Healthy confidence is like a GPS system—you know where you’re going, you trust your decisions, and you’re willing to take risks. Have you lost touch with this inner signpost? Find it back with these 3 pieces of advice in this article
Since you were born, that self-confidence has existed and already lives in you, unbroken like a glittering crystal.
Did you know that everyone is born with an inner source that helps you to love yourself if that source was taken care of by your parents in your childhood? This source is also known as self-confidence. Take the following example: a baby knows when he is hungry and when he is tired. Every toddler knows what he likes and who he wants to play with. You grow up and get to know yourself, your rhythms, what you like and like, and what not. But because the ‘grown-ups’ have always told you that they know better, you believed them and your confidence became hidden.
Ultimately, you seek the approval and guidance of others and you do not rely on yourself. Many people have therefore started to doubt themselves and constantly want the approval of others in their lives, strive for perfectionism, and are afraid of failure.
Your self-confidence is not only buried under the belief that everyone knows better than you, but also weakened by your desire to get validation from others. Self-confidence is a precious stone deep in the pit yourself. When the well in you is full of water, when you know yourself and trust yourself, you learn to love yourself. In other words: knowing yourself + loving yourself = trusting yourself.
Approval from others
You learn from an early age that your parents encourage and compliment you when you do something good. Oh, in your youth such a smile feels like sunlight! You seek the approval of others in this way and it is like holding a bottomless bucket, waiting for it to be filled. You may feel happy or reassured when someone is happy with what you do, but those feelings don’t last long.
That’s why the bucket has no bottom: you can climb the social, educational and creative ladder all your life. You can achieve anything that you think will bring you happiness. And yet you can be left without real satisfaction from life.
Healthy self-confidence is like a GPS system: you know where you are going, you trust your own decisions (big and small) and you are willing to take risks. You are not afraid to make mistakes, because your own being is not dependent on others.
No one stares at a newborn baby and says, “I love you when you go to medical school, marry a beautiful person, have two healthy children, and make a lot of money.” And you shouldn’t do this to yourself either. You have to love yourself without that love being dependent on external factors.
Your being depends on your self-confidence. Is it possible to trust yourself again if you haven’t done so all your life? Absolute. Since you were born, that self-confidence has existed and already lives in you, unbroken like a glittering crystal.
Begin your journey to restore your confidence
Just like in all areas of your development, it takes time, patience, and motivation to heal. Change doesn’t come all of a sudden within 30 days or after three simple steps, but by following these guidelines you will begin the journey to rebuild your confidence.
Start each day by focusing on yourself
This means that every morning instead of sitting on your phone, you first grab your diary, your book full of inspiration, to take a moment for yourself. Try some simple yoga or breathing exercises. If you do this every day, you start to focus on yourself and not on the outside world. That’s how you change your life.
Get to know your intrinsic network
Accept your intelligence, your temperament and your sensitivity level. When you learn the different forms of intelligence, as Howard Gardner brilliantly described them, you restore some of your self-knowledge and self-love, which also restores your self-confidence. The same can be said about your temperament and sensitivity level.
Go on a Facebook diet
If you often worry about what others think, Facebook will only add to that fear. It’s almost impossible to go on Facebook without comparing yourself to others in some way. If you communicate with your friends through Facebook, you may be able to do so over the phone from now on.
Experiment with these suggestions for thirty days and notice how you feel. Everyone I’ve helped so far has noticed a difference in their confidence and happiness by making these changes and putting time and energy into themselves.