting go of all those bits of ego paradigm (fear, illusion) that you absorbed so deeply as a child, in the first three months and beyond. Letting go is an intensely difficult task.

I don’t want to discourage you with that. Rather, I want to teach you that you can have a lot of respect for yourself and that you are the bravest warriors I know. The challenge that matters is to really get the most out of yourself in an environment that is not your own. This is the work of the pioneer, the one who is paving the way for a new consciousness here on Earth.

Solving Family Karma

It is important to become aware of all the feelings that still play in your relationship with your parents, especially the feelings from your childhood. You could try the following exercise to find out what energy exchange there is between you and your parents

Take a few moments to relax your muscles, become aware of your breathing and put both feet firmly on the ground.

Now imagine that you are walking outside in nature. You feel good, the environment is beautiful. Then you hear something. They are two small children, a boy and a girl. They cry because they are lost.

The children see you and run towards you. They need your help. Then take a good look at them. You know them. They are your parents – but now as little children. You look at their faces. You comfort them and reassure them. You tell them you will take them home.

Note the energy exchange. Watch your feeling.

Then you go talk to them. You ask them what they want to be when they grow up. What they want to do when they grow up. They trust you. They are open to you. For you are great and strong and wise and bring them home again. Then you give them each good advice. You are telling them something that is very important to them. Something they will think about for the rest of their lives. What do you tell them?

Then you bring them home and you say goodbye to them. They are grateful and will carry your advice in their hearts.

In this guided meditation, the roles of parent and child are reversed. By doing this exercise, you can become aware of a background feeling you have always had about your parents. This reversal contains a kernel of truth.

In essence, you are (also) the parent of your parents. It was your intention to play the role of parent when you came to Earth in that particular family: you wanted to lead your parents somewhere, or lead your parents from somewhere. You wanted to invite them to grow towards a lighter reality.

You often think that you have failed in this. You have the feeling that it has failed, that you have not been able to help your parents in the way you intended. However, that is not true. What matters is that you have a good understanding of what ‘helping’ means. It goes like this.

passageAt birth you end up in a paradigm in which you are essentially not at home. But you come to live with it, you absorb it so strongly that it becomes part of you. It becomes so much your own that you actually no longer know what is yours and what is not yours.

This hurts (unconsciously) and leads to inner conflicts. As you mature, you can choose to become aware of that pain and work with it. You then embark on the path of inner growth and awareness.

You will awaken and heal deeper and deeper layers of pain within yourself. Not being seen, loneliness, all those pieces come up. And while you’re doing that, you’re doing your job. You are then helping your parents, not directly, but indirectly.

What you are actually doing is you are laying down a path, an energetic trail. You climb out of a valley, a dark area in which certain illusions reign, leaving a trail in the process. The climb to the top takes a lot of strength and effort. And that is your mission, the task you have set out for yourself.

By blazing that path, the ‘trail of the solution’, that trail becomes energetically available, for your parents, your family and anyone who wants to use it. Anyone who is in that particular dead end can use the energy of the solution, which you made available through your ascent from the deep. (See also the channeling ‘ Pitfalls on the way to healing’ for the concept of ‘energy of the solution’).

So the trail you draw to your own enlightenment, your own joy, is the fulfillment of your task. It is not your job to also take the burdens of your parents or your loved ones on your back. You don’t have to make them change, let them break free of old illusions and fears. That’s not your job. It is your job to forge an energetic path, which you do by growing and letting go inwardly.

The concept of family karma, which is used in certain spiritual literature, can give rise to misunderstandings in this regard.

In the case of family karma, there would be a supra-individual karma that belongs to a family and that someone from that family (the lightworker of course) can take on. It is indeed true that in a family – and that can go back many generations – a certain theme, a certain problem is repeated over and over. This can even affect the genetic level.

This problem searches for a solution at a certain level, and is passed on until the solution has been established. Many souls, not just lightworkers, by birth in a certain family line inherit a piece of karma that belongs to the family.

But this contribution is not about you having to rid your family of that karma. The goal is to rid yourself of that karma. With that you create an energetic space of possibilities, which the others can then make use of, if they want to. Because there is always free choice.

Those others can’t do it either; that is their right and that is a part that is difficult for you to let go. You sometimes really feel that you have to figuratively drag your parents or your loved ones up that mountain. That the success of your mission really depends on the change that happens in the lives of others. This is not so.

Those others whom you love and whom you are so eager to bring to light may live in that valley for a few more centuries. But one day they discover a trail leading up to it and they think ‘hey, that’s interesting, it feels good to give this a try, I don’t really like it here’. And then they go.

They go their own way of inner growth, their own ascent to the light. And isn’t it wonderful, isn’t it fantastic that there is a trail that offers them something to hold on to? They will still go their separate ways, but there is always a beacon, a way has been opened for them, making it just that little bit easier to take those steps.

Thanks to you. That’s your job, that’s the role of a pioneer: to blaze a path through a wilderness, through something that has not been conquered or charted before.

If you yourself manage to get rid of the three illusions, if you can let the energies of mastery, connection and love flow into your life, then you are in touch with the heart and you live from a heart-supported consciousness. You can then let go of the old paradigm and in a certain sense say goodbye to your parents.

Not literally, but internally. To say goodbye to your parents inwardly means: to set them free in their individuality, to make no (anymore) attempt to change them. Understand that it is not your job to literally lead them somewhere. Your job is done, you have blazed a path, with love. That’s what you came for, it didn’t fail.

You will see that after this inner farewell, the relationship with your parents becomes less fraught, that the energies of struggle, blame and guilt can leave the terrain. In your immediate environment, other people may now appear in your life who are part of what you might call your ‘spiritual family”‘.

Your spiritual family has nothing to do with biology, genes, and heredity. These are like-minded souls. These are very often souls that you know from other lives, from past lives. You often have a friendly bond with them. When you meet such a person, you may be surprised at how easy the contact is and how quickly you recognize each other in all kinds of ways.

First you went to so much trouble to live with your otherness. You have always had the feeling that you ‘didn’t fit in’, but if you really let go of your old paradigm, people will automatically come your way with whom that difference is the connection, the click you make with each other.

That gives a lot of joy and satisfaction. It is the energy of your real family, your soul mates, finding the recognition you have been looking for for so long. Once you are able to recognize yourself independently of anyone else, these very fulfilling friendships and relationships can appear in your life perfectly naturally and automatically.


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