The pain of loss

The pain of loss
How do you ever get over the pain of loss? Why does this hurt so much? Why is it happening to you? Why is it so unfair? How can you detach from that pain when it runs so deep? What if you don’t want to feel that pain anymore? How will you ever get over this?

Losing someone or something can be so painful that you can no longer see your world and everything around it clearly. Emotions take over and you fall into a deep hole, wondering if you can ever get out of it.

The images of the past and the moments you have experienced flash through your head and at times it is still gasping for breath. The tears just keep on flowing and there seems to be no end, which can give your life a dark edge. But when you’re in the moment, you really don’t see that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Why is this happening to you, why is life so hard sometimes? It is all difficult to process and you wonder how to move on, how to move on. Sometimes everything is so unfair. And sometimes it’s so hard to feel so intense. The sadness dominates your days and you consider that your future has changed, everything has changed. Why does losing hurt so much, and why do we become so attached to something or someone when we know it will pass or that we can lose it? Clear thinking is no longer possible at such a moment and all you see is the loss, pain, and sadness that come with it.

The pain of loss

Letting go

How do you let go if you weren’t ready yet? How do you get on without the love you had in abundance and now no longer? How do you still want to fill your days and how do you pick yourself up again? Indescribable pain cuts through your heart and soul and your head tries to reason all kinds of things. Whoever invented loss? Why doesn’t it get easier? What is the joy in everything?

Letting go is perhaps the hardest and hardest part of life and it often hurts impossibly. Coupled with the intense sense of loss, so much sadness comes up, and all the emotions shoot up in all directions. Letting go is painful, letting go is hard, and letting go is sad, but letting go is necessary. Letting go is part of life and part of it, no matter how much we don’t want to feel, see or experience it. You are never ready for letting go, there is no special procedure for letting go.

Letting go is a process that you have to go through, and every day gives you a little more healing and acceptance. Letting go is accepting, but when you’re just in the process, that’s anything but possible. No words that make it right, no words that make you see differently. Because the pain is real, the grief is real and the loss is real.


It takes time, a lot of time. And all you can do is cherish the memories, be grateful for the time you had together and keep the focus on the fun things. It really won’t work in the beginning and that’s okay because it’s a step-by-step process. A process that just needs time to go through all those layers. Time to experience, feel, and let go of all those different processes. Each time a little further and more aware and more healed.

The pain of loss

Slowly you will regain confidence in life and understand the purpose of letting go. You start to feel joy again and every now and then you fall back. That’s the way it is. You can’t possibly avoid it. Allow it all, the sadness, the pain, the loss. Fighting against not wanting to experience and feel it only makes the process harder. You can feel the pain, you can feel the sadness, it can be there. You can be there! That is the process of healing and the process of living. Because there will come a day when you have given everything a place, and until then it is important to be kind to yourself and the process you are in. Better times are coming, although they are not yet visible.

Grieving process in layers

The grieving process takes place in layers. As cliché as it may sound to some, with time you will heal little by little and you will pick up your life again. In the beginning, you may fall back by the hour, then it becomes daily and then weekly, and so on. One moment it is better than the next. You can also relapse into depression, unfortunately, this is part of it in some cases. In some cases, it is even better to ask for help, and there is certainly nothing wrong with that. Because you can also be so stuck in your own unprocessed emotions, which sometimes makes it difficult to look at life positively.

One thing is certain: life goes on. And whether you like it or not, you have to pick yourself and your life back. Be there for yourself and realize that this process is inevitable for everyone. Stay aware of the strength and courage that lie deep in your heart, to gather yourself together and face life with open arms again. Try to regain confidence in life, because life also has its beautiful sides. Try to stay focused on the positive in life, and everything positive around you. Learn to be grateful for the moments you’ve had, but also those you still have. Life will get better if you believe in it.

The pain of loss

Allow grieving process

But also give yourself the chance to allow the grieving process and not to shy away from it. Let the sadness come and go, so that you make room for love, joy, and happiness again. Give your heart the space to heal, so that it can open again. Because after rain always comes sunshine, even if you don’t see it that way yet. Keep trusting the process and the strength within yourself, because you will come out of this stronger. And maybe when the time comes, you can give it a place.



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