Not so long ago I received the following painful email from one of my readers:
“ We were so incredibly happy together for three years. We took time for each other, did fun things together and if things didn’t go well, we always worked out together by communicating well.
I saw him as the man of my dreams. Nothing in our relationship could go wrong until I found out he cheated on me. To this day I don’t get it at all.
Our relationship was perfect and couldn’t be broken. Why on earth would he even dare to do such a thing? You sometimes start to wonder why men cheat .”
First let me say:
I know how it feels and it hurts.
Cheating belongs to the dark side of love and relationships. Both men and women can be victims of adultery.
It is therefore not surprising that this reader in question is not the only one who wonders why her partner has cheated.
It is sometimes said that men chase their dicks and while it is true that men love sex, this is only part of the story.
There is much more behind the adultery behavior of men that you may not have thought of at first glance.
In this article you will learn Reasons Why Men Cheat:
- About the 7 notable reasons why men cheat
- The link between evolution and adultery
- Why superman should never cheat on you
- Which classic Dutch proverb you should remember for a good relationship
- What to do if he has fear of commitment
- And much more…
Reasons Why Men Cheat
Here are some top lists Reasons:
Reason 1: What evolution has to do with cheating
Although we often think that we have outgrown our monkey ancestors, we unfortunately still have a lot of weird old traits in our subconscious that influence you and me in all kinds of ways.
That’s why it’s important to go back in time, to understand why he sometimes behaves so strangely, and even why he cheats.
When you understand this, a lot will suddenly become much clearer.
So let’s go back in time together.
A million years to be exact 😉
We have arrived in prehistoric times and I warn you: everything is dangerous. There will be hunting for dinner tonight. Walking into the Albert Heijn with your bonus card is not an option for a while.
Hunting for food was usually done by men. However, that was not all men hunted.
You may already feel it coming:
Males hunted females to reproduce themselves.
In a dangerous time like prehistoric times, reproduction was very necessary for the survival of the species. Women were able to conceive a limited number of times and their fertility period was also shorter.
The woman had the important task not only to bring the child into the world, but also to ensure that the child in question could grow up safely.
For optimal survival of the species, the male’s job was to reproduce with as many females as possible. In short: monogamy is not exactly in prehistoric man.
By nature, the man is not “programmed” to stay with one woman. To some extent, it’s in the genes.
And speaking of genes…
RESEARCH shows that people who have parents who have committed adultery are also more likely to cheat themselves. In addition, men who have friends who cheat are also more likely to commit adultery themselves.
In both cases this is because the man in question lives under the illusion that cheating is ‘normal’, because people close to them (parents or friends) are also cheating.
But let one thing be clear.
I’m definitely not trying to take it up on my peers here. We no longer live in prehistoric times and prehistoric behavior is therefore no reason to excuse cheating.
In many cases, cheating cannot be linked back to prehistoric times. Cheating is usually the result of certain mistakes made in the relationship.
The following reasons are based on those errors. Read them carefully so you never have to make those mistakes again.
Reason 2: He feels undervalued
You know what most men have in common?
And no, it’s not the love of football or the car we have in our garage 😉
Here it comes:
What most men have in common is a huge…
Because men have such a big ego, they are constantly looking for appreciation. This appreciation must be present, especially in a relationship.
Don’t you give him this rating?
I’m sorry, dear reader, but in that case there is a good chance that he will seek the appreciation from someone else.
In addition, the man is not only looking for appreciation in intercourse, but also between the sheets.
More about that in the next tip ;).
The question now is: how do you ensure that a man feels optimally valued?
Lucky for you, I have an answer to that question.
Make him feel like he’s your superman. You can do this in the following ways:
- Give him plenty of compliments.
- Ask him to help you lift those heavy boxes. After all, he is so strong ;).
- Laugh at his jokes.
- If he did something wrong, you can say so. However, NEVER knock him down.
- Tell him he’s different from all the other men.
If you start treating him in these ways, he will feel like superman. Every time he’s with you.
And superman would never cheat on you ;).
Reason 3: Sexual dissatisfaction
You may have once said the following phrase yourself, or heard one of your friends say it:
“All men are only out for sex”
Now I’d like to admit that we men really do love sex. Just like most women.
But you’ll be surprised to find that men rarely cheat for sexual reasons.
In fact, only 8 percent of all men who cheat are based on sexual dissatisfaction.
But, as said, yes it is true that men love sex. And the last thing you want is a partner who becomes part of that 8 percent because he is sexually dissatisfied with you.
Fortunately, this can be easily prevented. Unfortunately, it often happens that couples do not communicate well sexually.
However, it is very important to clearly discuss with each other what you like/dislike between the sheets and what your possible wishes are in this area. Only in this way can you feel each other best and enjoy an optimal sex life.
In addition, there is another very important thing to remember.
Here it comes: let him know that you enjoy him.
Look, sex is important to a man, but it’s 1000x more important for him to notice that you love him. That you want him.. And that YOU enjoy the sex. Only then will he be satisfied. He wants to feel like he’s driving you crazy.
Reason 4: He is dissatisfied with the relationship
The hardworking man has a busy, turbulent life.
He experiences stress at work, he is busy all day and he is exhausted after a long day.
Fortunately, he has something beautiful to look forward to after that long day…
And that is none other than you.
The perfect woman who is always there for him and loves him. The woman who makes him feel like a superhero after every day.
If you can arouse this feeling in a man, he will never leave you.
But if he comes home after a long day and there is already a fight? Then there is no man (or woman) who can ever sustain that in the long term.
Chances are that he will look for a happy relationship with someone else.
Fortunately, you are lucky that you are reading this 😉 Below I have a number of points so that you can ensure that your relationship does go well and he does not want to leave you:
- Take the time for each other regularly.
- Give him time and space regularly, especially after you’ve just had an argument.
- When arguing, often two people are to blame. Find out where YOUR part in the conflict was and apologize for it. If he doesn’t apologize right away, respect this and wait.
- Continue to take good care of your appearance.
- Keep him happy between the sheets.
Reason 5: Your fear that he is cheating is too great
Suppose you have a boyfriend and you think he’s perfect:
he is sweet, it clicks on every level between you and he looks good too.
In short, the perfect match ;).
Unfortunately for you, Mr. Perfect also has a lot of attention from other women. And that’s not surprising at all: after all, he’s so cute!
But the attention he gets from other women does frustrate you…
And therein lies a big problem.
Look, many women are afraid that their partner will cheat on them one day. For that reason, their concern grows…
In fact, the concern grows so strong that they start doing strange things..
Because because of the concern, they are constantly looking for confirmation that he is not cheating on you.
This makes you do weird things like look through his phone, constantly check on him or even accuse him of cheating. Even if this is not the case!
If you recognize yourself in this, I have a very important announcement for you:
“ Trust is the most important building block of a relationship”
This is the case for both men and women. If this trust is not there, your relationship will fall apart like a house of cards.
In addition, your man will soon look for trust elsewhere.
In short, extreme suspicion is a recipe for adultery.
And of course, dear reader, nobody wants that.
It may sound a bit paradoxical, but be proud that your guy is so popular with other women.
That only proves more that you really hit a nice man 😉
And think back to the second tip in this article: men have a big ego.
Some men are constantly trying to steal this ego by seeking validation from other women through a game of innocent flirting.
And that doesn’t have to be a big deal for you…
Be aware that that one nice man has also chosen you . As long as the relationship is going well and you regularly take the time to discuss any frustrations, it’s no use cheating on you.
Do you think the flirting is going too far or is it irritating you?
In that case, don’t make a scene out of it. Briefly let it be known that you disapprove of his behavior.
This can be done very easily by saying the following sentence:
“ Gosh, I find it very unattractive if you keep doing that”
Not anymore. Not less. If there’s one thing men don’t like, it’s drama.
And in a relationship where trust is present, there is no room for drama
Reason 6: He doesn’t want to commit to you
Have you ever met a man who constantly talked about his fear of commitment?
I have a small, surprising secret about these types of men…
Often these men have no fear of commitment.
These guys are trying to lead someone on and using a fear of commitment as an excuse.
This is because men who have a real fear of commitment often do not talk about their fear of commitment.
They’re talking about nothing. They don’t let go of anything.
This group of men shuts down emotionally. They never talk about their problems. It’s the kind of guy where you’re never sure what’s really going on in their head.
Not only is this very annoying in itself, but these types of men are also more likely to cheat.
In this case, it doesn’t matter how good the relationship is, how nice you are to him and how often you are there for him.
This man feels trapped. He’s too scared to commit and isn’t really ready for a relationship at all.
There’s something you really have to remember about these guys
Men with fear of commitment are often emotionally out of order. This can be due to pent-up frustrations or bad past experiences that he has never been able to express himself with.
He may have been abandoned by a loved one. or he has been cheated on in a previous relationship.
Instead of talking about it and solving his problems, this pain from the past manifests itself in nasty, unhealthy ways that cheating is one of them.
If you are dealing with a man with fear of commitment, I advise you to be very careful with this and to keep enough distance.
Reason 7: He wants a relationship with someone else
He’s been aloof for a while. He hardly speaks up anymore and he no longer has time to meet up with you.
He says he’s busy. In his spare time he is often with his friends.
But after a while it has become perfectly clear to you…
He’s always with someone else. He found another woman. You feel cheated, angry and your heart literally hurts.
It almost feels like you’ve been replaced by someone else. The worst part is that he didn’t even tell you about your new crush himself, but you found out about it.
This, dear reader, is a true horror scenario. I sincerely hope you never have to go through something like this.
Fortunately, there is also good news.
This horror scenario is less common than you might think. Many women I coached were afraid that a man would cheat because he fell in love with someone else.
However, the truth is that if it really is, he’s already told you that.
If there is a healthy relationship, but unlucky for you he has fallen in love with someone else, then the man has often ended the relationship long before committing adultery.
Nevertheless, it is of course very sad that he has fallen in love with someone else. If this is the case, there is often very little that can be done.
Realize that he may have fallen in love with someone else because he lacked certain things in you. Examples of this could be a lack of attention or appreciation (see reason 2!).
However, if you follow the tips in this article, the chances of him falling in love with someone else are very slim.
But there are even more ways to make a man fall in love with you.
In fact… if you are familiar with the 3 links in the male brain, you can make a man go crazy for you.
He will only be able to think of you and fall madly in love with you.
So that you can drop that one nice man for you and he will never leave you for another woman.
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- Is he no longer interested? The 4 reasons and solutions
- Can He Be Trusted? Watch Out For These 10 Dangerous Signals!