in ways that unconditional love doesn’t. Our quest for love is our desire for instant gratification and material proof that we are worthy and deserving of love, versus the willingness to be in a state of realizing that love always exists, even when we have no physical proof of it in our lives.
Physical evidence means, among other things, being in a loving intimate relationship, having people around us who express their love to us through gratitude and recognition, and who let us know through their response to us that they love us. We have a “love agenda” that clearly defines what love means to us. When the behavior and actions of others don’t match our love agenda, we think they don’t like us and we’re not worthy of love.
There is an element in emotional love that feels temporary, confusing and fearful – does that person really love us, how can we know if it is forever?
Every relationship has a temporary aspect that we may not want to see but that we know is there. The person who loves us today might change their mind tomorrow and we will have no love left in our life. So often our desire for love is expressed as a fear of facing a terrifying truth that we don’t want to dwell on, that we are truly unattractive.
Unfortunately, when we fear that we are unattractive and unloved, we attract people who mirror us. On a spiritual level they love us more than we can imagine, but on a material level they have no choice but to reflect back to us our beliefs about love. In a message from Archangel Uriel several years ago,
I wrote, “You will never receive more love from others than you have for yourself.” We love ourselves, of course, or at least some aspects of ourselves, but are we able to know love in a spiritual sense, such as in unconditional love, no matter what happens on the physical plane?
Unconditional love is one of humanity’s greatest challenges, because as long as there is even an iota of condemnation, we are in a conditional expression of love, which means “if you do this, or act this way, or those things says, then I know you love me, and if you don’t, then you don’t love me.
And we expand that to how much love we consider ourselves worth, if we don’t get that confirmation. with ordinary love? Because they are different energies, even though we have put all aspects and expressions of love into an emotional package, we have to look at them separately in order to understand the true energy of love.
The love we feel is emotional, the love we are is spiritual. The need for love from others is really a demand for affirmation. Unconditional love involves acceptance, but for emotional love that is not enough. We want to know that others think we’re okay, that we’re worthy of being in their emotional love circle, that they think we’re good, beautiful, thoughtful, and surprising enough to give us their love. However, all we really want is to know that they like us because that is the emotional and material expression of unconditional love.
When we can go beyond our need to be liked, then we can explore the possibilities of unconditional love and then we are in the energy of acceptance, which is completely non-judgmental,and we are in this sphere because we already are and have all the love we could possibly want or need. Then we have faith, instead of approaching others with doubt in our hearts, confusion and fear, because we know that we are worthy of love and that whether someone likes us or not is irrelevant to the love we already are.