Picking up your life again, it all seems so easy. Everyone has their own way of doing that. You try to sort everything out for yourself and find a new purpose in your life. If you have lost something or someone, your life can change radically and you end up in a process of mourning. You can mourn anything, the loss of a job or relationship, the loss of a person or an animal that was very dear to you. Partly you long for the beautiful moments you had and you don’t want to believe that your life has made such a turn.
But it is the truth and you will have to face it, only everything takes time. Time to process things, heal and put everything in order. It goes through trial and error and there are days when you wish everything was different. You are angry, you feel guilty, you are sad or lonely. They are all feelings that pass in review and if you are not aware of them, it seems as if you have fallen into a deep valley. Not entirely illogical, given that the process of letting go can be quite intense for some. Nevertheless, it is a process that everyone undergoes, no matter how painful or difficult it may be.
It is important not to be too hard on yourself during this period and to take everything day by day. Also to take the moments of grief as they come and let the tears flow when the time comes. Let all your emotions run free. It’s okay to cry, it’s okay to be sad, and it’s okay to deal with it as everyone else does. No one is perfect and everyone does it in their own way. Some like to talk about it and some just withdraw. Each in his or her own time and in his or her own way.
When someone close to you goes through this process, it is difficult to target them, and sometimes you don’t know whether or not they want your help, whether or not they need a distraction or want alone time. From my own experience I know that although I always like to withdraw myself, I notice that I certainly need the distraction.
Because otherwise, I’ll get stuck in the whole process. Not everyone has time for you, but the people who take the time to help you in this process should be grateful and welcomed with open arms. Because those valuable moments help you with a bit of healing so that you can get through your process faster.
So try to keep your heart open in this whole process and try to receive the help that can help you further. But there are certainly moments that I need alone, to process everything and give it a place. To recharge me and put everything in order. It is important to find a balance in this, without losing yourself completely in the whole process.
Find your way again
Some days will seem bleak and there will be times when you will wonder why you are still doing the things you do. On other days it gets better. Sometimes it all seems to take ages and at other moments you think you are over it all. Every day is different in emotion, pain and feelings that go up and down.
Taking each day as it comes is the best way to stay in the flow. As soon as you feel a bit better, just try to pick up your life step by step. You can start with something small, but keep in mind that a relapse “can” always be in it. Try to get structure in your life again and pick up the things that put you back on track.
You may want to take a whole new direction, but realize that all is well. It is a process of trial and error and perhaps more trial and error than getting back up. But you will always come out stronger and you will always be able to cope with it better as the days go by.
It all just takes time, you all just need some time. In this society you are often expected to pick up your life again in no time, but the reality is that your grieving process is a large part of your healing process. You can’t just step over everything, as if nothing happened. Take refuge in your work or other things that you always do, because eventually your emotions will want to come out.
Your body reacts to everything
People often think that you can get over it quickly by picking up life again at a rapid pace and putting everything in a ‘cover-up’ or pretending nothing happened. But the body always reacts and sooner or later it will always catch up with you. Emotions remain trapped in the body and can manifest themselves physically as pain or illness that at some point arises.
It is often thought that certain diseases are hereditary, but for the most part, it is a creation that has been brought about. In this society, we have come to believe everything that has been or is said about certain diseases, without looking at the underlying problems. Stress is the biggest factor that can trigger certain illnesses, so it’s important to keep taking good care of yourself. Taking good care of yourself also means allowing everything in yourself to just be there.
And to live through everything you feel at that moment, without getting stuck in it. Because distraction can be really necessary at times to keep a certain lightness in life. But keep in mind that hiding things won’t bring you anything good in the end. Everything can stay in the flow, including your emotions.
This too shall pass
This period will also pass and you will eventually be able to view this period in a different way. Maybe you will even be grateful and see it as a nice learning process, but then I’m talking about the moment when you are over everything. It is important to keep in mind that life consists of beautiful and less beautiful moments.
It is an art to deal with that and to find a balance. Not to let yourself be consumed by the entire process, but to go along with the moment. Allowing everything at every moment and continuing to have faith that it will all get better. Life is like a tightrope on which you balance, one moment you fall off and the next you walk stably on the tightrope.
My life has been anything but roses, but because of that, I know how to bounce back faster. Because I know that everything is temporary, and better times will come even if I don’t see it. I also know how painful a process is, and I too can get stuck in it. But the more aware I am and remain and the more I allow myself to be, the faster I will go through a process.
I also slowly pick up my life at these moments, by setting goals again and, for example, picking up my sports again, writing blogs, or making plans. Step by step, until I have a bit more routine again. I don’t get any more than that at the time, but that’s good too. It goes step by step. I realize very well that this is the process I am in.
Are you also in such a process? Don’t forget to be kind to yourself, keep your heart open and take it as it comes. And while you do that, you keep realizing that this too will pass and better times ahead for you. Give it time, give yourself time, because I do too. Everyone should be allowed to do that.