Are you back in bed thinking about why you don’t really allow the people who love you into your life? Why you don’t accept help from your friends and family?
Destructive behavior comes in many forms. From hurting yourself physically to mentally shutting yourself off completely from the outside world.
You don’t feel good enough and you think this can never change. You are completely wrong! Just Stop And Break Destructive Behavior
Destructive behavior can be stopped and broken by yourself. Curious how? In this article I will give you 10 useful tips.
What does (self)destructive behavior mean? According to philosopher Sigmund Freud, every human being craves both life and death.
To properly analyze destructive behavior you will first need to know that there are two types, namely destructive behavior towards yourself and destructive behavior towards others.
In the first form, your darkest thoughts skip over to yourself and you are negative and angry with yourself.
This can be physically such as injuring yourself, stopping eating, overeating and using drugs and alcohol as well as mentally by cutting yourself off from the people who love you and not accepting help.
In which destructive behavior that is not aimed at yourself focuses on others.
This is partly due to pent-up anger that can come out at once and turn into violence. You can direct this anger at strangers but also at your loved ones.
It means that your personality can suddenly change enormously. This destructive behavior often goes hand in hand with people who exhibit narcissistic behavior.
There is nothing wrong with you!
Now you may be thinking, but I recognize myself enormously in this destructive and narcissistic behavior.
This doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you.
These are simply very human behaviors that can be stopped and broken with the right guidance from yourself and the people who love you.
Often times, destructive behavior is self-protection from your family and society who have their negative views programmed onto you.
Of course you have not chosen to project yourself self-destructively. It’s a process.
This process must be stopped by yourself. When you know how to change this to positive thoughts, you will notice that you will lead a much nicer life.
Here are some handy tips that will help you stop your (self)destructive behavior.
Keep in mind that you have not accomplished this in a few days or weeks.
Changing destructive behavior is a process that takes many months, sometimes years to stop and break.
After all, it is always related to events from your past. Give yourself time.
Then let’s start with the 10 most important tips to stop self-destructive behavior!
1. Change your mind
Always keep in mind that self-destructive behavior is a dark side of yourself and it is not an isolated behavior.
This behavior stems from physical and/or mental wounds that you have suffered in the past and that you are trying to work through.
Be kind to yourself. This destructive behavior is self-protection and actually a way of coping.
When you can change your thoughts (in English: mindset ) from blaming yourself to being kind to yourself and approach life positively, you make yourself a lot stronger.
Keep in mind that this process takes time and involve your partner or best friend in this process if you have a relapse they can always help you.
2. Keep a diary
Journaling your mental and physical state has many benefits and is a smart way to increase your self-awareness.
Advantages of a diary are:
Increasing your self-awareness is a very important step in stopping and breaking through your destructive behavior.
By developing a healthy amount of self-confidence that views yourself and your environment in a realistic way, you will see the destructive behavior stop and turn into more positivism and openness to others without negative thoughts.
3. Practice meditation or mindfulness
Practicing meditation and mindfulness can greatly help you physically and mentally, but what exactly do they both mean?
Mindfulness means that you experience everything around you more intensely. So you are working on your full awareness of the now.
In practice this will mean for you that you look around you and observe more intensely. You focus on one person or one subject. So it’s about living more intensely and consciously.
There are many different forms of meditation and mindfulness that will come in handy for you, such as:
Walking meditation is an exercise from Buddhism that involves walking specific circles inside a room or outside.
Every step is taken after every breath. Before you do walking meditation after you have had longer meditation sessions where you have been sitting.
Yoga allows you to get to know your body better. It will make you more flexible and learn to relax.
4. A hobby where you can lose all your energy
Self-destructive behavior can also arise because you don’t have a hobby where you can use all your pent-up anger and energy.
Finding the right hobby to throw out all that energy and therefore show less destructive behavior is very important.
Hobbies you could practice include singing, dancing, swimming, running, ball sports and many more.
As long as you can get rid of all that anger, fear and negative feelings and therefore show less destructive behavior.
This is a hobby that, in addition to being pleasant, is also an energetic hobby.
A hobby such as chess, reading or going out to dinner does not help with this, you will really have to find a hobby that can be physically challenging.
5. Focus on your own needs
Put yourself first. It is important that you start loving yourself again and take good care of yourself physically and mentally.
Don’t complicate your life and focus on yourself. The most important thing is that you are kind to yourself.
Your own needs usually consist of physical needs such as getting enough sleep, eating healthy, drinking enough water, sex, exercising, wearing clothes that you feel comfortable in and so on.
Another important tip that makes sure you love yourself more is standing in front of the mirror. Take a good look at yourself and tell yourself “I love you.”
You won’t be able to do the conversation in the mirror right away and that it will have an immediate effect.
This takes time, but when you succeed you will notice that speaking to yourself in the mirror will also increase your self-confidence enormously. Your self-image is more positive and this affects every facet of your life.
6. Find out the cause
There is always a limit to what you can only solve by reading information.
The first step can be taken by you, but if you want to see even more improvement in breaking through and stopping your destructive behavior, you will have to take your experience expert in the hand.
The best is a psychologist or therapist who really knows everything in this area and has already assisted many people who have been destructive in their lives.
However, seeing a professional is also a process that takes time, so don’t expect your behavior to fully improve within a few weeks.
The professional gives you handles, shares experiences and is a listening ear.
7. Pursue your goals and reward yourself
After you have decided to get started with yourself, it is important that you set goals. These goals should consist of small steps with the big goal of stopping destructive behavior. However, it is important that you reward yourself during this process.
Pursue small goals such as daily and weekly goals. When you accomplish this, reward yourself with positive thoughts and with the greater goal in sight.
For the professional and/or your partner and friends who guide you in this, it is also much easier to properly assess your process if clear goals are pursued.
In this way they can cheer you up when necessary, motivate you, calm you down and address you sternly where necessary.
8. Accept the pain you feel
This is perhaps the most difficult tip to break through destructive behavior. Accepting from yourself the pain of feeling unhappy.
Apply self-reflection to yourself. Ask yourself questions such as: Why do I feel this way? Where does this come from? How can I stop this behavior?
There are always events in the past that play a role in this. Try to make those causes clear to yourself and try to process them in a more positive way.
This ensures that you feel less pain inside and that you can close events for yourself.
So by accepting yourself and the associated pain, you will see that you come out stronger and more positive.
9. Don’t avoid social contacts
Spending time with friends and family helps to counteract destructive behavior.
People who care about you will recognize this and help you do it and the chances of destructive behavior occurring in company are much smaller.
Meeting your friends and family generally has a positive effect on behavior and feelings, because these people take away your stress and you don’t have to think about your dark thoughts for a while.
10. Break Contacts, Just Stop And Break Destructive Behavior
In addition to entering into social contacts, you will also have to exclude contacts that have a negative influence on your behavior.
Only collect the people who really care about you in your life.
If you want to know even more to stop your destructive behavior and create a better and more positive life, sign up now for our free e-book ‘ The Self-Confidence Secret ‘.
The e-book is packed with information and useful tips to become more confident and overcome inner blockages.
Whether you’re young or old, female or male, our eBook will help you immensely and it’s completely free.