It was Mother Earth knocking on my wounded wife’s closed door. Mother Earth is in turmoil. We are in the midst of the rebirth of her energy. She wants to bring her love and beauty back into our earthly life. It is the original feminine energy within us. Her light, sensual, energetic life force has been fought over and forbidden for centuries. It’s time for a turnaround. Mother Earth wants to go back to the origin, her feminine earthly love may merge in us with the masculine universal love. She has awakened the hidden woman in me.
The awakening of the woman
The changes I have gone through in recent years have brought me closer to myself. Closer to who I really am. A metamorphosis of a woman who mainly felt what someone else needed, to a woman who is allowed to feel her own desires. Who dares to hear and follow her heart. A woman who can be free again.
So strange to write this in 2019, a time when it seems that we women are free to do what we want in the Netherlands. That’s how I thought I lived. Only in recent years have I realized that I live in the same cage as my grandmother, albeit with much more acquired external freedoms. Inside me was a wounded woman who bears unbelievable resemblance to my grandmother. A woman who shuts herself off to be safe, who tries to avoid trouble and uses her strength outside herself to maintain harmony, all at the expense of herself. And the strange thing is, I was so used to this ‘anxious woman’ that I forgot who I really am!
Through the pain
The returning power of Mother Earth touches old pains of the wounded woman. Our body blocks access to this woman in order not to have to feel the pain and anxieties of old traumas again. This struggle that takes place in the unconscious, demands more and more energy and causes exhaustion, burnout and illness. The absence of the sensual feminine energy gives emptiness and lack of security and expresses itself in depression and restlessness.
Consciously or unconsciously, we are all in the midst of awakening. The question is how do we respond to this. Are we unconsciously going to fight harder, pushing the pain away even further? Do we become more and more distracted in order not to have to feel? Or do we go along with Mother Earth’s turnaround, and do we consciously choose to surrender to the transformation that is taking place? Dare to face the pain and set your wife free. She is the most beautiful thing you have, your fire, she is who you are.
Surrender and the Gift
You may be wondering: who is that ‘real’ woman? Do I live here? You can feel her inside, but few women dare to live her openly. It takes courage to fully face yourself and embrace your sensuality.
I made the choice to open my door and let my wife back in step by step. A road full of intense confrontations with myself, my emotions and my fears. And every time I feel her love again, the emotions, pain or fear disappear and there is joy, security and the fire burns in me. Creativity is bubbling up and my body seems to be getting an energy boost. Tightening transforms into a soft openness.
I feel wonderfully feminine, light and passionate in my sensuality and it has an infectious effect on the world around me. What is striking is the security and peace it gives to my children, clients, relations and others around me. My restless and questioning world transforms into harmony and tranquility, I turn my world around.For relationship problems come harmonious solutions that I did not expect.
Harmony with the Masculine Energy
Only when I allow the masculine energy in me can my sensual woman stand strong for who she is. It is the masculine strength that gives her the courage to dare to be distinctive. The wounded woman in her suffering has built up a grudge against the masculine energy, as if he were to blame for her suffering. Yet it is the woman herself who cages herself with her own feminine condemnation and envy. The resentment towards the masculine energy stands in the way of the life of earthly love, the feminine in us. By restoring the harmony between the man and woman in me, I get the freedom to live my hidden woman.
Myself every day?
Can I do it every day now? No, it’s a path of trial and error. Extremes, from complete trust to sometimes destructive feelings. After rest, fear resurfaces. But now I am aware of it. I feel it right now when I hide my real wife again. I notice it in my energy, the reactions of my children, the confidence in my work and my zest for life. That makes it easier to choose and I can now bring my wife out again right away.
Live your Sensual Woman
Do you want to discover and feel the ‘real’ woman you long for? Do you want to live full of energy and inspiration again? Dare to choose to break open the closed door and welcome the powerful sensual woman, with the pain that comes with it. It asks to love yourself. Self-love puts down the struggle against yourself and opens the door to the oppressed woman. A courageous heart and confidence help you to dare to embrace her earthly love again. Complete surrender to love, we are love! We can experience again that love is our strength and we can use it to heal the fear to appropriate it.