The road to self-acceptance

The road to self-acceptance

This is a road that has taken me quite a long time as I was bullied for a large part of my childhood. This gave me a different view of the world and a conviction that I had to get my approval from outside somewhere. It has ensured that I got a stamp that I carried with me for a long time.

Now, of course, I see things very differently and I look at the world very differently, partly because of what I’ve been through. And now I see that it’s not about what the outside world thinks of you, but what you think of yourself. The people who, like me, have had a bullying past will understand what I mean by carrying this stamp with you for a long time. It is not easy if you are ‘rejected’ from an early age and are constantly told that you are not good enough. It shapes you anyway and for a large part of your life ensures that you always adapt. This part is perhaps the hardest to change back again.

If you have taught yourself to always adapt yourself, then you will run into this ‘problem’ later in life or should I rather say ‘challenge’? There will come a time when you don’t want to adjust anymore and you want to do what you want. There will come a time in your life when you will ‘do’ see your self-worth and use it to become happy. You don’t want to adapt and dance to other people’s tunes anymore.

You’ve been saying ‘YES’ to everything that it became easy for people to take advantage of or manipulate you. This was not done consciously, but you did allow it. Then there comes a time when you no longer allow all that because you come to see that your worth does not depend on anyone else.

Everyone has their own way

The road to self-acceptance

Of course, I talk a lot from my own story and from what I have experienced, but from experience, I also know that since we are all part of the whole, we can all recognize each other’s story. However, I hope my story to shows people what it was and can be, since we can always draw inspiration from each other’s personal stories.

Life hasn’t been easy for the most part and I’ve always felt like I had to fight and somehow this has become a certain strategy that’s been maintained. If you always play the same story, you will end up in a kind of loop (pronounced loupe) that will repeat your lessons. This will happen until you have learned what you had to learn and this was for me to learn to see my ‘ self-worth’ again.

I’ve had a turbulent life and have the feeling that I am only now slowly coming out of all the turmoil. A life of mental and physical abuse, self-destructive behavior, drug use, being bullied/jealousy, eating disorder/bulimia, getting into the wrong relationships, being used/abused and manipulated, illness, debt relief/social assistance and a few private things I’d rather leave out, have shaped me into who and what I am today. It has ensured that I am the strong woman that I am and that I can help and/or inspire other people with that.

No regrets

The road to self-acceptance

Despite what I have been through and have cursed my life several times, I am no longer sad. I now dare to talk about it something I haven’t done in a long time and always kept myself ‘big’. Of course, I sometimes have moments when things still come up and I still feel like a victim somewhere or fall back into a mild depression. I know these are all “old programs” that want and need to get out of my system to be healed. I believe that life has to go the way it goes to make you the way you are.

I believe that everything is already determined and that everything has an end goal, even if you don’t see it yet. Your life is a journey that you ‘may’ take and that teaches you to find yourself again and helps you to stand in your power again. No matter how difficult and heavy these lessons are with time and time. And several times I have relapsed into my life and felt like I was back to square one. Throughout my life various therapists have passed in review, of which they do not all have life experience and especially try to show you the way from the book.

Life experience, something I certainly got through my turbulent life and for a long time I tried to flee and I also regretted so many things. Now in retrospect, I see the bigger picture and I look at life differently. Sometimes things just take a while to land and as I said it can also sometimes seem like you’re back where you started.

But actually, you go a layer deeper than you went before. It’s like peeling an onion until you get to your core. The core of your ‘true self’ and let’s be honest that’s where we all want to go, don’t we? For from there we will know self-esteem and from there we will live from that inexhaustible source, which will bring us all happiness. So don’t be afraid if some ‘old pain’ comes up again,

Dare to stand up for yourself

The road to self-acceptance

As I said before, I found it difficult to share my personal stories, but slowly I now dare to come out for myself even more. Since I don’t just do it for someone else, but actually more for my own healing process. I notice that when I write about it, a change comes to me, which makes room for me to be completely there.

If that makes sense somewhere… Self-acceptance is also accepting those parts of yourself that you never really wanted to see or experience or from which you fled so hard. Confront those parts of your past, for they too are part of you and you cannot wish them away or think them away. It has made you who and what you are today and does not make you a worse person.

It has ensured that my life is different and that I have a lot of experience, and it has given me a lot of compassion. Compassion, because I know what people go through since I’ve also experienced most of it.

I don’t want to talk about the past forever because I don’t want to sound like a victim. But it does help me to close things down, especially since I also follow EMDR therapy. Somewhere the cesspool has opened up and I feel the need to throw it out and write it off. Let’s just say I’m definitely not being pathetic or trying to act because I’m not and I don’t feel that way.

If certain things come across that way, I may still have some unresolved emotions somewhere that I’m trying to get rid of this way. I find that it is quite liberating for me. After all, it is my path to healing and self-acceptance. But I also had a lot of recognition in other people’s stories and because of that, I could see that I was not alone.

So I hope to be able to give people insights and to show that they are not alone. That I am open to offering help if people have certain questions because I too have been faced with certain questions that I needed help with. I want to be there for people because I know what it’s like to be alone. Even if you need a listening ear, if you want to write off (to me) then I want to help with that. Life throws quite a few lessons at our feet and you don’t always have the help around you that you need or look for.

With this, I want to reach out to the people who are looking for help to give them a push to continue since a lot is happening energetically now and a lot is being released collectively with everyone. Don’t hesitate to send me a message and I will give advice where I can or share my experiences, which might show you a bright spot again. No one has to face it alone.



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