3 Signs To Recognize A Narcissistic Anger Attack

Signs To Recognize A Narcissistic Anger Attack

Do you think you are dealing with a narcissist in your life?

Living with a narcissist is hard enough on its own…

But it can also be very dangerous for your mental health.

Narcissistic anger can easily turn into blind rage and dangerously destructive behavior.

I understand the feeling!

That is why I want to prepare you as best as possible by telling you how to recognize the signals.

After reading this article you will know how to deal  with a narcissistic tantrum.

What is Narcissistic Anger?

Narcissistic anger is a phenomenon that often results from a narcissist feeling threatened in his or her self-esteem.

We know that narcissists feel too good for others and consider it normal to make themselves feel better at the expense of another.

Out of deep insecurity, they put on a kind of mask of stubbornness that forms the narcissistic personality disorder.

So little things can unleash the narcissistic rage.

Often the reason doesn’t seem so strong to others, but to the narcissist it seems like everything they stand for is being questioned.

And that it is a direct attack on the person.

It can be an explosive anger, but also a passive aggressive anger in which the narcissist reacts in a villainous way.

It manifests itself in various forms. But whatever form it is, it’s something you need to get away from as soon as possible.

It is a situation that can cause you a lot of damage.

Where does narcissistic anger come from?

As mentioned above, the anger comes from things that other people usually wouldn’t find hurtful, but then what?

For example, the narcissist can’t stand being rejected at all. And that can be about small things.

If the narcissist makes a romantic advance that you don’t reciprocate, it could be seen as a declaration of war.

The narcissist feels the best and considers himself special. A rejection is then as if the narcissist ends up back in reality with a blow, because you think that person is very normal.

The narcissist may also erupt in anger if they think you don’t give enough compliments. They think it’s very normal that people always say that they are so good.

narcissistic rage attack

If you see through that and make the narcissist feel normal, as it were, that can also be seen as something negative.

And one of the main causes of narcissistic anger is criticizing the narcissist. The narcissist thinks that they always do everything right.

Even if something is clearly their fault they will still find it is not because of them but because of someone else, often because of you.

If you criticize them, they think you’re playing the man and targeting them, causing the narcissist to get on the defensive.

In addition, an annoying comment can make them feel like they’re out of their shoes, it affects their self-esteem.

These are all kinds of triggers for narcissists to get angry, but how do you know you’re dealing with narcissistic anger?

Alarming Signs of Narcissistic Anger

It is important to recognize the signs of narcissistic anger in order to deal with it.

It manifests itself in various forms, however, knowing what you are dealing with will help you better protect yourself and those around you.

First, remember that narcissistic anger doesn’t always manifest itself right away. The narcissist can also add up many small things in the head and then come to an eruption.

Signal 1: Passive aggressive behavior

Passive aggressive behavior is a common expression of anger.

If they feel attacked, they can respond with small annoying actions.

For example, only get the things they need in the supermarket.

Or telling nasty lies about you to your friends, colleagues or family to try to belittle you as a form of retaliation.

Signal 2: Aggressive showers

Aggressive moods are also a warning that you are dealing with narcissistic anger.

For example, you haven’t done the dishes yet because you still have some work to do.

Before you know it, cutlery and the dishcloth are thrown at you, ‘why haven’t the dishes been done yet’ screams the narcissist.

Or the narcissist storms at you threateningly over something very small.

Signal 3: Terror Campaigns

One of the strongest manifestations of narcissistic anger is violence that repeats itself regularly.

If you are dealing with a terror campaign, it poses direct danger to yourself and to those around you.

If they really feel cornered in their self-esteem, a narcissist does not shy away from this form of anger.

That’s life-threatening isn’t it? It is best to distance yourself from the narcissist as soon as possible, but if that fails, you can also learn to deal with the narcissist and the narcissistic anger.

5 Tips for Dealing and Recognize A Narcissistic Anger Attack

You cannot predict or control the narcissistic anger.

However, that doesn’t mean you should just let it get to you and feel bad about it.

There are ways to let it affect your self-confidence as little as possible.


Tip 1: Threaten to leave the person

According to Sam Vaknin , self-proclaimed narcissist and author of Malignant Self-Love, the easiest way to confront is to abandon or threaten to abandon him.

The threat to leave can be vague and need not be conditional (“If you do or don’t do something, I will leave you”).

When confronting a narcissist, be persistent and yell back.

He or she can be controlled by the exact weapons he uses to overpower others. You can get back at the narcissist with your own weapons.

Tip 2: Ignore the narcissist whenever possible

It can be very tempting to yell back if the narcissistic anger comes from a reason you think is unfair.

However, that plays into the hand of the narcissist because he is looking for your vulnerability.

Although it is inadmissible behavior, it is still better to ignore it at the time .

If you see the false behavior, count to 10 and step back for a moment.

Find a quiet place, take a deep breath, and disconnect your emotions from the situation before going into it. Often the anger is so superficial that getting worked up over it isn’t worth it.

Tip 3: Stay persistent

Once you’ve learned to ignore the narcissist, stick with it.

The narcissist often resorts to the same tactics to make you feel better about your back, make sure you recognize the situations and that you respond to them in time.

Don’t let the narcissist determine your life and happiness, but show that you are in control of your own emotions.

Even if the narcissist may be right about something you’re not doing right, or have done right, they have no right to make you feel bad about it.

The narcissist is not looking for a solution for you, so don’t get caught up in the emotion of the moment.

Tip 4: Set your personal boundaries

The boundaries we set are an important part of our values ​​and life.

The narcissist hates that because it’s something they can’t control so it’s very important to do.

Take time for yourself to find out what you accept and what falls outside of any norm for you.

Once you’ve determined that, the next step is to stick to it no matter what. It is important to clearly indicate those boundaries.

Signs To Recognize A Narcissistic Anger Attack

Be assertive in your behavior, communicate it well and keep repeating it.

You can’t expect them to listen to you, but keep making it clear that you won’t be overrun again, and maintain your self-esteem.

Tip 5: Protect yourself

Perhaps one of the hardest things is to feel that you always have the right to protect yourself.

That you yourself are the most important. It is not always possible to avoid the narcissistic anger, but choose for yourself.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a partner or a family member, no one has the right to make you angry or scared, belittle you or make you feel bad.


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