Selfcare: the color pink helps you to be more kind to yourself!

Selfcare: the color pink helps you to be more kind to yourself!
‘Be kind to yourself!’ I say it so often to my coachees and my friends when they once again set the bar way too high. Busy, busy, busy, and living in your head is very normal. Feeling and doing what feels right is difficult. But how nice is it if you allow it to be a little softer? As the may-it-slightly-softer coach, that makes me happy! I know better than anyone how important feeling is. Especially because it helps me more and more with my work. But, how do you do that; be kind to yourself?

I used to have none of it

Until a few years ago, I liked it when you were kind to yourself. It reminded me of a former friend who kept canceling appointments and said, ‘I’m so tired, I’m canceling the appointment. I have to be kind to myself a little.’ She often called in sick, was always a little angry at the world around her and felt like a victim. So if she didn’t show up again and opted for an evening on the couch and was nice to herself in her eyes, then I was done with it.

Then what?

Selfcare: the color pink helps you to be more kind to yourself!

To be kind to yourself is not to appease yourself, but to pay attention to what you need. And don’t get me wrong; sitting on the couch is wonderful, with a glass of wine and a snack, but hiding and stuffing yourself is not being kind to yourself. At least, that’s how I experience it. It’s selling yourself short. In my experience, being kind to yourself is much more about valuing yourself. What do I really need and what can I do about it? Even if it is just a small step.

What are other women saying?

I asked the women in my community: How do you love yourself?

Marrit: ‘If I forget myself for a moment, or if I’m having a hard time, I consciously wear pink and the pink duvet cover comes out of the closet.’

And others say: mess around, do nothing or brush.

Striking in their answers is that they opt for small and often homely things. For messing around, moving things around and making everything nicer in the house. Cleaning is high on the list. Not surprising, because when you clean the rooms, you also tidy up the rooms in your head. Give thoughts space and let them fly out through the open window. What a breath that gives. Or even ironing with a podcast and thus removing the wrinkles from life, ironing out, that is also high in the love-to-yourself top 10. And cooking; baking a cake, slow cooking or simmering meat. It seems like it’s about paying attention and taking the rush out of life.

Alone on the road

What is also nice is reading in a coffee shop. Have and take the time for a nice magazine or a good book. Marieke consciously opts for the reading café in the library with a magazine and a Latte. That way you are also completely free of roommates who come in between or a laptop or telephone.

Sandra: ‘When I plan a day or afternoon, music is played in the background. Is there no need but allowed, fidgeting but also just doing a job. Or get lost in a beautiful book, or forget the time’

Consciously make space in your agenda

Cindy consciously chooses space in her agenda and writes what she is going to do in pink letters. She doesn’t really care, as long as it’s something nice for herself. It is important to her because she has experienced the consequences of going on and on through burnout. It helps her to be kind to herself and lower the bar.

Selfcare: the color pink helps you to be more kind to yourself!

Feeling without judgment

Another wonderful way is to give yourself space for your emotions, in peace:
– Crying forgotten tears during a me-time walk, because there was no space before.
– Being angry and stamping through the leaves in the forest, because there was no place during the meeting.
– Singing and dancing through the polder when you realize that you have met a deadline and have really not thought about it.

Feel retroactive. How cool is that? Not the prettiest way, but it’s great to still give that attention to what’s going on.

Jacqueline: ‘When I reach for black for a few days, I pause to consider why. It turns out to be a real thermometer, because I quickly descend towards depression in black. As nice as it looks, I still ask myself how/which color I would rather feel.


No surprise to me that pampering yourself very often comes with pink or green. It is the color of the heart and makes everything softer, finer, more beautiful, sweeter, and above all less tough. So buy flowers, blankets, pillows, and fine lingerie. Pink is the color can it be a little softer? Surrounding yourself with pink immediately release all your muscle tension and comforts you where there was no attention before. Pink is the color of being who you are and that’s totally fine.

And you? How does it work for you? What is the ultimate can-it-slightly-softer tip? My tip to you for the coming winter period is this one I choose pink


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