It sometimes amazes me how many people don’t realize what they’re saying. As if words have no energy. As if words just slide past you. We now know that words do have a lot of impact on us. When there is a lot of talk about bad weather or about dramatic events in the news, we can become sip or down. And it happens much more often than we realize.
What I want to ask you is if you want to go back in your mind to the swear words that were thrown at you. Mine were: floppy ear, breadstick and lamppost. Within the family there were many more affectionate words, such as: ‘nasty girl’, ‘unbearable child’, ‘nasty girl’, ‘spoiled brat’, ‘lazy pig’, ‘bad girl’, ‘crane gnat’, ‘ungrateful child’. And so I can go on and on. I was a tough teenager, I admit.
These kinds of swear words all affect you. Now it is true that children can have a lot. Once they hear such swear words, she doesn’t do it much, but if they hear this over and over, day after day, year after year, the words will become flesh. Then they take shape in your body, like a kind of ‘red button’. You then make beliefs in yourself, just to understand why they called you that, “I’m lazy,” or “I can’t be trusted,” or “I’m bad.”
I once had a red button like that: ‘I can’t be trusted.’ When my director jokingly said to a colleague: “You have to check whether what she says is correct, you know.” I went completely tilted. To me, that joke was like a red flag on a bull. I spoke to my director about it and only much later did I understand that it was really a joke. Interesting kind of humor, by the way.
What is very nice is that if people still make comments in that direction, it no longer affects me, because I now know that it is not true. That is what I have been able to heal with the MIR-Method.
It is incorporated in the 9 steps. This time you can puzzle out for yourself which of the 9 steps contains the healing for these ‘red buttons’. I want to teach you something else.
The red button exercise
Just think of it as a fun game. You bring back the swear words from back then and ‘give them all the peace’. That means saying a swear word out loud and stroking your hand at the same time. You then repeat the swear words as often as you can, very calmly, very kindly, while continuing to pet them.
At some point, after about 20 times, the swear words lose their power because you put so much tenderness against them. You then give so much love and peace to the swear words that they become empty words that no longer affect you. It can be touching for a while, but that will become less of its own accord. Just keep on stroking! When you’re ready, do all 9 steps of the MIR-Method.
Testing whether your red button still works
If you want, you can then test whether the red button still works. I did this exercise with a colleague and it was hilarious. She kept calling me names, in a calm tone, for everything that touched me. “You are a liar.” “You’re no good.”
“You are a dork.” and as she said that, I kept stroking my hand and felt if it still touched me. That was quite painful at first, but I gradually noticed that I felt inside that it was not the truth and so the words no longer hurt me.
I hope it works that way for you too. Remember that you can always heal yourself on the words someone has said to you. Just erase it all!