This is the idea of the twin flame as other half. A disastrous idea. You then assume that you will find the unity and security that you deeply lack in another who is perfectly suitable for you (Jeshua via Pamela Kribbe)
In this New Age, relationships are undergoing a major transformation.
Relationships are almost always the source of the deepest emotions in yourself, reaching from great joy to deep heartache. In relationships you can become aware of a pain in yourself, which is essentially much older than the relationship itself, yes even older than your humanness. (This will be explained later).
In this time there is the opportunity to come to a deep healing in the field of relationships. With the new energy emerging, it is possible to transform the destructive sides of a relationship into a positive flow between you and the other(s).
Often, however, healing and inner growth also means that you will let go of relationships in which you cannot develop, that you will say goodbye to someone else you care about, because your own way is elsewhere.
Whether it leads to renewal or farewell in a relationship, you are busy developing yourself on a relational level. The call of the heart, of the heart-carried energy that ushers in the New Age, is being felt in your daily life, and you can no longer ignore it.
To make you understand why relationships can cause so much pain and turn your emotional life upside down, I want to tell you something about an old pain in your soul. It is a pain that is very old,
much older than this life and even all your previous lives on Earth. I want to take you to your original birth pain as a soul .Once upon a time, everything was one and undivided. Can you imagine this?
Let your imagination run wild. Imagine: you are not in a body, you are pure consciousness and you are part of an enormous energy field that surrounds you and in which you feel: I am part of this whole and I am loved without conditions.
Feel how that energy field enveloped you like an intensely cozy blanket, like an intensely loving energy in which you could unfold and move freely, in which you never had to be afraid of who you were.
This intense comfort and security belonged to the initial state from which your soul as an individual was born. It was a cosmic womb. There is still nostalgia in your hearts for that feeling of total unity, of being absolutely sheltered in a blanket of warmth and love.
That feeling of love was God. Together in this garment you formed God.
At some level in this divine consciousness, a decision was made at some point. It was decided to get out of this situation. It is very difficult to put this into words, but you can perhaps imagine that in God, in that unity consciousness, there was at one point a desire for ‘something else’: something other than unity. There was a desire for experience, so to speak.
When you are completely absorbed in a unity of absolute being, you gain no experience……. you are simple.
Despite the ecstasy and total security in this form of being, there was a part of God, a part of this cosmic consciousness, that wanted to evolve and experiment. This part ‘went outside of itself’.
You are this part of God. Your consciousness has once consented to this experiment of coming out of oneness and becoming ‘I’, an entity within itself, a defined individual consciousness. This was a huge step. From the depths of your being you felt that this was good, that this desire for creation and renewal was a positive, good desire.
However, the moment you stepped out of the field of unity, there was pain. For the first time in your memory, for the first time in your life, there was deep pain. You were torn free from a field of love and security that was completely self-evident at first. This is the birth pain I am talking about.
Even during this first intense experience of abandonment, somewhere in you there was an inner knowing ‘that it was right’, that this was your choice. But the pain was so deep that you became confused and disoriented, so that it became very difficult to keep in touch with that Higher Knowing within yourself, the level within yourself where you are God, where you know ‘this is right’.
The pained piece that came into being I call the inner child. Your soul, your unique individuality, carries within it the extremes of an absolute divine knowledge on the one hand and a cosmic child with a birth trauma on the other.
This whole of God and Child, of knowing and experiencing, set off. You set out. You went looking, researching and experiencing what it is like to be an ‘I’, a defined individual.
God recreated a part of itself into Soul that needs experience to come to itself (again). Who needs to live, to experience, to discover and to create, to understand again, to feel who it is, namely God. The oneness, the self-evident had been broken and would have to be fought again through the experience. What a miracle! This never existed before.
You often try to transcend the I-ness and come back to unity. That is the purpose of your spiritual quest.
But just think: from God’s perspective, being I is the miracle. Being connected, being ONE was the normal state, was the starting point.
In the wonder of being I, lies immense beauty, joy and creative power. The reason you do not experience this (yet) is that you are still struggling with your birth trauma as a soul. Somewhere deep in your consciousness still resounds that primal cry of pain and betrayal: the memory of being torn away from the Mother/Father, from the omnipresent Love, from God.
On your journey through time, through the experience, you have been through so much. You have tried all kinds of forms. Similarly, there were many incarnations in which you had a very different form from the human body,
but that does not matter now. Throughout this very long history, your motivation was always twofold: on the one hand there was the urge for renewal, exploration, creation, on the other hand there was nostalgia, the longing for home, the bottomlessness.
Because of the progressive piece within yourself, the energy that propelled you from the primordial womb, you have experienced much, created much.
But due to the unprocessed birth pain, a lot of trauma and disillusionment has also arisen in the soul at the same time. This is partly because during your travels through space and time you have also done things that you later regretted, things that you could put under the heading “bad” (in quotes).
These actions (which you later regretted) were merely the result of the intention to dive into the experience. The moment you decide to become an individual, to separate from the self-evident oneness, you cannot experience the Light alone. You will also experience the dark, you will experience everything there is, to all its extremes.
Especially in male/female relationships (love relationships), you often try to form a unity together, and to find a security in each other, which somewhat meets the primal state of being one,
At the point of evolution where you are now, you come to the realization that everything stands or falls with the ability to really dare to be an I , really your own strength and divinity
At the point of evolution where you now stand, you come to realize that everything stands or falls with the ability to truly dare to be an I, to truly embrace your own strength and divinity, and experience joy and abundance from there. In the moment of birth, in the moment when you sank into a feeling of abandonment and pain, you felt small and insignificant.
From that moment on you started looking for something to save you, a power or force outside of you, a god, a leader, a partner, a child, etcetera. In the awakening phase you are now in, you are discovering that the primordial security you long for is not to be found in a God outside of yourself, nor in a mother, a father, a loved one, in short in any relationship. then. How strong this desire,
For the God in whom you believe, the God whom you have received from tradition and who still shapes your thinking and experience so strongly, is a God who is outside of you. It is a God who plans things for you, who prepares a way for you.
But that God does not exist. You are God, you are that creative part of God that has decided to set out and experience as an I, trusting that you would be able to heal the primordial wound of birth within yourself.
You could say that the outreaching energy of exploring, of wanting to experience, is the masculine, while the energy of unity, the connection, being at home, is the feminine energy. These energies are at the core of who you are. You are as soul neither man nor woman. You are essentially male and female.
With these two ingredients you are on your way. And now the time has come to let these two energies work together in harmony, that is, to experience true wholeness within yourself. After that very long road of experience you have come to the realization that in the end there is nothing for it but to be the God you long for.
This is the ultimate breakthrough to self-awareness: realizing that you yourself are the God you long for. There is nothing outside of you that can take you to the core of your own power, your own wholeness. It’s you, you always have been. You’ve always been waiting for you.
Realizing this creates such a joy, such a sense of homecoming, that all your relationships with others come to be seen in a new light.
For example, you are less affected by what others say to you. If someone else criticizes or mistrusts you, you no longer automatically apply this to yourself. You leave it with the other, and you don’t have to react so strongly to it neither inwardly nor outwardly.
When you are easily moved emotionally by what someone else thinks of you or says about you, it indicates that there is an inner self-doubt that makes you believe in negative views of others. You do not solve this self-doubt by seeking out the conflict with the other, but only by going within and making contact with the emotional wounds within yourself. These are much older than this particular moment of rejection.
In essence, all rejection pain, all relationship pain, goes back to that original, misunderstood birth pain.
Now it seems that I am taking a very big step, because there are all kinds of complications and situations in relationships that seem to indicate that the cause is closer. That your pain is caused by something your partner has done or failed to do, by what a parent of yours has done or failed to do, in short: that it is something outside of you that is causing the pain.
This makes you think that the solution lies in the behavior of the other person. But I tell you, you are essentially healing an ancient pain within yourself, and if you are not aware of it, you easily get involved in relationship dramas, which are extremely painful.
Especially in male/female relationships (love relationships), you often try to form a unity together, and to find a security in each other, which somewhat corresponds to the primal state of oneness, which you remember somewhere.
Subconsciously in relationships you are looking for this comfortable being wrapped in a blanket of love and unconditional acceptance.
There is a child within you that is crying out for that unconditional recognition, and when this child wraps its arms around the child in another person, in your partner, all too often this leads to a wood grab that becomes extremely painful.
What happens is that you become emotionally dependent on the other and that you will need the love or approval of the other for your well-being. Dependence always gives rise to a quest for power, a need for control over the other.
This is the beginning of a destructive relationship. Giving up your individuality in a relationship, guided by an unconscious memory of absolute oneness you once experienced, is destructive towards yourself and the other.
True love between two people shows two energy fields that can function completely independently of each other. They are one-in-themselves and connect with the other based on that unity in themselves.
In relationships in which partners are dependent on each other, you see an uncoordinated striving for “organic oneness”: not wanting or being able to function without the other.
This leads to an energy entanglement that you can perceive in the auras as energy cords through which the partners feed each other with energies of dependence, power and addiction. This pattern indicates that you are not taking responsibility for yourself: for the soul wound in yourself that is much older than this relationship and that only you can heal.
In this regard I want to say something about karmic relations. By this I mean relationships between people who know each other from a previous life, in which they experienced intense emotions in relation to each other.
There was something unresolved about these emotions; there was guilt, fear, dependence, infidelity, anger, or the like. Because of this unresolved emotional charge, they attract each other again in another incarnation. The purpose of the reunion is to resolve the unresolved emotional issue.
This happens because the old way of dealing with each other first comes to life again in a short time (repeat of the old situation) and then both partners have the option of dealing with it in a different way. So the spiritual goal of the new encounter is that you make different choices now than in that previous life.
An example. A woman has had a husband in a past life who was very possessive and bossy. She let that pass for a while, but at one point decided that enough was enough and broke off the relationship. Later, the man commits suicide. The woman repeats. She believes she is guilty. Shouldn’t she have given him another chance? She will carry this guilt with her for the rest of her life.
They meet again in a new life. There is a strange attraction between them. Initially, the man is extremely charming and she is the center of his attention. He venerates her. They get into a relationship. Now he is becoming more and more jealous and possessive. He suspects her of cheating. She is in an inner struggle.
She is angry and horrified that he is falsely accusing her, but she also experiences a strange compulsion to condone it, to give him another chance. He’s hurt inside, she thinks, and he can’t help having that separation anxiety with him. Maybe I can help him get over this. She finds apologies for her behavior, but in fact she pushes her boundaries. The relationship affects her self-esteem.
The most liberating choice for the woman now would be to end the relationship, and go her own way without feeling guilty. The man’s pain and fear are not her responsibility. His pain and her guilt have led to a destructive relationship. There was already a charge on this relationship from another life.
The meaning of the re-encounter is that the woman must learn to let go without feeling guilty and that the man must learn to stand on his own two feet emotionally. So breaking the relationship is the solution here. The solution to the woman’s karma lies in letting go of her guilt. The ‘mistake’ she made in her past life was not leaving the man, but feeling responsible for his suicide.
You recognize a karmic encounter because the other person seems immediately familiar or familiar to you. Often there is also a mutual attraction, something compelling ‘in the air’ that makes you want to be together and discover each other. If the opportunity is there, this strong attraction can develop into a love affair or a fierce crush. The feelings can be so intense that you think you have met the great love or your twin flame.
There is, however, a catch. There are also always problems in such a relationship, which will crop up sooner or later. Often the partners get involved in a struggle that contains the ingredients power and dependence. With this they repeat a drama that they recognize from a previous life.
They may have been lovers in a past life, parent and child, boss and subject, or some other type of relationship. But there has always been a pain that they have touched each other, through infidelity, abuse of power, or on the contrary too strong attachment. There has been a profound emotional encounter that has left unexplained scars and emotional damage.
So they know each other on a deep level. That is why the attraction and also the negative emotions can be so intense when they meet again in a new incarnation.
In most cases – spiritually speaking – it is intended that souls that have become energetically entangled with each other in this way, let go of each other and become ‘units-in-themselves’. In concrete words, karmic relationships in the sense we are discussing it here are usually not long-lasting, stable, loving relationships.
They are more often destructive relationships than healing relationships. Often the purpose of the meeting is simply that you manage to let go of each other now in love. That is something that has not been successful in one (or more) previous life(s), but now there is a new chance to let go of each other in love.
If you find yourself in a relationship that is characterized by intense emotions, a relationship that brings out a lot of sadness and pain in you but that you can’t break free from, realize that nothing forces you to be with the other person. Also realize that intense emotions more often indicate deep pain than mutual love.
The energy of love is essentially calm and tranquil, light and invigorating. It’s not heavy, exhausting and dramatic. When a relationship takes on these traits, it’s time to let go, not “work on it” again. Sometimes you think you should stay together because you have “something to work out together”.
Precisely the existence of karma you argue in order to still stick together. You are twisting the concept of karma here. Karma is not something you work out together, karma is something individual.
The karma that is there just asks that you let it go, that you withdraw from such a relationship in order to experience the wholeness within yourself. You solve karma alone, in and with yourself. The other can touch something in you.
But it is your own wounds and wounds that you encounter in yourself while you are in relationship with another. You are only responsible for yourself.
It is very important to realize this because it is one of the main pitfalls in relationships. You are not responsible for the other, the other is not responsible for you and the solution to your problems does not lie in the behavior of the other.
Sometimes you are so connected to the inner child of the other, the emotionally wounded part in the other, that you think you have to take responsibility for the child in the other. The other person does the same with you, but this is a dead end.
You will then honor the emotions of powerlessness and fear in another, while he/she will benefit more from you setting clear boundaries and standing up for yourself. Your destiny is to be whole and alone, all within yourself. That is the condition for a truly happy relationship.
Opposite destructive relationships are healing relationships. The hallmark of healing relationships is that the partners respect each other in their wholeness, their individuality and make no attempt to change the other.
They take great joy in each other’s presence, but do not feel discouraged, desperate, or lonely when the other is not with them. There is warmth, support and encouragement for each other, without trying to solve the other person’s problems.
There is freedom and tranquility in the relationship. Of course, from time to time misunderstandings arise. But the emotions are short-lived. There is forgiveness in both.
There is a heart connection between the partners, so that they tend not to take ‘missteps’ or mistakes of the other person personally and not to attach too much importance to them. Emotionally, both partners are independent. They do not derive their strength and well-being from the approval or presence of the other. The other does not fill something in their life but adds something to it.
In a healing relationship, the partners can also know each other from one or more previous lives. But then there is almost never an emotional karmic burden as discussed above.
The two souls may have known each other in a past life in a way that was essentially encouraging and supportive. As friends, partners, or as parent and child, they may have recognized each other as soul mates, and that creates an unbreakable bond over several lifetimes.
An example. A young man grows up in a poor family, somewhere in the Middle Ages. He is gentle and sensitive by nature, and doesn’t fit in very well with his environment. His family is made up of hardworking, rather rough people, who don’t like his dreamy ‘impractical’ nature. At a later age he enters the monastery. Here too he is not really happy, because life there is strictly regulated and there is little human warmth in dealing with each other. Yet here he regularly encounters a man who is ‘different’.
It is a higher-ranking priest, but who does not radiate anything authoritarian and takes a genuine interest in him. He sometimes inquires how he is doing, and assigns him some pleasant tasks such as working in the garden. Every time they look at each other, there seems strangely to be a recognition between them, something similar. There is warmth and love, unspoken. They don’t even meet that often in this life, yet the priest is a source of hope and encouragement to the younger man.
In the next life, this man is a woman. She’s soft and dreamy again. She has trouble standing up for herself. In adulthood she gets bogged down in a marriage to a man who is authoritarian and bossy. First she ‘fell’ for his outspoken powerful appearance, now she sees how his dominance restricts and oppresses her.
Yet she finds it very difficult to break free from him. At work she sometimes talks about it with a colleague, a man who is a bit older than her. He encourages her to stand up for herself and realize her deepest desires. Every time she speaks to him, she knows inside that what he says is true. Then, after much inner struggle, she divorces her husband. The contact with the colleague now changes. She develops feelings for him.
It turns out to be single. She feels so at home with him it seems as if they have known each other before. A relationship develops between them that is loving, relaxed and encouraging for both. The sympathy that flowed between them in a previous life now takes shape very clearly in a love affair.
This is a healing relationship. The woman has taken an essential step inwardly by leaving her husband and choosing for herself. With this she has confirmed her emotional independence. On that basis, a loving, balanced relationship with a like-minded person becomes possible.
Here I would also like to say something about the concept of twin souls, which is well known to all of you. The idea of twin flames is potentially very dangerous, because it can be interpreted in such a way that it fuels rather than dissolves the emotional dependence and ‘birth pain’ that is in everyone.
This happens when you take the concept of twin flame in such a way that there is another who complements you perfectly and makes you ‘whole’. This is the idea of the twin flame as other half. A disastrous idea. You then assume that you will find the unity and security that you deeply lack in another who is perfectly suitable for you.
This ‘immature’ idea of twin souls thus sees the souls as two halves that together form a unit. Usually it concerns a female and a male half. So not only does this idea suggest that you are imperfect in yourself, it also means that you are essentially ‘masculine’ or ‘feminine’.
You can see that this view of twin flames is spiritually disastrous. It makes you dependent on something outside of you. It denies the divinity of your being, which means that you are EVERYTHING, male and female,
and that you are whole and complete within yourself. It creates all kinds of illusions that take you further away from home. And by house I mean your own self, your God-being in yourself.No one is meant to be a significant other for the other.
Twin flames exist, yes, they exist, and they are literally what the word says: they are twins. They are souls with the same ‘root note’, or you could say with the same birth time, just like biological twins.
That birth time, that unique moment in place and time, stands for: a unique emotional charge or ‘tone’ in the soul that comes into existence. It is the same in both souls, yet they are complete units in themselves. They are not dependent on each other in any way. They are not male or female. They are literally ‘like minded’.
Why are there twin souls? Why do they exist? Aha… you often think that the reason for existence for something lies in a learning process that it brings about.
But that’s not the case with twin flames. The reason twin flames exist is not that you can learn anything from them.Twin souls have no function within duality.
You only meet your twin flame when you transcend duality. That is, when you identify again with the God within yourself, who is whole and undivided and who can take any form in duality that it pleases. You will meet Twin Flames again on the return journey home.
Let’s go back to the outward journey for a moment. The moment you leave the state of unity and become individual, you step into duality. Suddenly there is dark and light, big and small, sick and healthy, etc. etc. Reality is split. You no longer have a frame of reference for who you really are.
First you derived your identity from ‘being part-of-a-whole’. Now you are a loose particle that has lost the whole.
But now, unknown to you, there is going with you someone who is exactly like you, who keeps the same piece of unity as you, from before your birth. There is something that binds you together that is not of duality.
You have brought with you a piece of unity consciousness, which is exactly as present in form and content in your twin soul.
Now you are both going on a journey, a long journey, through many experiences. You both experience the extremes of duality, to gradually discover that your core or being is not within duality, but outside of it; in something that underlies it.
Once you realize this, the return journey begins. You gradually start to pay less attention to things that are outside of you: for example, power, fame, money, prestige. You understand more and more that it is not about what you experience, but how you experience it. You create your own happiness or misery through your state of consciousness. You will discover the power of your own consciousness.
When you have gone through all the valleys and peaks in experiencing yourself through duality, there comes a time when you meet your twin flame.
In that other you recognize yourself and through that recognition you become aware again of who you are deep down. The other is your frame of reference, in the sense that you see the purest of yourself reflected in the other. And this mirroring aids your return journey, helping you as an intermediate step or stepping stone between your individuality and your oneness with the divine.
In the end we are all one. We are carried by an energy that is the same in all of us. There is also individuality in all of us. The twin soul is the link between individual and unity. It is a conductive link. If you connect with your twin flame, consciously and concretely, this will lead to the creation of something new: a third energy is born from their togetherness. That energy always has something creative,
creative in it, and helps bring about unity on a larger scale than just the two of them. Twin flames feel innerly invited to anchor the unity consciousness more deeply on earth, in a way that suits them. In this way the twin soul love forms a connecting link between the ‘one’ (unique) being and the unity consciousness.
There is a deep inner bond between twins, but this does not alter the fact that they are complete units in their own right. Their coming together brings joy and love, their meeting creates creativity and self-actualization and they support each other without falling into the trap of emotional dependence or addiction.
The love between twin souls is not meant to complement and make each other whole, but to create something new: not two make one, but two make three.
Healing the cosmic birth pain
One day you will meet your twin flame – and let this inner knowing be enough. Furthermore, try not to entertain expectations that take you away from the here-and-now. What matters now is that you deeply realize that the security and the love you seek deep inside, that one essential security that you once knew in your soul,
that it lies within yourself. It is about realizing that that absolute self-acceptance cannot be given to you by anyone else, even if the other person would like it very much.
Not only in love relationships, but also in parent-child relationships, there is a temptation to want to find an absolute unity or security in the other. A parent who wants to see a child realize everything he has not done himself, or a child who hides away from the parent and sees the parent as his absolute refuge.
It is important to become aware of the underlying dynamics, the unconscious drives in your relationships, and to heal them in the light of your consciousness. The nostalgia for home is not solved by or in a relationship. To feel and know yourself in your full glory, in your full Light, that is the destination of your journey.
You will also not return to the state of unity from which you were born. This was an embryonic state. You are now becoming adult Gods. You are now creating a field of absolute security and love from within yourself and letting others share in it without forcing them, without forcing them. That is the essence of God: to be unconditional love and to spread it around you without any agenda, without any calculation.
I would like to ask you now to feel completely your own aloneness for a moment in silence. If you are surrounded by people, feel your I very strongly. Unconditionally you are that piece of God; this is not something that can be taken from you, it is a basic fact.
And feel how this fact can be a source of joy and strength. Feel this basic fact of being an I and accept it: yes, I am an I, I am separate. I can indeed connect, but I am also always me, me alone. You may think that in this fact lies loneliness and desolation,
but feel further, feel the strength and vitality, the wonder of being me. When you really say yes to your self, you feel self-confidence and faith, and based on that you create loving connections with others, which dissolves the loneliness and abandonment.
When feelings of loneliness and abandonment overwhelm you, take the child within yourself on your lap. Look at the wounded child in you. It longs for the absolute security it once knew, as an embryo. It wants to see that security reflected in the face of your partner, in the face of your child, in the face of your mother or father, in the face of a therapist……….
Then let that child see your own face.
You are there for that child. You are meant to heal and nurture that child in the most absolute way you can dream of.
I can’t do it for you, I can only point you in a direction. You yourselves are the saviors of yourselves.
Finally, I would like to ask you to feel our being together for a moment, not the I-being, but the togetherness, in a very free and unfettered way. Just feel the energies in this space, feel what brings us together. It’s a longing for wholeness.
Imagine that we are surrounded by the most powerful energy there is, the energy of your awakened Self, the energy of the angel within you. Let’s take a minute to feel that inside.