“You’re not very wise, not so good sob, you look like an idiot.” ‘You’re not good enough, you can’t do anything, you whine like a real poser again’. “Crybaby, stupid child, annoying child, difficult child, attention grabber, you are not worth it, others are more beautiful, mommy thinks you are weird too, just like everyone else”…..
These are some statements that I hear daily in practice and live in the minds of my warm and sweet clients. They are sometimes full of such inner statements, resounding like echoes of the emotional incompetence of educators, parents, associates, and fellow students. The repetition of these external statements has made them believe so strongly that these statements that others have fired at them before are true and are felt and experienced as such.
But are those old-fashioned statements from third parties also true? Is it really true for you if you recognize this, even though it seems to have become so real as a program in your head that you can hardly help but be this? Or was it originally just someone else’s frustrating statements that keep rehearsing like an old creaky groove on a long-playing record? Don’t those statements actually have a different owner?
What does your own, still small voice say, somewhere deep inside? Can you make emotional contact with that by being quiet for a while and feeling still? What’s your truth? Are you really as ‘bad’ as the past emotion and incompetence of others say in your head?
Or do you see that such statements stem from someone else’s inability to feel the love within themselves? That they did not know how to deal with their own frustrations and that they may have heard similar statements from others themselves and reacted automatically from that frustration?
Constantly follow your attention to that place of ‘deep in my heart”. The little fire, the inner warmth, the genuineness, the cry, the softness, the embrace of yourself.
In that little feeling, ask again and again: ‘Is it true for me and what do I want or find?’
In the beginning, the grooves creak even harder. About time you notice that something is about to change. But don’t give up. Keep asking in that young feeling so it can grow. The doubt in the head is necessary to be able to trust. Without a doubt, no trust. Becoming aware of this will loosen you up from the programs. You begin to feel your truth, instead of hearing the lies.