Marriage is like a besieged fortress: those who are outside want in, those who are inside want out. Due to the many personal ads, a partner relationship seems attractive, on the other hand we also find marriage difficult, given the number of divorces.
What is a spiritual relationship?
- A spiritual relationship is a sacred connection
- Sacred energies enter through the channels of the connections between people.
- The Christ power is present and active when 2 or more people are gathered in the spirit.
You can experience this especially when you meditate together. Then you feel that power flow. This power flow is more than the sum of the number of people present. The spiritual forces then become palpably active.
Everything on Earth is duality. So there is also the opposite. People are actually capable of hurting each other in relationships.
A prerequisite for a relationship is vulnerability. You can’t keep that vulnerability away from you. You cannot build walls that you can build towards other people. It is precisely in this vulnerability that people are able to mutilate each other.
How do you ensure that those channels remain sacred?
For through those channels come pure energies, but also demonic ones.
Miracles can happen in relationships. Just look at love. You see people blossom in playfulness and openness, in trust and vulnerability.
After the infatuation comes another reality.
In the past, children and older people slept together in box beds. You often saw that a young child who slept with a sick grandparent also slowly became ill. The spiritual bodies intertwined with each other, the elder withdrew the energy from the child, which the child so desperately needed for himself. That made it sick.
So it is with all relationships, there is an exchange of energy, especially at night. You are invisibly connected. You share each other’s strengths. For example, after a night’s sleep you can suddenly gain an insight, which has been obtained through exchange. But fears are also passed on.
The more open you are, the better spiritual forces work.
It also works in the same way with the Christ power, which can also work better if the receiving channel is more open.
You also see it on lecture days. People are gathered and opening up. We are then touched by Christ himself. This is felt by everyone. Gradually our body becomes one. A column rises slightly. This light consists of open-mindedness and openness.
This light becomes visible to the angels and the dead. They come to it. They want to protect and enhance this light. That is why it is so important to connect purely with the other. Then “knowing” can be deposited in us.
When it comes to greed and self-interest, dark creatures are drawn to it. The negative tendencies are then reinforced.
So: be aware of relationships!
In our time, great changes are taking place in the field of human relations:
Divorce was rare among the older generation. They could stand it together, if necessary they said nothing to each other. Now it is no longer possible to hold on together against better judgement. Why pledge allegiance to one another until death do us part? It is better to promise each other faithfully until the love is there.
If that love is no longer there, it may be better to let go of each other. Perhaps it is a karmic assignment. Promise each other to keep love alive. That is an important way to show loyalty and commitment. Don’t promise each other something you can’t keep.
You see young people experimenting in relationships before making a final choice.
The sexual revolution has made us accept more that sex outside of marriage is also possible. Even people who are alone have a need for sexuality, this is being touched. It’s not about flatness, of course.
We learn in this time to discuss the things that are bothering us earlier, before they pop out and thereby hurt the other person unnecessarily. If we can’t communicate this yet and swallow it anyway, then we distance ourselves from each other. It is therefore important in our time to enter into confrontations. To say what is bothering you, through I-messages. The skill is offered to us in every possible way, such as through courses.
Contraceptives have made it possible to separate sex from pregnancy.
This is the age of the Archangel Michael. Everyone notices the consequences. We are much more difficult to “swallow” than the previous generation. It no longer works for us. That which bothers us finds a way out, for example in a quarrel.
Communication is an important point of attention. Everyone has pieces in which he is dominant towards the other. Be aware of that. Find out where your dominance lies.
There is a growing trend towards equality. We will revolt at some point, wherever there is power and manipulation in relationships. Michael also brings this about.
What does it take to be equal?
* have a healthy sense of equality
* do not sacrifice your own life for the other. That is going to wring, there are feelings of: “I’m still here too!”
* Affirm each other in self-esteem. You grow from compliments. Relationships are meant to reinforce each other.
* it is about respect and appreciation.
In our time we discover that karma and reincarnation play a role in relationships. Many relationships are karmically determined. Especially the relationships in the first half of your life are karmically determined. This is useful to know. You better understand that some relationships can be so fierce.
Then comes the realization to break the karmic pattern and let it go. Try to get past it. Edgar Cayce has given many examples of this. The karmic law is this: what you have done to another comes back to you in some way. Relationships that develop after menopause are often unburdened. They make new developments possible.
Today there is a strong desire for authenticity.
We no longer accept it when someone pulls a wall around them, so that you always have to communicate indirectly or that you have to guess something. We are touched when people, with tears, express their innermost being. New at this time is the growing psychological insight and the possibility of self-reflection. We have come to understand more and more things about relationships. We are getting to know our own shadow side, our immature side. These always work out negatively in relationships.
Through insight and awareness it is possible to transform relationships.
We are moving from an atmosphere of kinship to an atmosphere of kinship at this time. It’s more about being able to communicate heart to heart.
That is why you see more fractures in the sphere of consanguinity. We are looking for more and more spiritual brothers and sisters. These are our load bearing contacts. So now it’s more about other relationships. We are now in that transition.
What exactly is a relationship?
In the Catholic Church, marriage is a sacrament and primarily intended to beget and raise children.
Legally, marriage is a contract or agreement between two people.
Psychologically, marriage is seen as the scene of emotional and sexual urges.
From a spiritual point of view, marriage (but of course other relationships as well) is the best, but also the most difficult school of learning there is. They are often necessary life lessons to be able to grow further. So human relationships are a gift.
What can you do for each other in relationships?
- Don’t expect too much from each other. The “pink cloud” is not permanent. It’s about how you get on with each other once the pink cloud has lifted. Relationships go through phases of growth, just like the laws of child-to-adult development.
- Accept that there are phases in relationships.
- You can bear each other’s karmic burdens, especially by hearing each other’s stories. If you understand each other’s burdens, you can also be more patient. Insight into processes is important, because that means you don’t judge so quickly.
- You can learn to each other in a playful way. You become more sensitive to what is going on with the other person. You even start taking things from each other.
By asking each other questions and asking yourself why the other is the way it is, there will be more understanding, love and patience. So it is mainly about involvement in relationships. In addition, respect for each other is the pokon for life.
- You can give each other security, so that the other can take shelter with you. You don’t always have to be strong. You don’t always have to give.
All relationships should have the keynote of security.
- Listening to each other is important. Don’t copy the other person’s story. Hold on with your own stuff. Only respond to what the other person is saying. Try to understand the other person as best as possible by asking questions. Then the channel between you remains open. Check whether what you have heard has been well understood by you.
You can practice this by giving each other fifteen minutes to speak.
- Describe the deepest being of the other. Be aware of her or his deepest secret. Don’t focus on the ego traits of the other person. It soon becomes a sum of irritating ego traits. Connect with the deepest of the other, then you will become warm inside.
- Remember that you are not each other’s therapist. Often you want your partner to understand everything about you and help you with that. That is not possible, because a therapist is completely there for you, who professionally swallows his own things. In partnership you keep your own feelings. Moreover, you are in equality with each other. A therapeutic relationship is by definition never equal.
Sometimes you can’t comfort each other because partners deal with their grief in their own way. This especially happens in grieving situations.
The divorce rate is higher in marriages where a child has died.
- For every relationship, the freedom that partners learn to give each other is essential. Coercion, moral pressure, blackmail and all those other subtle ways of making each other conform to your image of the other, ask to be transformed into freedom.
Silence is the greatest form of blackmail. Dare to be vulnerable. It is better to say where the other hurts you.
Giving each other freedom is a big task, because it requires self-knowledge and the ability to be critical of yourself.
- Give each other room to change. We all change. That directly affects the other.
Women often complain that their husbands do not change. Men often complain that their wives do change. All problems in relationships are joint problems.
Do not speak in reproach. If you keep it to yourself, say what it does to you, the other person often wants to come along. Don’t put the problem on someone else. Try to unravel the problem together.
- The willingness to get to know yourself is necessary in a relationship. You hold up a mirror to each other. Look honestly in the mirror that the other person holds up to you. If you don’t, your relationship will often break. If you can look at the other like: what does the other have to teach me? What did he/she mirror me? Then you keep your relationship open.
- Live your own life, don’t live the life of your relationship. Everyone has their own life mission. Make room for every track.
What is love? What is love?
- Constantly being touched and moved by the deeper being of the other. This is only possible if you dare to be and remain vulnerable towards the other. It requires mutual commitment to make that lasting emotion possible.
- Growing together. This becomes visible because you sometimes say or think the same thing at the same time, and it becomes visible when partners start to resemble each other.
- Being willing to take care of each other, to make a sacrifice. This should never become stifling. Find a balance in this.
- Protecting each other’s life purpose. Have you understood each other’s (karmic) life mission? You can help each other to develop.
- Knowing your responsibility for each other’s growth, each other’s history and each other’s spiritual development.
The top 8 annoyances:
- television< who manages the channels?
- other people
- the kids
- always busy
- old very
Differences between men and women:
Men are more goal-oriented, more businesslike. They want to make it happen.
Women are more sensitive to atmosphere, they are more intuitive and receptive.
Problems in the relationships
- You are each other’s mirror and thus bring out each other’s unprocessed experiences and each other’s dark sides. For example, your tendency to possessiveness or your fear of arguing and therefore your tendency to adapt; or your inability to give yourself real attention and therefore inability to give real attention to the other person; or your inability to express yourself and thus your inability to truly share and be small.
- The tension between security and challenge. It can be boring in a relationship, but there can also be too many impulses.
- Some people got into a relationship too early and haven’t learned to stand on their own two feet. This is risky, because the experimentation phase has been skipped. The part that has been skipped still wants to be experienced. That could pay off.
- The agreement whether or not you want children. This is often a problem in second marriages. This should be clear.
- Don’t let relationships slip. They ask for maintenance. Give them optimal shape in attention and energy.
- Menopause is an important stage in a person’s life. If something essential has grown in the relationship, it will survive this transformation.
Can you divorce? Can you break with relationships?
Sometimes you have to get a divorce. When angels can no longer work in our channels and only lower forces can join, a relationship is destructive. Nobody benefits from that. It’s a new idea for our culture that something doesn’t have to be for life. Ask yourself if you’ve done enough in the relationship.
In prayer you get to understand what is right, what to choose. You didn’t meet for nothing, don’t run away from it. In this time of rapid growth you change as a person, so it is logical that you also choose other relationships.
Above all, learn to end relationships respectfully. We still do it with conflict. Perhaps we can end the relationship with rituals, just as we started them with rituals.
Things change with growth. Everyone is looking for their own inspiration, their own way. You can accept this in all respect from each other. In rituals we can look for closing relationships.
Then it becomes unencumbered by going further from everyone’s way. It stays clean and pure. Often in relationships that are not going well there is still a lot that has remained unprocessed, often it is also unspoken matters. That lingers. Be honest with each other that sometimes a relationship is complete.
“Whatever God puts together they did not separate.”
At that time, the man could just send his wife out of the avenue. The woman was then forced to ask for permission to return to her own family. She was then treated like a sham, because she had put the family to shame. This was the lawlessness of the woman. The man was not allowed to be careless about this. That is what Jesus was about: Man and woman are equal to each other. Jesus dealt with the woman’s disenfranchisement at that time!
Now it is different, this is a different time.
The process of losing someone through divorce takes an average of 7 years. The grieving process of losing someone through death takes an average of 5 years. Divorce is often accompanied by feelings of anger and blame.
Dealing with children in a relationship
- Children are the fastest path to spiritual growth
- Children are not our property, but our teachers, they show our imperfections mercilessly.
- With children you have karmic matters to work out. It is good to see why children are so opposed to their parents.
- It is not the fault of the parents if children grow crooked. It is about karmic effects that also lie with the child. Children have their own responsibility.
- The essence of every child should be respected. Give children the space to find their own way. Allow the child to make his own mistakes. That is necessary to grow.
- Children owe to their parents the vehicle with which they can live on earth.
- Sometimes children have to break with their parents, sometimes it is necessary. Don’t feel guilty as parents. The child must discover who he is, outside his own environment. Try to give this child the freedom from within, then you will see that a renewed relationship is possible after that detour.
The commandment “Honor thy father and mother” pertains to seeking honesty. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t break. If parents go too far beyond your limits, you lose your freedom. The purpose of love is precisely to allow each other space.
- As a parent you are not superior to your children. Mutual respect is necessary.
How do you deal with conflict in a relationship?
Don’t get stuck in your own right. Go one step further and show your vulnerability, your pain. Then you will find a new way to each other. Then you can build a bridge again. Selfishness destroys relationships.
Lucifer, the inspiring spirit of egoism, works on all of us. Be aware of your own selfishness. Ask each other to what extent you are dominant towards each other or dependent on each other. It may all be there, but speak it out. Ultimately it is about living in universal love.